wellness

'I was my own worst critic, until I discovered the "Most Days" theory.'

I had big plans for my day off. I was going to get up early and go for a stunning morning walk, cook myself a big breakfast, do my taxes and clean the house, before meeting up with some friends. You know, the kind of day where you really grab life by the balls, and all that jazz.

Instead, I slept through my alarm. I missed the 'morning' part of my morning walk, breakfast turned into lunch, and I ditched the tax thing entirely. I did, however, see my friends. Shoutout to FOMO!

Later, I found myself wallowing in the lost hours of potential productivity, kicking myself (along with the invention of a snooze button) for the hours I had wasted. I only have two days of the weekend to catch up on me-time and life admin, and here I was pouring time down the drain like a billionaire with private jet fuel.

Watch: BIZ hosts discuss burnout and the micro-retirement trend. Post continues after video.


Video via Mamamia

How stupid. How reckless. How lazy! If you picture a sickly Victorian woman swooning onto a fainting couch, the image would almost be as dramatic as my inner monologue.

This self-chastising went on for the next few days, particularly as the work week came and went, and my taxes remained undone. Then, I came across a theory that made me shoot up from my metaphorical fainting couch.

It was called the "Most Days" theory. Created by author Bree Groff, the "Most Days" theory is the idea "that we derive enormous benefit from the habits we practice most days".

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In other words, "we can lower the benchmark of success".

She gives an example: "Most days I wake up early enough to cook my daughter a lovely breakfast. On the other days? She grabs a banana and life goes on.

"This is the radical concept I've come to adopt: I get to decide what 'enough' is."

As I read through the theory, I thought back to weekends prior. I had gone on walks. I made a bunch of food. I cleaned the house. I had not done my taxes… but I digress.

Most days, I would say, I was doing alright. So, why was I fixated on the one day I didn't meet my self-imposed expectations?

I'll tell you why: toxic productivity. That 'I'll sleep when I'm dead' mentality that makes me egregiously ambitious, and inevitably self-hating when my body refuses to acquiesce.

Toxic productivity is "an unhealthy compulsion to be productive at all times, often at the expense of our mental and physical well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life", as per the Harvard Business Review.

In today's world, if you're not squeezing every last drop out of every hour, whether it be work, admin, exercise, social life, you're simply not doing enough!!

Don't you know that we only get one life? Did you learn nothing from the #YOLO merchandise that monopolised the shelves of Supré and Jay Jays in 2012… all while 'Call Me Maybe' and 'Gangnam Style' caused irreversible damage to our ear drums??

It's like the great poet Usher said (also in 2012): "Got one life, just live it, just live it". (As a sidenote, I'm starting to think that 2012 is the root of this toxic productivity culture).

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Last year, a global study with 12,000 participants found that 82 per cent of the workforce was at risk of burnout, and cited excessive workload, exhaustion, and financial strain as the main culprits, as per a Mercer report.

Yep, we're all knackered. And expect the best of ourselves in all areas, at all times. But it's not sustainable. If (and when) we fail to meet this impossible benchmark, we're inevitably engulfed in shame and guilt. How, oh how, could we wait precious seconds in this short life? #YOLO!

The "Most Days" theory gives us the grace that toxic productivity withholds on days that we aren't performing at 100 per cent. As humans, we're not unflappable, we have our limits, and it's important to acknowledge them and take respite when we need to.

Groff goes on to refer to the idea of "suffering twice" (like I did when I 1. slept through my alarm and then 2. spiralled about it for an hour).

"We suffer more in imagination than in reality. We make things worse by re-playing it in our heads," said the author.

The "Most Days" theory, however, allows us to "restart healthy habits with hope and not shame".

Sure, I missed my morning walk. But I got a sleep in. How refreshed I'll be for my morning walk tomorrow! See, isn't that a much better monologue than my dramatic Victorian alter ego?

Most days, I show up. That's all that matters. But someone, for the love of God, please do my taxes for me.  

Feature Image: Supplied

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