I take no offence at the hair I have being labelled "mum hair".

A couple of hairdressers in New York told The New York Times that “mommys” have a particular hair cut and it’s not flattering at all. It’s the beauty equivalent of the “mom jean”. It’s like these creatures called mums have given up. Thrown in the towel and are trying NOT TO BE SEXY. All because they’ve opted for a kind of bob that’s shorter at the back (and maybe even a little layered) and longer at the front.

What? Women trying NOT TO BE SEXY AND YOUNG 24/7? Women wanting to chop off long hair? Women having babies and then, maybe, going out one day and getting a haircut? This is outrageous. Call the producers of a reality TV program. We have a whole new world of Geordie Shore but with mums. In share houses. Trying to get some sleep. Looking for a bit of space. Hitting each other over the head with dog-eared copies of The Happiness Project for that last sachet of peppermint tea. And, God forbid, no doubt wearing culottes while they gossip about who buys too many plastic toys. Culottes. Massive head shake.

The recent 'Mom hair' skit on Saturday Night Live. Image via NBC Universal. 

See, mums today are meant to be yummy. Number one priority yumminess. And not in a Ben and Jerry's ice cream kind of way. They are meant to seek yumminess from their babies first breath.

Juan Carlos Maciques, a stylist at the Rita Hazan salon in Manhattan wants the kind of people in this world who have babies (I think they're called women) to keep their eyes on the main game. He sees this kind of follicular abomination all the time. And really it's just a symbol for letting go. Not being good enough. Having a flabby tummy and all that jiggly business. “The first thing new moms want to do is cut their hair off. They’re feeling lousy about their bodies, and they just want to get some sense of self again. But, usually, to cut off your hair is a big mistake.”

Mia Freedman asks her hairdresser what the secret is to a great haircut. Post continues below...

He suggests women wait for a year before they do anything drastic like drive to Puerto Rico for a threesome cut a few inches off their hair. He told The New York Times, "You might not be at the weight you really want to be yet. And the truth is, long hair can be a little bit of a distraction. When you go short, you are more exposed. There’s less, literally, to hide behind.”

That's right. We are all in hiding due to the shame of our post-birth bodies. Waiting to emerge as soon as we can, chrysalis-like into the sun looking sexy at a party in Ibiza. It's not at all about the fact that our hair length and hair style may be one of the few things we can control after having a baby. Or that hair is something a new mum can play with when she's just had a baby, and she needs to remember what playing is about in those early days and long nights. Or that it is hair not War and Peace.

Kenna from the Kennaland salon in Brooklyn offers some hope to mums about the bob. It can still be youthful because mums need to keep their eyes on the main game: being yummy. Forget the children. They're back in the reality TV share house in a cage fight with Lego, Tiny Teddies and some bunches of Kale (because there's always a #cleanliving mum in the mix). The producers are in heaven.

“There’s quite a lot you can do with the jaw-length bob. We’re encouraging moms to embrace their natural texture and get that wild, youthful feeling back again.” Kenna says changing hair colour is something he would encourage new mums to do to get back their "kick". Because all youth is lost when you become a mum. Or is that all hope is lost? Or all hair is lost? The reaction has been fierce. The Twitter storm (in a teacup with sleepy-time tea for mums) has unleashed gems such as this:

@nytimes WHAT COULD BE WORSE THAN BEING A MOTHER WHO HAS HAIR — ChiNurse (@ChiNurse) June 21, 2016

@nytimes Beyond being insulting, this article also has literally no suggestions on "what to do about it," other than feel shitty #momhair — Sarah Kelber (@sarahkelber) June 22, 2016

@nytimes This article SUCKS, try being a Mom first, then tell me how much you think of your hair ???? — •Nice & Awkward• (@heatherann2573) June 22, 2016

I respect the passion of the twitter warriors but really, should any mother be offended by people talking about their hair who so obviously don't have a clue?

Do Maciques or Kenna from Kennaland (see how I have said nothing about this because I am taking the higher ground) know what any woman thinks when she has a baby? In that huge, life-changing year after she turns from a person to a mum in an instant does anyone know what a woman is thinking (including other mums)?

No.

Every woman has her own unique, beautiful, terrifying, hard, wonderful, joy-filled, tear-filled journey.

Every woman changes. Even if she doesn't want to change.

Her whole world turns upside down and her priorities do a Country and Western dance in her heart and her head and they end up scattered in a completely different, fabulous, sometimes conflicting order. A mother's hair-style comes down the Who Am I list after, I don't know, keeping a whole little human being alive.

I have a bob and I've been one of those women, who after the birth of a baby has changed her hair: had it cut shorter, dyed it, you name it. I did it because I'm still me, despite being a mum. I didn't do it to be youthful or sexy. I did it because I could.

Jacqueline with chestnut hair and baby number three (her dad was upset she lost the blonde) Image supplied. 

I take no offence at hair, the hair I have, being labelled "mom hair" because I'm the one that knows. I know I can still care about how I look - and I can also care about much more important things.

I know I can do so much all at the same time. Deep love, commitment, sacrifice, awe, privilege, fun, vanity.

I'd like to see the cast from Geordie Shore do that.