10 women on the moment they realised their mother was a narcissist.

There's a strange kind of grief that comes with realising the person who raised you, who was meant to love you unconditionally, might not have been capable of it.

When your mother is a narcissist, the world is always tilted slightly in her direction. It's her needs first. Her emotions louder. Her version of events unquestionable.

The moment of realisation can come suddenly, or slowly, like fog lifting. It can be prompted by motherhood, therapy, burnout, or simply one too many conversations that leave you feeling like the villain in your own story.

Watch: 10 signs your parent is a narcissist. Post continues after video.

We asked women to share, anonymously or not, the moment they realised their mother (or mother figure) was a narcissist. Here's what they told us.

"I had postnatal depression and she told me to 'snap out of it' and stop being selfish. I realised she wasn't going to show up for me in the way I needed, because she never had."

"I was the parent in our relationship, always managing her emotions. One day my therapist said, 'You were never mothered,' and I felt it in my bones."

"She told my boyfriend at the time that I was 'a lot to deal with' and that he should 'run while he could.' I was 19. I still think about it."

"Whilst we have a good relationship now — thanks to many years of therapy and me developing skills to set boundaries — when my father died (whom she was estranged from) I, the eldest, had to prepare all things for his funeral. She referred to his funeral as the 'Insert my name here show'. This was just the last straw before going no contact and healing."

"When I had my own children and learnt how I'd never talk to and treat my kids the way my Mum spoke to and treated me. I was well into adulthood when I learnt what narcissism was."

"Not my mother but my mother-in-law. When I was halfway through pregnancy, we were told that I needed additional tests because the baby may have a chromosome disorder similar to Down Syndrome called Trisomy 18 (Edward Syndrome). My husband phoned and told his mum. After they finished the call, she phoned back and asked to speak to me. I thought she would say something kind, but instead she said, 'This is inherited from your side of the family because we don't have anyone like that in our family'. That was the first thing, but whenever I mention all the things she says and does to people, many have said she sounds like a narcissist."

"It was 10 years ago; I came across an article that really resonated with me. I was not familiar with the idea of narcissism, and yet it opened my eyes as to what was going on in my family. I have read a lot since, have gone no-contact with my sister, and low-contact with mum."

"Not my mother but my family. I burned-out and hit rock-bottom that I turned to deep inner healing and realised most of my issues were rooted in childhood and being raised by a narcissistic father. We were always told, and so a big part of me was conditioned to believe, that we were 'lucky' to have him and the external things he provided for us (a lot of opportunities such as moving us away from South Africa to Australia, always lived in beautiful houses, plenty of money and the opportunities that came with that, etc.)," shared personal growth coach Sharné Lategan.

"During my inner healing period, it became clear that I had suffered not only the physical abuse my mind remembered, but also severe emotional neglect that I was too young to understand the consequences of at the time. The gaslighting, stone-walling, invalidation and hours I had to spend sitting inside our small bathroom when I spoke up (or 'back-chatted' as he referred to it), all emotional experiences that led to deep inner wounds within me. Showing up in the world from such a wounded inner state of being, was what caused me to think, feel and act in ways that only re-affirmed the cycles. I am incredibly grateful for the inner-healing work I did, and the profound changes it has had on my life."

"My mum always needs to be the centre of attention. One Christmas, my aunty got me a bike and my mum sulked in the kitchen for the rest of the day because 'no one got her anything nice'. I didn't realise how ridiculous it was until years later."

"When I told my mum I wanted to be a writer, she laughed and said, 'You'll never make money from that. Pick something realistic.' I spent years shrinking my dreams to avoid her ridicule. It wasn't until my own daughter told me she wanted to be an artist, and I found myself cheering her on, that I realised just how much it had affected me."

Feature Image: Getty*

*Stock photo used for illustrative purposes only. Not representative of any individuals mentioned.