Josephine posted in a nanny Facebook group looking for work. Within minutes, the pile-on began.

Don't be too good-looking, because it will draw the attention of the husband.

Don't be too unattractive, because that won't fit the family's aesthetic.

Don't be too old, because you won't be able to keep up with the children.

Don't be too skinny — or too big. Don't be blonde, don't be a brunette, don't have piercings, don't have dreadlocks. Oh, and if you have tattoos? Forget about it.

Just don't be too anything.

These are the unrealistic expectations placed on nannies. It begs the question, 'What is a nanny supposed to look like?'

In the largely unregulated world of nannies, au pairs, mother's helpers and babysitters, there's an unspoken rule book that prospective employees have to adhere to, lest they miss opportunities. It's a cutthroat business.

Watch: This Glorious Mess hosts Tegan Natoli and Annaliese Todd discuss if they could delete Instagram off their phone to get time back. Post continues after video.

One Sydney-based childcare educator found this out the hard way.

In January, 24-year-old Josephine Hewitt joined the popular Facebook Group Sydney Nannies, Au Pairs, Babysitters and Family Helpers. She had recently moved to the Cronulla area, and was looking for casual work. As a passionate and qualified childcare professional who had been working in the field since 2019, Josephine was excited about finding a family to help look after their children.

She typed out a post detailing her experience, included a picture of herself and hit the upload button.

"You would scare my kids," read one comment on Josephine Hewitt's Facebook group post. Image: Supplied.

Then minutes later came a ping. She opened the comments, only to be met with the vile, hateful words jumping out at her.

"You would scare my kids," one comment read.

"I wouldn't leave my kids with someone that looks like a crackhead," said another.

Josephine was immediately filled with frustration and sadness. How could a perfect stranger say such hurtful things about her, based only on the way she looks?

A Facebook group dedicated to helping childcare professionals connect with families might sound like a safe space, but the vitriolic pile-on kept coming.

For hours, Josephine was bombarded with notifications, forced to defend herself from the hateful comments before admins stepped in and moderated the discriminatory posts. Even then, she felt disheartened, and considered deleting the post all together.

Perhaps she'd get more work if she complied with the expectation that nannies need to look a certain way to be considered. Took out her piercings. Covered her tattoos. Removed the playful accessories.

Changed who she is.

Or maybe, people wouldn't ever be able to see beyond her appearance. Maybe her qualifications, experience and passion weren't enough to change the system.

And then… ping.

"I'm sorry that you've had to undergo this sort of harassment when you are merely just looking for work," wrote one user. "Anyone would be lucky to have you with your qualifications and experience."

"My daughter would adore you," wrote another.

"Kids love adults that are expressive and creative!" said one poster.

Suddenly, the offers started flooding in, parents messaging her to discuss work opportunities.

"It made me feel so nice," Josephine recalled. "They were just apologising and saying, 'I'm so sorry that you're going through this,' and explaining to me that they would be so honoured for me to look after their children."

Despite the harassment and discrimination, Josephine was able to line up some amazing babysitting jobs, and has connected with parents who have applauded her authenticity and commitment to the profession.

Speaking to Mamamia about the incident, Josephine said that it wasn't the first time she's been criticised for her appearance while working in the childcare industry.

She has often received comments saying she "doesn't fit the criteria" of a nanny and educator because she is "all covered in tattoos" and "wear makeup, either".

Despite this, Josephine had never faltered in her belief that she is a wonderful child care professional.

"I am quite expressive [with] what I wear," she said. "I often wear little polar ears or a little tail. That's why I love working with children. Children love to be around someone like that, to see an adult express their playful side."

A Fijian-Aboriginal woman, Josephine said that she did wonder if some of the derogatory comments about her looks came from a place of racism or insecurity. Regardless, she was committed to taking the high road.

"I am very proud of who I am," she said. "I've done a lot of work to be the woman I am. So I guess I was just really feeling for this lady (who made the initial comments) as well. I felt sad for her."

Of course, Josephine isn't the first nanny who has had to endure extremely vocal opinions from the public. Stereotypes will tell you that you should never hire a good-looking nanny or your husband will wander. 

In a previous Mamamia article, we spoke to Katie Bunton who opened up about the surprising commentary she got from people after she hired a nanny to help care for her twins.

"The other thing [people have commented on] was the whole controversy of me bringing a female into my home and people saying I was asking for my husband to cheat on me. That was really intense," Katie said.

"I didn't expect that. I expected people to judge me and say, 'Oh you're lazy, what are you, going and getting facials?' but it was about the fact she's a young woman."

If Josephine and Katie's experiences are anything to go by, it would appear that people are often more concerned with a nanny's looks, rather than finding the most qualified person who is the best fit for their family. 

At the end of the day, isn't the quality of care paramount?

In an unregulated industry, casual nannies can be discriminated against and otherwise treated unfairly.

When asked what she has learnt from this experience, Josephine said she has been buoyed by the positive outpouring from strangers. The encouraging comments drowned out the hate, and she feels more confident in her skills than ever.

Her message to other nannies? 

"Don't hide behind a facade of how we're supposed to look or how we're supposed to be as educators," she said. "We should just be our true, authentic selves, and the right families will come into our lives."

We're quick to school children on not judging a book by its cover, but perhaps we all need a refresher on that eternally important lesson, too.

Read more of our nanny stories:

• Nannies told us the most bizarre requests they've had from parents.

• Modern Etiquette: 'I'm a nanny, these are 10 things I wish I could tell the families I work for.'

• 'The difference between a nanny, babysitter, and au pair, from a mum who's considered all three.'

Feature image: Walt Disney.