The official guide to being a good bridesmaid.

When I was asked to be a bridesmaid I had no idea what it entailed.

About 9 months ago one of my close friends gave me a gorgeous purple box that contained nail polish, an appliquéd singlet, a diary, a mini bottle of alcohol, a colour swatch, a notebook and the following sign.

Of course, I said yes.

I’d been a bridesmaid before, I was my sister’s Maid of Honour, but my sister and my friend are two totally different people so I knew it would be a completely different experience.

Fast forward to now and months of preparation has culminated into the wedding last weekend.

Looking back, I am happy to admit I was probably not been the best bridesmaid. I have a super busy life and I missed a lot of expected bridal appointments. Luckily, the bride chose some other super-keen bridesmaids who have taken the role in their stride and done a heap more than I did.

I have basically used them, and a lot of intense bridal magazine and wedding website research, to compile this official guide on how to be a good bridesmaid.

I can’t say “I do” without you.

The bride has probably gone to extreme Pinteresting lengths to find the perfect way to ask you. First things first,  SAY YES.

Shop till you drop.

Shopping days you should be present for as a bridesmaid include: dress shopping, shoe shopping, jewellery shopping, bag shopping and flower shopping. Pretty much anything that will be bought for the wedding, you should be shopping for it (not a bad thing, but time consuming no less).

Cluck cluck.

It’s the Hen’s Night! Traditionally, it’s the maid of honour who organises and pays for the Hen's night but in recent times the bridal party now share the role. Make sure it’s a night that the bride will want. Either she’ll love phallic shaped paraphernalia or she won’t. You should know what type of friend she is. Try not to get it wrong.

Clear the calendar.

As a bridesmaid, you will be expected to attend a number of appointments, fittings and events. We all have lives, MOST brides understand this. If you can’t attend the event/fitting/Cinderella’s Ball let the bride know in advance. Events that will be on your calendar include: engagement party, shopping days, dress fittings, food tasting, bridal shower, Hen’s day/night/weekend, rehearsal dinner and, you know, probably the wedding. (I failed this point on some accounts, but I am showing up to the wedding.)

Pinch the pennies.

Being a bridesmaid will cost you money, there is no easy way to say it. Dress, shoes, bags, make up, beauty treatments, hen’s nights, bridal showers, it all costs money and lots of it. A good bridesmaid knows what the bride and groom are covering and what she is expected to pay. Start saving.

Friends forever.

Let me tell you something, weddings ruin friendships. Do not let a difference of opinion, a time consuming job or a new mum who can’t attend bridesmaid duties ultimately decide the fate of your friendship. Neither the bride or bridesmaids will be perfect (trust me I wasn’t). Don’t ruin a lifelong friendship over a wedding. Just don’t.

And of course:

Don’t forget to show up – The Big Day!

If you, as a bridesmaid, can’t, for whatever reason, commit to the pre-wedding tasks just remember your role officially is about the wedding day.

And brides – if your bridesmaids maybe aren't awesome leading up to the wedding remember you asked them to be your bridesmaid so they can be there on the day, your wedding day. That is what is really important.

Final tips for bridesmaids on the wedding day:

Keep the bride calm. Because she won’t be able to keep herself calm.

Be the go-to person. All vendors will need a contact person, let that person be you.

Be organised.  The emergency kit, the bags, the extra make up. Don’t forget anything.

There’s something in her teeth.  TELL HER.

Don’t trip. While it makes for a great photo, and possible You Tube fame, try not to.

Hold her dress. Yes, while she goes to the bathroom.

And most importantly

HAVE FUN. 

A wedding is the ultimate party and you are privileged to be a part of it. Dance, laugh, mingle and enjoy it. Because it is all over too soon.

How do your bridesmaids rate on our official guide? Let us know what else you think should be included. 

Want more? Try:

This is the very definition of the most failed wedding proposal ever.

Would your bridesmaids have done this?

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