The new Australian Bachelor has been revealed. Polygamy never looked so good.

The second season of The Bachelor Australia is coming soon (*tears of joy*) and Channel Ten has just revealed this year’s grand prize:

It’s another slashie, you guys.

Just like Tim was a chiropractor/male model/(alleged) dancer for (alleged) ladies at (alleged) hen’s parties (allegedly), Blake Garvey, 31, is a male model/auctioneer. Or real auctioneer/male model. I’m yet to decide.

Apparently he’s 196cm tall and has a voice like Barry White.

Be still my beating heart.

Channel Ten is already writing about their new toy with the kind of subtle and restrained prose only worthy of (returning) host and genius narrator Osher Gunsberg: “…there’s no doubt that he will set hearts alight with his towering height, rich deep voice and remarkable good looks, as he begins his journey for true love.”

As Season 2’s selected muscles + head, Garvey will date 24 bikini-clad women at once, until he decides on his ultimate true love by forcing her to compete in a beach and/or snow love-based Hunger Games.

Polygamy never looked so good.

Channel Ten hasn’t released an official launch date yet but here’s hoping it’s ASAP. My life has basically been a meaningless void since the end of Season 1. I may or may not sit alone in a dark room, crying and watching the footage of Ali breaking her own leg on repeat.

COME BACK TO ME OSHER! COME BACK AND GIVE ME A REASON TO LIVE!

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