Mother's Day needs to go have a good lie down.

Now that the dust has settled on Mother's Day and the crumbs have been swept away where they belong — at the bottom of the bed — I want to gently ask if the whole day can just go and have a bit of a lie down?

I'm not against the intention behind Mother's Day at all. A woman named Anna Jarvis helped make it an event in America in 1908, to honour her own mum, Ann. Ann had lost almost all of her 12 children to early childhood diseases and had fought for their prevention.

From there, it has snowballed into a mad dash for overpriced bouquets and gift purses, but its central message, that "motherhood is mostly a thankless job that's also intrinsic to society's well-being, so thank you", is a noble one.

It's just all these platitudes, simpering cards and "Save 5 per cent off a rose gold face razor for mum!" (I swear I saw that). As well as Mother's Day school breakfasts, self-serving Instagram posts and half-cooked eggs in bed? You can have it. 

Watch: Celebs Celebrating Mother's Day. Post continues below.

Like, why am I doing all the work if this is meant to be a celebration for me?

Maybe it's because it's not really a celebration at all. Maybe it's a way for society to absolve itself of the guilt we feel for leaving mums to essentially navigate this most important role alone.

Because, hear me out: a bunch of chrysanthemums won't change the fact that mums still carry more of the mental load. You know, haircuts, dentists, doctors, sports, excursions, party planning, play dates and lunches. It's changing, thank goodness, but it's still mostly the mum's responsibility.

Mums in heterosexual relationships also tend to do more chores and childcare, even when they work full-time outside the home.

"Oh, but please enjoy your ice-pink slippers and gift card for a spa session because we know it's a labour of love, hun!"

Is it any wonder that this year, so many mums are celebrating themselves? Oh, sure, they've said it's all about their kids and the privilege of raising them, etc.

But almost everyone I know, and many that I don't know, have posted loving tributes to … their own mothering! 

 Instagram posts on Mother's Day used to be about everyone's mum, then it was about everyone's mum as a hot, young woman before kids obliterated her beauty and she was, like, a real person!

Then there were the sensitive shout-outs to people who had recently lost their mothers or who had suffered a miscarriage. A thoughtful idea that slowly got out of hand when we started including "Anyone who has shown any type of mothering to any sentient being at any time on Earth."

Uhm, I think that's just called caring? 

Well, anyway, "stuff that!", said these mothers. Here comes a tribute to the best mum I know — me!

And yeah, I get it. Because, I too am sick of performing modest surprises at it all. I'm like Taylor Swift at the Grammys at this point. "Oh, I wonder why I'm being woken up so early by the smell of burnt toast?! Could it really be that little old me is being celebrated??" Look, the cards from my own kids who, at 11 and nine, are thanking me for the small stuff, melt my heart.

If my husband remembers, I get flowers, (Let the reader understand I did not receive flowers this year).

But usually, what my husband does is take the kids out somewhere for most of the day, leaving me to, well, have a good lie down. Because I'm exhausted and it's not just from parenting. It's to do with all the Mother's Day stuff I had to do in the lead up.

Mother's Day breakfasts at school, for example. Why am I getting up earlier than normal to sit in a hall with some cakes and coffee straight from an oversized urn? Guys, that's not a gift to me.

Then I have to shop for my own mum and I have to buy dishes for the family of origin gathering because I hate cooking. And thank Mother Gaia I do because there are too many women cooking too much on that day anyway!

Now I'm fortunate because my mother-in-law (who is a delight) lives in another country. But there are women I know who also have to buy something for their mothers-in-law because their husband is hopeless. Then she expresses her hatred for the gift and you wonder why you bothered!

Even if you didn't spend time and money on gifts for mum and mother-in-law, sometimes spending "quality time" with one of your least favourite, most judgemental people in your social circle is stressful enough.That's not a day off, okay?

All in all, Mother's Day is actually a bummer. So let's give it a rest next year, hey? And give mums a rest, too.

Feature Image: Mamamia