When Naya Rivera's ex-husband got a call to say she was missing, he instantly collapsed.

This year marks five years since Glee star Naya Rivera's death, and for the first time, her ex-husband, actor Ryan Dorsey, feels ready to talk about it.

In an interview with People this week, Dorsey recalled the moment he learnt of Rivera's disappearance, the search for her and raising their son, Josey, nine, alone.

"I still can't really look at pictures of her, and it's still hard to talk, but I feel like I'm ready. There's just so much that happened," Dorsey told the publication.

Rivera drowned at age 33 on July 8, 2020, when swimming with her son off a rental boat in California. Shortly after, Dorsey received a call from Rivera's stepfather to tell him she was missing.

"I instantly said, 'What do you mean? She knows how to swim,'" Dorsey said.

"He said, 'They jumped in, and Josey got back on, and they're trying to find Naya.' I collapsed into a pallet of drinks. I didn't know what to think, but I feared the worst."

It took five days for search-and-rescue divers to find Rivera.

"It was the worst five days of my life," Dorsey said. "There was a fear, what if we don't find her? It was just awful."

Naya Rivera and Ryan Dorsey in 2014. Image: Getty.

Dorsey told People that their son, Josey, has remembered more details about that final day with his mum over time.

"He said that the last thing she said was his name, and then she went under, and he didn't see her anymore," Dorsey said.

"Something he's said over and over is that he was trying to find a life raft, and there was a rope, but there was a big spider on the rope, and he was too scared to throw it," he continued.

"I keep reassuring him, 'Buddy, that rope wasn't going to be long enough.' That obviously still sticks out in his head because he feels like he could have saved her."

Josey is now 9 years old. Image: Instagram/dorseyryan

Naya Rivera and Ryan Dorsey's relationship.

In 2014, Ryan Dorsey and Naya Rivera surprised fans when they tied the knot just three months after Rivera called off her engagement to rapper Big Sean.

Dorsey and Rivera previously met in 2010 and dated briefly before parting ways.

"To this day, I'll be doing interviews and people will be, like, 'Oh my God! Y'all were friends?'" Rivera wrote of her relationship with Dorsey in her 2016 memoir, Sorry Not Sorry.

"I'm, like, 'What are you talking about?'"

In 2010, Rivera and Dorsey split so that she could focus on her career, which was taking off due to her role on Glee.

In Sorry Not Sorry, Rivera shared that shortly after the split, she discovered she was pregnant, and terminated the pregnancy without informing Dorsey.

"When I made that decision [to have an abortion], I made it by myself, as I feel is the case for a lot of women, and I did not share it with Ryan at the time," Rivera wrote — adding that Dorsey was very understanding when he did learn of the pregnancy.

"He said, 'In the short time that we dated, I wish that I could have done something to make you feel like you could have trusted me with that information because I would have loved to have been there with you,'" Rivera said.

Naya Rivera and Ryan Dorsey in 2024. Image: Getty. mage: Getty.

When Rivera broke off her engagement to Big Sean (in the wake of *those* Ariana Grande rumours), Dorsey reached out to offer his condolences. The couple quickly rekindled their relationship — but it would be a turbulent one, marked with high highs and low lows.

"By the time we sort of reconnected, I was like, 'Gosh, there's a reason why you keep coming back in my life, and we keep coming back together,'" she wrote of Dorsey in 2016.

In September 2015, the pair welcomed their son Josey into the world. Fourteen months later, in November 2016, Rivera filed for divorce, but called the split off in October 2017.

In November 2017, Rivera was arrested on a domestic battery charge against Dorsey. Dorsey had called the police, alleging that Rivera was "out of control" and "getting physical". He claimed she had hit him while he was taking their son for a walk, and she was charged with misdemeanour domestic battery. But the charge was dismissed in January 2018 when Dorsey declined to move forward with prosecuting her. However, the incident marked the end of the couple's relationship.

A week after Rivera's arrest, on December 5, 2017, Rivera filed for divorce for the second time, and in June 2018, the former couple finalised their divorce.

Naya Rivera's death.

On July 13, 2020, Naya Rivera's body was recovered from Lake Piru in Southern California, five days after she was first reported missing. She was 33.

"Based on the location where the body was found, physical characteristics of the body, the clothing found on the body and the physical condition of the body... we are confident the body we found was that of Naya Rivera," Ventura County Sheriff Bill Ayub said at the time.

