All the stars Nikki Glaser targeted in her Golden Globes monologue.

The 2025 Golden Globe Awards are off to a roaring start. No, really, the audience was roaring with laughter thanks to host Nikki Glaser.

Following on from last year's disaster of an opening monologue courtesy of Jo Koy, Glaser was sure to be feeling the pressure. But she delivered all kinds of giggles for the crowd (and the millions of viewers at home) as she kicked off Hollywood's night of nights.

The 82nd Golden Globe Awards will celebrate film and television, with stars including Nicole Kidman, Zendaya, Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande, Timothee Chalamet and more in attendance. But aside from the red carpet, the highlight of the evening is always the opening monologue.

A comedian who is used to delivering scathing commentary in 'celebrity comedy roasts', all eyes were on Glaser. But she wasn't exactly planning on a 'bloodbath' like some of her predecessors.

"I'm not out for blood. I want everyone to have a good night," she told People Magazine ahead of her hosting gig. "I am really in service of the people that are being honoured there."

Of course, that didn't stop her from making a few clever digs.

"I really feel like I've made it. I'm in a room full of producers at the Beverly Hilton and this time all of my clothes are on. It was worth it," she began. "I'm not here to roast you. And how could I? You're all so famous, so talented, so powerful. I mean, you could really do anything — except tell the country who to vote for. But it's okay. You'll get them next time!"

Here are all the best moments from Nikki Glaser's Golden Globes monologue…

On Nicole Kidman's career…

"Nicole Kidman is here for Babygirl. That movie was so good, I give it two fingers up. This is your 20th Golden Globe nomination. I mean, incredible. Thank you so much for all of your hard work. And thank you to Keith Urban for playing guitar around the house so much that she wants to leave and make 18 movies a year."

Nicole and Keith enjoyed their mini-roast. Image: Paramount Plus. 

On Diddy…

"Zendaya you were incredible in Dune. I woke up for all of your scenes. And Challengers? That was more sexually charged than Diddy's credit card. The after-party is not going to be as good this year, but we have to move on. I know 'Stanley Tucci Freak Off' doesn't have the same ring to it."

Stanley Tucci was flabbergasted (and delighted) by the joke. Image: Paramount Plus.

On Wicked…

"I did not know much about Wicked going into this year because I had friends in high school. Everyone loved Wicked. I loved Wicked. My boyfriend loved Wicked. My boyfriend's boyfriend really loved Wicked."

"In Wicked, some people complained that the movie was ruined by people singing. And then in Joker 2, some people complained that the movie was ruined by the images on the screen and the sounds that accompanied them. I'm sorry, Joker 2. Where's their table? Oh, they're not here."

Cynthia Erivio and Ariana Grander were 'holding space' for Nikki's opening monologue. Image: Paramount Plus. 

On Ben Affleck…

"Wicked, Queer, Nightbitch — these are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms. These are some of the incredible movies nominated tonight."

On Glen Powell…

"Glen Powell, you were in everything. Twisters, Hit Man, my head when I'm having sex with my boyfriend. Thank you so much for the assist. I'll see you tonight."

On Timothee Chalamet's moustache…

"Timothee Chalamet, you have the most gorgeous eyelashes — on your upper lip. That is such a good look. You were so good and in A Complete Unknown as Bob Dylan. I read that your singing voice was so accurate that that even Bob Dylan admitted that it was absolutely horrible."

Timothee (and Kylie) enjoyed the joke at his expense. Image: Paramoutn Plus.

On celebrity tequila brands…

"I do want to remind you, if you do lose tonight, please just keep in mind that the point of making art is not to win an award. The point of making art is to start a tequila brand."

On 'cancelled' celebrities…

"This is going be a very memorable evening, and maybe not even in the way that you think. I predict five years from now, when you're watching old clips of this show on YouTube, you'll see someone in one of the crowd shots, and you'll go, 'Oh my god, that was before they caught that guy.' It could be a woman, you know, I think 100 percent of the time it's a man, but it could be a woman."

Zendaya enjoys a little giggle during the opening monologue. Image: Paramount Plus.

On Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco…

"Selena Gomez is here. Double nominee tonight. For Emilia Perez and Only Murders In The Building. She's here with her new fiance Benny Blanco. And Benny Blanco is here because of the Genie that granted him that wish. Lucky guy. I love you."

Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco were seen laughing at the joke. Image: Paramount Plus.

On the hardest-working people in showbusiness…

"I look out and I see some of the hardest working actors in show business — and by that, I mean your servers."

Feature Image: Getty.