There's one question we're all asking since watching Adolescence. An expert just answered it.

Since its release last month, Netflix's Adolescence seems to be all anyone is talking about.

From the one-take filming style to its gut-wrenching finale, the hit series has cemented its place in the zeitgeist as a show we'll reference for years to come.

In case you haven't watched it yet, here's your recap. The four-part series follows the chilling story of 13-year-old Jamie and his family after he is arrested on suspicion of murdering his classmate, Katie, who rejected him.

It paints a confronting picture of how young boys are being exposed to incel ideology and extreme content online. At its core, it's not a show about whether Jamie actually committed the crime, it's about the mindset that got him there.

So, what is an incel?

But first, listen to The Quicky unpack the question we're all left asking after watching Adolescence. Post continues below.

According to the Anti-Defamation League, incels are a group of heterosexual men who "blame women and society for their lack of romantic success". It involves toxic views on gender roles and resentment towards women, fuelling a cycle of frustration, isolation and, in extreme cases, violence.

They're a subset of the online misogynist community known as the "manosphere", where Andrew Tate hangs out. And they're more common than you might suspect.

Adolescence depicts misogynistic content shaping the way young boys view women and girls. This is also called "red pill" content, a concept from the film The Matrix where the red pill is taken to 'awaken' a person to the harsh truths of the world. According to the manosphere, their content awakens men to the biases against them.

We're seeing young boys stumbling across this content — drifting towards the likes of Tate — seeking community and validation. They're getting sucked into the echo chambers of toxic masculinity. And many parents don't even know it's happening. It's terrifying stuff.

After watching Adolescence, we've all been left asking one question: what can we actually do about this problem?

How do we stop our sons becoming radicalised?

We spoke to Simone Heng, a human connection specialist and award-winning author, to find out.

She told Mamamia's twice-daily news podcast The Quicky that young people are turning to these online spaces to find connection.

"Loneliness is the foundation of our addiction to the devices," she said.

"You've got to look at the different ways we're taught as genders to connect and to solve loneliness. Women are very vulnerable with their inner circle of intimate connections, we share things that hurt us, we share quite deeply.

"The studies show that men's connection is more shallow and wide. They'll have friends but they don't disclose what might be hurting them. They certainly don't disclose they're feeling unattractive and isolated."

Toxic masculinity breeds a lack of vulnerability, making young boys feel totally alone in their feelings during adolescence, Simone explained. Desperate for positivity, to feel proud, to feel validated, they go to the place they know they'll be accepted and praised.

It's just that the place praises men by tearing women down.

Watch the trailer for Adolescence. Post continues below.

When you add technology to this crisis of adolescence, it becomes a whole different ballgame, Simone says. It's completely changed the landscape of how we communicate, and increasingly younger generations face new ways they can be ostracised.

"When we go into adolescence, we're looking to form our identity based off the mirrors we see reflected back to us about ourselves from other people," Simone told The Quicky. "Social rejection for human beings, is one of our worst fears."

And of course, social rejection and bullying are rife on social media and other technology formats we use to communicate.

That's exactly why it can be so easy for young people to get sucked into "red pill" content. It lures them in with messages of self-confidence and community. It's like an anti-dote for feeling like an outsider, for feeling unworthy or unloved. And within this 'community', misogynistic messaging runs rife.

Simone knows how confronting this topic is for parents to face. But the reality is, technology isn't going anywhere.

"It's only going to be increased and with that increase is easier access to these subcultures and these places where adolescent boys and girls are looking for belonging online," she said. "I don't think denial … hiding from it, is the answer."

So really, what can we do to help our children and young people in our life? Well, it starts with giving them other outlets to be proud and feel praised.

According to Simone, parents should focus on fostering positive in-person connections with their children and maybe consider becoming more invasive.

"The internet is like the junk food of human connection," Simone said. "It's in-person connection that satiates us."

For Simone, there's also no harm in being deeply involved in your child's online life. There's a time for privacy in all things but this, she says, is not it.

"Exactly as you saw in Adolescence, the father said in the last episode, 'It's almost impossible to be 'on them' all the time.' But I think there are some benefits of watching what interactions they are having," she says. "I grew up in the Asian parenting system where the term 'helicopter parent' would be an understatement. We were surveilled."

She adds that it is important for parents to feel comfortable setting their own boundaries around technology.

"We should put our own phones away in the presence of the child, because the child is going to be mirroring the parents' behaviour. So, if you are out with the kids, and you just default to looking down at the phone, you're modelling that to the kid. That technology use is paramount over in-person connection."

Finally, we need to insulate young people against loneliness.

"Loneliness is the foundation for the addiction to the devices, so making sure they're socially well-connected [is paramount]," she says.

Part of this is diversifying and increasing the number of people your child can go to for help and advice.

"We need to raise children in villages," Simone explains. "I am a super hands-on Auntie… maybe your teenage kil will tell their Auntie something they're just not going to tell their parents."

It's certainly food for thought.

Feature image: Netflix.