It’s a sound I will never be able to erase from my memory. And maybe that’s a good thing.
I can still remember the sound…
There’s a moment from my childhood that has stayed with me since it happened. Sometimes it will wake me up at night. Sometimes my mind will drift off and I’ll find myself back at that moment, standing on that balcony as a seven-year-old. Sometimes, like right now, it will just be a passing thought before I focus on something else.
But I’m unlikely to ever forget it.
It was a celebration, I know that. Towards the end of the year, just before or after New Year’s. I was standing on a balcony at a hotel, watching a party across the street. It was one of those balcony parties, where the entire building gets involved – every level.
There was a couple who caught my eye a few storeys up. They were talking when I started watching them. It seemed like they were in the middle of a heated argument. I can remember my eyes almost zooming in on them as they spoke. I’ll never know what they were talking about or why I chose to focus on them, but I did.
Read more: “I’m slowly experiencing true grief for the first time.”
All at once, yet unbearably slowly, the man who was standing on the balcony with a woman only moments before wasn’t there any more. I heard a scream, high-pitched, coming from the woman, and then a sound that I know I will never forget.