"My mother-in-law is living with us, but I want her out of my house."

Hi darlings,

This week’s Ask Bossy dilemma comes from a very stressed out woman whose mother-in-law has moved in with her and her husband. She lost her job. She’s not paying rent. And she’s not helping out around the house. So how can they get her to leave?

Only Bossy knows….

Dear Bossy,

My mother-in-law has been living with us for six weeks now. She lost her job and couldn’t afford to pay her ridiculous amount of rent. She’s in complete denial of her situation. Ever since she left my husbands dad 12 years ago, she’s always had people giving her cars, getting her jobs, helping her out. So much so that she just expects everyone to do things for her and she’s never grateful for any of it. Since she moved in she hasn’t once made us dinner. She only does her dishes, not ours, and she doesn’t help out with anything around the house. Our house is tiny and she’s living in my sons room whose two and a half years old. Which means he sleeps in our room in our bed every night. Her 17-year-old daughter is also staying with us. Her presence is draining. And I’m sick of having her in our space all the time. When is it okay for me to ask her to leave?

Yikes.

As Bossy says. This is serious. 

I do have to say that your mother-in-law has no income, and no home. So, sadly for you, you have a role and responsibility here, because she doesn’t have anywhere to go. If you’re saying she is homeless, she’s homeless. I get what you’re saying, she’s a bit of a pain. She’s been entitled. And she hasn’t worked very hard to change her situation and expected a lot from other people. But the situation is still there. She doesn’t have anywhere to live.

What is your husband doing in all of this?

Meanwhile, Monz has some advice on how to get your mother-in-law to like you:

This situation will go on forever unless you change it. The solution is not to say ‘you have to get out lady,’ because you do have responsibility to the older people in your life. You do have responsibility to parents in your life. The other thing is, you might think she’s being entitled and has just accepted stuff from other people – but people sometimes just don’t know how to get their sh*t together.
So, the only way you are going to get out of this now is with a plan. You and your husband need to sit down first and discuss what you are going to do. You need a timeline and you need to work out how you pretty much are going to direct this ship.  You need to direct the ship to get her out of there because she is not going to direct it herself. She doesn’t know how or has no desire to do that.

Got a life dilemma you need help with? email askbossy@mamamia.com.au or dial up the pod phone: 02 8999 9386

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