How we feeling today, Australia?
A collective gasp could probably be heard from the moon last night as we watched Nikki Gogan, the contestant we all thought had it in the bag, have her heart broken on national television by Richie on The Bachelor finale.
Our hearts broke alongside her and while she somehow kept it together, we ugly cried until we could see no more.
Image: Channel 10/Screenshot
But while many found Richie's decision to pick Alex surprising, there were a number of clear signs that the 28 year old from Western Australia wasn't going to win as soon as the preview for the finale was shown.
The minute we saw Nikki putting on a (gorgeous George Wu) red dress while Alex wore gold, we should have known.
Image: TenPlay
Why? It's all to do with a convincing outfit theory that has proved to be true with each season.
Let's go back to the very first season with Tim Robards.
In the finale, winner Anna Heinrich wore a gold-y cream dress while runner up Rochelle wore pastel pink.
Image: TenPlay
One point to creamy neutrals, zero to colour.
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The next season, Blake Garvey faced a choice between Sam Frost in sparkly silver or Lisa Hyde in black.
Image: TenPlay
The lighter neutral won again. (We won't talk about what happened next.)
In the third season with Sam Wood, Snezana Markoski wore a cream beaded gown while Lana Jeavons-Fellows wore a dove grey-blue chiffon-y number. It clearly had too much colour and once again the creamy neutral proved the winner.
Image: Channel 10
You see where we're going with this?
In every season of The Bachelor Australia so far, it's the girl in the creamy-silver-white-goldy neutral dress that always comes out on top. Dressed in colour? You're bound for heartbreak.
We're sobbing again already. Image: Channel 10
The finalists' makeup also gave us hints as to which way Richie was going to go.
Along with her golden dress, the focus on Alex was all about the eyes, with gold smokey shadow and a neutral lip. The no-mess makeup of a victor.
Image: TenPlay
Nikki on the other hand was given vampy makeup with a dark lip.
Image: TenPlay
The kind of lipstick that would get smeared all over Richie's face should they kiss and not make clean, romantic, Disney-worthy television. Too realistic.
It's a fact that the loser is always the first one out of the car, but we couldn't help crossing our fingers that this year they were just messing with our heads by mixing it up.
Alas, it was glaringly obvious this was not the case when we saw how different Richie's greetings were towards Nikki and Alex.
When Nikki walked down the steps, she was met with a very nervous half-grin that didn't do much to mask Richie's dread at what he had to say. He reached for her hands - and no kiss.
The dread in his eyes. Image: TenPlay
With Alex, Richie gave her a huge smile and went in for the hug AND kiss as soon as she reached him.
Image: TenPlay
Forget the build-up and tension, the result was staring us in the face the whole time.
It definitely doesn't soften the blow, but at least we could have prepared ourselves. Next time.
Image: TenPlay.
