'Disturbing the peace.' The complaint letter about noisy kids that has divided the internet.

A complaint letter written by a disgruntled neighbour in a Sydney apartment block has gone viral this week after being shared on Reddit. 

The letter described how some children, apparently being babysat by their grandparents, were "disturbing the peace". 

"Dear Neighbour, could you please consider that sound travels and your grandkids are making a lot of noise," the letter reads.

"We are all entitled to the 'peaceful enjoyment' in our apartments. Today your visitors have been screaming and dragging loud toys and disturbing the peace."

The letter ended with a threat that they would "call the police" if the noise continued and I am not sure the writer understands what police actually... do?  

I have many feelings about this petty letter and the broader issue, so please excuse me while I take a deep breath and compose myself. Here goes...

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It will come as a shock to precisely no one that children make noise. I have two of them that live in my home and they disturb my peace frequently.

Teens, babies, toddlers - they are loud. Maybe not all day and maybe not every single child, but most children make noise and most parents attempt to keep it to a minimum. 

Kids cry and scream with despair when they are hungry or sick; they shriek with joy when they're having a fun time, and goodness knows mine fight like a pair of rabid wolf cubs when jealousy kicks in. 

Children are designed to be loud from birth so we don't forget to feed them and we can't really blame them for biology. Parents, grandparents, or carers hear the cries or shouts and then respond with food, love, or reprimands - but this doesn't mean the noise will instantly cease. 

Yes, noisy kids can be annoying but there's no need to be nasty about it.

I am constantly breaking up emotional fights between my boys that usually take place in our yard over cricket score keeping. 

It is THE most difficult part of the parenting stage I currently find myself in, and I feel bad for the neighbours. I try to sort out the disagreements as quickly (and quietly) as possible to keep the fighting to a minimum. 

But there is noise, and it is an issue - I get it. 

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If you live next door to noisy families, there are of course levels of acceptability and I understand that it's hard. Especially if you are trying to work or nap or just chill with a coffee on your balcony. On behalf of overwhelmed parents of loud kids everywhere, I apologise for the disturbance.

I remember a quiet time before I had kids, and it was awesome apart from when noisy kids ruined my peace. I used to get cross but as I approached motherhood and then had my own kids; I let my frustrations (somewhat) go.

But back to today and apart from supervising my bickering sons 24/7 or not allowing them to play outside at all, their occasional noise is part of the reality of having kids and I am not willing to do either of those things because that would be weird and also cruel.

While my neighbours have not directly complained to me about my kids (yet), it would take me back if they did. We live in the suburbs and our kids are outside after school for about an hour a day and a little more at weekends. 

A few years ago, it was our neighbours turn to be the 'noisy family' with four young kids who have since grown up. I would hear them playing on the trampoline and while it was mostly fine, if it got too loud, I would come inside or close the back door. 

If they were fighting or playing noisily at 3am, it might be an issue, but 4pm? That's just life as part of a community and we don't live in an adults-only luxury resort, so we all have to deal with it.

For some neighbours, like the letter writer however, that is apparently too much to ask.

My 73-year-old mother-in-law also has neighbours who take issue when the grandchildren come over on the weekend.

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They didn't write her a letter or threaten to call the police, but they once came over to ask her to "do something about it" and get her "unruly" grandkids in line.  

She loves seeing her extended family for a few hours on the weekend, so I am not sure what these neighbours were expecting. That she should shut the doors and windows and keep the grandkids inside instead of playing in her pool? She politely told them she would do absolutely nothing about it. 

Now when we go round there to visit, this disgruntled neighbour plays stupidly loud music from a bluetooth speaker up against their shared fence as soon as one child makes a squeak. The kids find it amusing and it sure brings the party vibes, so it only makes them louder. Oops.

If kids are not to make any noise when with their grandparents for a few hours, then should they just put the little loves on screens for a few hours instead?

It's just an unsubstantiated hunch but I bet that the disgruntled letter writer and my mother-in-law's unhappy music lovers are also tutting at mums in cafes who put their kids on screens while they enjoy a coffee. 

They likely lament that kids were much better behaved in the 50s/60s/70s (insert rose-tinted previous era here) and clearly so were the parents AND grandparents. 

It's tough being a parent (or even a grandparent who offers to babysit) in 2022. 

We get judged for raising a generation of kids who spend too much time on screens and yet no one wants to hear our kids playing or just being kids. Have we not moved on from the 19th century idea of children being seen and not heard?

I think both the letter writer whose peace was disturbed, and my mother-in-law's neighbour who likes to take petty 'revenge', might need to take their noise issues into their own hands. 

Accept that some noise will happen when the neighbours' grandkids come to visit and if you genuinely can't stand it, go out. 

Or maybe move to a retirement community where kids under 18 are NEVER allowed to visit, or go live in some isolated property away from all human life. 

Sometimes I wish I could do both because who doesn't love some peace.

Noisy kids are annoying, but so are neighbours who play loud music or threaten to call the cops on a toddler. 

I think it's time we all took a deep breath and accepted that many human traits are annoying. 

We don't have to all be besties or love it when the neighbours' kids are noisy, but we should have to show some empathy and occasionally try to get along. 

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and  TikTok.

Feature Image: Getty.

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