Modern Etiquette: The 23 dating and relationship rules you should know.

Well, well, well.

It's been a fair few years since we were in the deep dark depths of navigating the pandemic, and guess what? People are still confused about how we're supposed to behave in social situations (guilty!).

Luckily, Mamamia's Modern Etiquette Guide series is here to help you figure it out. From workplace dos and don'ts to what the rules are for a wedding in 2025, we've covered it all.

On today's agenda, we're talking dating and relationships, because in 2024 it's a bit of a minefield. So take our hand as we gently guide you in your romantic endeavours.

Don't date a friend's ex.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and starting off with an obvious one… I mean it is obvious, right? RIGHT?

Watch: Black Cat / Golden Retriever relationship theory. Post continue below.

Don't sh*t where you sleep.

I might get in trouble with this one because I know many people who are in relationships this way. Don't date a colleague, don't date your boss, don't date your neighbour, don't date your dad's best friend. Basically, don't date anyone where if the relationship doesn't work out, it has the potential to mess up your entire life.

Stop dating people who look exactly like you.

It's weird and honestly… egotistical. I will be submitting your couple photos to the Siblings or dating Instagram page. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Take turns planning dates.

It's only fair. If you're interested, then show it by planning the dates. If they're interested, ask them to prove it by planning the dates.

Take flowers or a gift when meeting the parents for the first time.

If you're meeting your lover's parents for the first time, definitely get them a gift. Flowers, chocolate, and wine are all great options. It also gives your hands something to do if you're not sure what type of greeters they are. There's nothing worse than going in for a hug when they go in for a handshake. Use your gift as a shield to protect your awkwardness.

If one person is the cook, the other needs to find their role ASAP.

Especially if that person doesn't really like cooking, it's just the role they fell into in the relationship. If you're also not willing to cook, maybe you can be the grocery buyer. You can also give them a break every now and then and take them out for dinner.

Take turns travelling on dates if you live far apart.

Yes, I know there's nothing worse than navigating your way back home after a date. They feel the same. If you live far apart, plan some dates close to your place and some close to theirs, so one person isn't constantly going out of their way every time.

It's not exclusive until it's exclusive.

I'll say it again— it's not exclusive until it's exclusive. Do not presume anything until you have the (brace yourselves) "what are we" chat. Yes, it's cringe and awkward and might leave you in a puddle of tears, but it'll save you so much time and emotional damage in the long run.

Don't play games.

It's 2024. We're not ghosting, we're not playing hard to get, we're not reading minds. Just say what you want and encourage them to do the same, Goddammit.

Don't ignore the red flags (even if it's your favourite colour).

Hey, yes I'm talking to you. I see you trying to scroll over this rule. Come on! You deserve much better, we both know this.

Don't look down upon situationships.

Hear me out… situationships can be fun. You can live your life while also going on fun dates, have deep conversations and great sex with someone you're attracted to, and you can do this with… as many people as you want (refer to: it's not exclusive until it's exclusive). It is harder if you're dating to look for a partnership, but if you're dating for fun and to meet new and exciting people… embrace the situation.

Take turns compromising.

Relationships come with compromises, whether we like it or not (we don't). Make sure those compromises are talked over and made clear between each other. If one person makes all the compromises, the relationship will never work.

There's a time and place to have the "ex" talk.

Spoiler alert, that time and place is NOT the first date. Take it slow and open up when you're ready. Don't do an emotional dump and don't call your ex "crazy".

Just text them back already.

Or will throw your phone into the river, you heathen.

Yes you can b*tch about their family, but there are rules.

According to my colleagues, "For every one time you b*tch to them about their family, you have to complain about your own twice." I like this rule, and I'm going to implement it.

Make a list of non-negotiables before getting into a relationship.

This is for my single people. What about your lifestyle would you hate to change if you got into a relationship? Think about where you live, how often you see your friends and family, what you do for work, and what your hobbies are. If certain things are non-negotiables for you, make them clear at the beginning. Yes, you could change your mind later on, but don't go into a relationship without discussing your priorities as an individual first.

No PDA— ever.

I just want to read my book in a park at peace without some weird couple dry-humping next to a tree that a dog peed on seconds before. It's not a good look. Holding hands— fine, a little hello/goodbye peck— fine. Touching tongues???? Absolutely not.

Listen to your friends when they give their opinion about your partner.

They see things that you don't.

Be aware of your other relationships.

Getting into a romantic relationship is fun, new and exciting. Keep an eye on how you behave in your other relationships. Are you seeing your friends less often? Do you miss phone calls with your mum? These relationships are as important as your new one and these are the relationships that will be there to hold you up if it doesn't work out with your new partner.

Don't play cupid too early.

So, the guy you're dating has a single friend that would be a perfect match for your single friend. Ask yourself, are they really a perfect match or are they both just two single people? Tread lightly around playing matchmaker in the early stages of dating because maybe you're right, maybe they will get along, maybe they'll get married and have children. You, however, realise that you're not in the perfect match and now your ex is forever in your life because you set up your best friends. Great for your besties… not so great for the "getting over them" phase.

No public arguments.

Please don't yell in front of me. And yes, we can tell if you've just had a fight before meeting us as well. Newsflash, the awkward silences and death glares can be seen by EVERYONE at the Korean BBQ table Ashley and Tim, please leave.

No, your spouse isn't automatically invited just because you are.

Your bestie is having a close friend's birthday dinner? Oh! Great. Just letting you know that your partner isn't their close friend as well. Some of you keep forgetting that. Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean you have to do everything together. You're both still individuals who can 100% go to birthday parties by yourself.

Want more modern etiquette guides? Click below:

Modern Etiquette: The 22 share house rules you need to send to your roommate immediately.

Modern Etiquette: The 23 workplace rules you're definitely breaking.

Modern Etiquette: The 38 things we all really need to stop doing at weddings.

Modern Etiquette: The 21 group chat rules you're definitely breaking.

Modern Etiquette: The 26 plane and travel rules we wish everyone would follow.

Modern Etiquette: 23 do's and don'ts when you visit someone's home.

Feature image: Canva.