MADELEINE WEST: 'I speak to kids in schools every week. There's one thing they all keep from their parents.'

As an online safety educator, I spend a lot of time presenting and chatting to kids in schools.

And whenever I ask them if they've ever seen anything dodgy online, all the hands shoot up.

When I ask if they would tell their mum or dad, they generally say no — because they are scared they will lose their device.  

As a parent, that is what terrifies me most: that kids aren't telling us what they see because they feel like they can't.  And we have every reason to be scared.  

Watch: How 'Proud Parent Syndrome' Affects Your Child's Cyber-Safety. Post continues below. 

Parenting our kids through the digital jungle is HARD.

Online games like Roblox, which can seem harmless, may expose children to inappropriate content and unsafe behaviours if not monitored carefully.

Bloomberg reported that in 2020, a registered sex offender in Kansas, US, communicated with an 8-year-old girl who he gifted thousands of "Robux" (virtual currency) in exchange for explicit images and videos which she took on her iPad.

Concerns have also been raised about inappropriate behaviour on Meep City — a once popular virtual world on Roblox intended for socialising — where reported concerns were shared that curious kids were exposed to dating advances and explicit content before features were changed.

A Roblox spokesperson says they have a zero-tolerance policy for predatory behaviour on the platform. But once seen, these things cannot be unseen, and the trauma is real.

Pics posted or sent by teens via messaging apps — including apps such as Snapchat — can be manipulated by deepfake AI apps and, in some instances, weaponised against them. There have also been stories of kids coerced into sharing intimate images with online "friends" then extorted with threats of the images being released publicly.

This is the new "stranger danger" and it's terrifying.

It's easy to dismiss stories like these as something that could only happen to  someone else, somewhere far away. But as an online safety educator in schools, I'm sorry to tell you that these types of stories are disclosed to me by students first-hand, and much worse continue to surface every day…  

The Age Delay, otherwise known as The Ban, is coming. From December 10, 2025, Australian kids must be 16 or over to access those social media accounts identified as potentially harmful.

Until now, the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act enforced the  recommended age of 13. But this doesn't change the fact that at every school I speak at, 90 per cent of the students have or had signed up to social media under the age of 13 — and 175,000 children under the age of 12 sign up to social media every day.

For context, we were up in arms at the leak of 100 or 200 data points following the hacking of Medibank and Optus, yet by the time the average child reaches 13, there are up to 72 million data points on them available online.  

Sobering, isn't it?  

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Parenting in the online age is HARD. We are all doing our best to keep our kids safe in the face of technological advancements we have no hope of keeping pace with, let alone understanding.

The harsh reality is, the future is digital, and we cannot afford to deny that, nor bury our heads in the sand.  

Our kids are the first generation for whom screens aren't just a convenience, they are like an extra limb. A limb they will become increasingly more reliant on for the rest of their lives. Education about how to navigate online spaces safely is key, but that begins with open conversation.  

My advice, as an educator and a fellow frazzled mum? Please don't threaten to take away your child's device at the first whiff of online trouble. Post-pandemic kids use devices as tools of communication, education and entertainment. If we threaten to cut them off, what we really cut off is an opportunity for them to come to us when they see something inappropriate or find themselves in trouble.  

It takes all my willpower, but I now make a point of asking my lot about what they see, what they do online, from a place of curiosity, not consternation. I game with them. Initially, it had all the appeal of pulling teeth, but now I see it through their eyes. Let them know whatever happens, you have their back, and you will help them fix it.

As parents, we don't always get it right. But it's our job to advocate for our kids, and knowing they can come to us and tell us what they see before greater harm occurs is the best way to keep them safe. 

Feature Image: Supplied

Madeleine West is an online safety educator with ctrl+shft.