Rivera had been on a boating trip with Josey, who was four years old at the time. The mother-son duo had rented a pontoon boat at about 1pm, and three hours later, Rivera was discovered missing when another boater found Josey alone, asleep and adrift on the boat. Her car was found in a nearby carpark, her handbag still inside.

With no signs of foul play or suicide, Rivera's death was determined to be a tragic accidental drowning.

"[Josey] and Naya swam in the lake together," Ventura County Sheriff Bill Ayub told media. "It was during that time that her son described being helped onto the boat by Naya. He told investigators he looked back and saw her disappear under the surface of the water."

Authorities believe Rivera "mustered enough energy to get her son back on the boat, but not enough to save herself".

On the morning of Rivera's disappearance, she had posted a photo of herself and Josey on Instagram, with the caption, "Just the two of us".

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Naya Rivera (@nayarivera)

Twelve days after Rivera's body was found, Dorsey posted a tribute to his ex-wife and the mother of his son.

"This is so unfair," he began. "There's not enough words to express the hole left in everyone's hearts."

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ryan Dorsey (@dorseyryan)

Expressing his disbelief, Dorsey added, "You were just here… We were just in the back swimming with Josey the day before."

Of their relationship, he wrote, "I'm thankful for our times and our journey that brought us together and gave us the sweetest and kindest smart little boy we could ever hope for."

And for their son, Dorsey promised, "He'll never forget where he came from", adding that he would show Josey the "hundreds and probably thousands of snaps and videos" he had of them in happier times.

"Life is all about good times and bad times, but with Josey it makes the bad a little less so because a part of you will always be with us," he wrote.

"We miss you. We will always love you. Love you Meep," he added, thanking everyone for "the overwhelming love and support" and reminding everyone that "time on Earth is precious and you just never know… what could happen.

"Hold your loved ones close, and cherish the times you have with those you care about," he concluded.

Ryan and Josey's life now.

In September 2024, Dorsey posted a carousel to Instagram in celebration of Josey's ninth birthday.

"Nine!?" he wrote in the caption. "Where is the time!?"

Watch: Ryan included a sweet video of himself and Josey to celebrate his son's birthday. Post continues below. 

The carousel featured plenty of snaps of the father/son duo laughing, playing and enjoying their time together.

"I love you so much to all the moons and back — and I'm proud to be your Dad," he continued. "I love your curiosity about the world, your creativity, imagination, and your ambition to turn something as simple as cardboard into a costume or cardboard into a robot.

"Keep dreaming and learning and stop growing so big! I know the day of my kisses on the cheek and the days of holding my hand are numbered!"

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ryan Dorsey (@dorseyryan)

It seems that Josey may be eager to follow in his actor parents' footsteps, too. In October 2024, Dorsey celebrated Josey's second production with Children's Theatre of Charleston.

"We're all so proud of you Josey!" he wrote of his son's performance in Roald Dahl's Willy Wonka. "Keep being brave, taking risks, exploring, playing, and living your best creative life!"

Meanwhile, Dorsey continues to act as well, and has appeared in episodes of Yellowstone, Chicago P.D. and Magnum P.I in recent years. He will soon be appearing as Frank Whales in an upcoming episode of the CBS hit Tracker. 

Two years ago, Dorsey made the decision to move himself and Josey back to West Virginia after feeling like he was "getting nothing for Josey's future" in L.A.

"I'm a single parent, I'm the only one earning money for Josey," he said to People. "Everyone thinks that if she was successful, and if I'm on TV, that you have a bunch of money, but no one really knows the financial situation. I didn't leave L.A. because we were just sitting on a bunch of money."

Outside of his work, Dorsey claims that Josey has actually been encouraging him to date.

"It's sad but sweet that he's been telling me for years that he wants a brother and a stepmom," Dorsey explained. "Expecting someone to sign up for my life and his life, it's not easy. I think he's easy, but all the variables, it's a lot to ask from someone."

In January this year, Dorsey shared an emotional poem in tribute to Rivera.

"Happy Heavenly Birthday," Dorsey wrote. "Five birthdays since you've been gone."

In the poem, Dorsey wrote of "thoughts every day about how it went wrong", and "visions of happiness and sadness" from their time together.

"Fifteen years flash by when I hear a certain song," he wrote. "I shake my head often still in disbelief, they say time heals all, but all is not grief."

Of their son, Josey Dorsey — who he calls "JoJo Binx" in the poem — Dorsey wrote that he was "doing the best" he could.

"If you're reading this, be kind to the ones you love," he added. "You'll never know when you give your last hug."

This article was originally published in January 2024 and has since been updated with new information. 

Feature image: Instagram/@dorseyryan.