'I thought my new partner was "the one". Then I found a notebook that blew our relationship apart.'

As told to An DeGrey.

I really thought I'd found "the one" when I met Daniel*. I'd had so many dating failures, I was on the verge of accepting the fact that I'd be a "cat lady" forever. And I was fine with that!

But then I met Daniel at a wine tasting event through friends. He was incredibly cute, loved the same things as me (camping, drinking wine, true crime docos and horses). He made me laugh and he was a gentleman. He always listened to me and I just couldn't believe my luck.

I'd lost hope that this kind of man existed.

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After six months of dating, things were going well. He invited me to his country property, which was just gorgeous; his homestead was one of those classic country homes with the wrap-around verandah and surrounded by gum trees.

I could see myself living there one day.

We'd talked about maybe moving in together one day soon, and he mentioned wanting to show me "what life with him might look like."

I took that as a good sign.

The first couple of days were lovely. We had peaceful mornings, long chats over coffee. I helped him with the animals and helped him around the house. I wanted to show him I was "useful" as well as loving everything about country life. We'd even started talking about future holidays; maybe Tasmania in spring, or a road trip up north. We'd both wanted to visit Broken Hill, so I was excited about that.

He'd casually mentioned a trip to London to introduce me to his brother. He also mentioned us getting a second dog. All those little things that make you believe someone sees you in their future. I was fully, completely in it.

It really felt like things were going fantastically, until I found the list.

He'd gone into town to grab supplies for dinner and asked me to print a recipe from his study.

The printer jammed, so I opened the top drawer to get paper, and that's when I saw it.

A notepad with his handwriting, titled: "5-Year Life Plan."

I probably shouldn't have read it, but curiosity got the better of me. I expected to see work goals, maybe renovations or something practical. Instead, what I read horrified me.

He'd mapped out every year of his life between now and his mid-40s. And right there, under

"Year 3: age 40," it said: "Break things off with Becky*. Start fresh with Amanda*."

Amanda? I had no idea who Amanda was. There were other notes too, vague but cruel:

"Don't let her get too comfortable."

"Ease out by mid-26 and fully break up by the end of '26"

I couldn't believe what I was reading! When he got back, I tried to act normal. I didn't want to confront him while I was still shaking.

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That night, I lay next to him and refused to have sex with him. My mind was wandering, how someone could plan an entire relationship like a project, with an end date already pencilled in.

The next morning, I showed him the notepad. I didn't even ask questions. Just held it out and waited. He laughed and said it was "just a joke." Something he and a mate had scribbled out while drinking one night. I asked him about Amanda and he said "Amanda? She's my brother's PA. She's a total flirt. It was nothing. You're taking this way too seriously."

But I knew that he wasn't joking. The handwriting was too neat  — it didn't look like some drunken scribbling. There were bullet points and dates. That's not boozed-fuelled banter, that's intention. And the more he tried to downplay it, the more certain I became.

The thing is, he never denied writing it, but he tried to gaslight me into thinking it didn't mean anything.

So I packed my bag and left for home. I also blocked his number that night.

A few weeks later, a mutual friend confirmed what I already suspected: Amanda was his brother's PA, and apparently she'd been "besotted with Daniel for years." No one seemed surprised.

I think what hurt me the most wasn't that he'd planned to leave me, it was that he never really saw me as a person to love long term. I was just a phase in his carefully drafted future.

I was just a temporary person on the way to someone else. It still upsets me to this day that while I was falling for him, he was already planning the exit.

But I'm proud of myself for walking away.

I deserve more than being someone's stepping stone to Amanda.

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.

The author of this story is known to Mamamia but remained anonymous for privacy purposes.

Feature: Getty.