An inspiring mum tells: My daughter, the odd one out.

Having a child who marches to the beat of her own drum can be a challenge. What do you do when your child just, doesn’t fit in? Do you try and steer them towards normality or let them be? Jacky Barker writes…

My daughter is an individual.  She dances to the beat of her own drum.

I sometimes ask myself why my child is the odd one out?  But other times I applaud her individuality.  It is not something you can teach a child.

This is my journey in accepting my daughter’s individuality.

When I was growing up my mother was excellent at involving us in all activities but we never did anything musical or dance related.  I really wanted my daughter to embrace ballet and dance and to meet other little girls.  We enrolled in the local dance academy and started doing Tiny Tots ballet.  The big end of year concert approached.  All of the Tiny Tots Ballerinas were doing Under the Sea from the little Mermaid.  They were all dressed as tiny adorable little Mermaids in a tutu, except for one, my daughter.

She did not want to be a mermaid she want to be a crab.

Her costume was a bright orange (Guantanamo Bay Orange) jumpsuit with a big lump on the back.  I was devastated.  Finally it was the night of the big dance concert and the MC announced that in the 18 years that Miss Rebecca had produced dance concerts, she had never seen a tiny tot who wanted to be a crab.  The concert started.  There were 40 mermaids on stage and one crab.  Guess which Tiny Tot stole the show – the crab!!  My daughter knew what she was doing.

Over the years we have seen countless other examples of her individuality:

• Her first Book Week: Everyone was a fairy and she was Pete the Sheep;
• Her last Book Week: She wanted a Harry Potter costume.  Did she want to be Hermione, Harry or even Ron?  No she wanted to be Dumbledore (do you know how hard it is to find Dumbledore costumes);
• Concert Band: All the girls played the flute and she played the Saxophone (please note: There is a good reason to play the flute. A Saxophone is really heavy for a year three child);
• Sport: The only girl in the AFL team;
• Reading: She did not read Fairy Books.  It was books like Diary of a Wimpy Kid or other adventure based books;
• Christmas Presents: She did not ask for dolls.  Her Christmas wish list was Lego or remote control cars;
• Year Six Graduation Party: All the girls turned up in party dresses.  She she wore shorts.

When she was about 10 I stopped trying to force her to conform.  I realised that I was trying to live vicariously through my child, trying to get her to do things I used to do and that others were doing.  The problem was really with me, and there was no problem with her decisions.  In fact I think I should have done more to let her know she was a trendsetter.  Instead I worried that when she went to high school she would be alienated for being different.

Now, I am happy that I do not have a “me too” child?  I never hear from my daughter the words “Everyone Else Is doing it”.   I love the fact that she is an individual.

Is your child an free thinker? Have you learned any tricks to protect them from criticism?

Jacky Barker writes at Tips for Mums.