'I'm an etiquette expert. These are the rules to follow when gift giving in 2025.'

Whether it's finding the perfect housewarming present or the tightrope of gifting for your in-laws, the art of giving feels more delicate than ever. There are just So. Many. Options.

Do you go big, or keep it small? Are gift cards impersonal, or a lifesaver? And don't get us started on Secret Santa (whoever thought mixing gifts with office politics was a good idea has clearly never received a scented candle from HR). But we digress.

To save you from any cringe-worthy faux pas, we've consulted modern etiquette expert Kate Heussler to break down the ultimate Do's and Don'ts for every gifting occasion. Let's get into it.

Watch: Gift wrapping — sans waste. Post continues after video.

The basic Do's and Don'ts of gift giving.

Do personalise your gift.

"A gift that reflects the recipient's unique taste or personality shows you've put real thought into it," Kate told Mamamia. "It doesn't have to be expensive — a lovely book you know they'll enjoy or even a handwritten note can have just as much impact as a high-end item. It's the thought that matters most."

Do give without expectation.

"The best gifts come with no strings attached. It can be tempting to expect a certain reaction or even a gift in return, but giving should be an act of generosity. A true gift is given freely, with no expectation of reciprocation."

Do consider the presentation.

"How you present your gift adds an extra touch that shows care. Wrapping it nicely or even adding a small, heartfelt note makes the recipient feel cherished. After all, unwrapping a beautifully presented gift is half the fun!"

Don't give something overly personal, unless you're very close.

"Items like perfume, skincare, or clothing can be tricky to get right and sometimes feel too intimate. Unless you know someone's preferences to a tee, it's best to steer clear of these," the etiquette expert explained.

Don't go overboard with the price tag.

"Expensive gifts can sometimes make people feel uncomfortable, especially if it's not reciprocal. Thoughtful doesn't have to mean costly — sometimes, a simple, meaningful gesture goes much further."

Don't assume everyone loves the same thing.

"We all have different tastes and interests. Just because you adore a particular book, movie, or experience doesn't mean it's the right fit for everyone else. Think about what brings them joy, not just what you'd love to receive."

Okay, now for the nitty gritty. We asked Kate about ~specific~ gifting occasions and recipients. Everything from birthday dinners to your tricky in-laws, we've got you covered.

For a teacher.

Do:

"Make it practical and thoughtful," Kate said. "Teachers love gifts they can actually use, so something for the classroom or a personal item like a nice pen set or reusable coffee cup is often a hit. A heartfelt thank-you card from you (or your child) is also something most teachers treasure."

Don't:

"Give overly personal items. Things like perfume, jewellery, or clothes can feel a bit too intimate in a professional relationship. Stick to thoughtful and useful items that show you appreciate their hard work without crossing any personal boundaries."

For your mother-in-law.

Do:

"Appropriate etiquette for the men in the relationship — this gift is on you to source and secure, not your wife," the expert said. Hear, hear!

"Go for something meaningful and considered. Take note of her interests and give a gift that reflects her — whether it's a lovely plant she can nurture, a beautiful book, or even a unique, handcrafted piece for her home. It's a simple way to show you've put thought into it."

Don't:

"Gift anything overly practical or

Birthday dinners.

Do:

"Bring something thoughtful for the host," the expert advised. "Even if it's a small, meaningful gift like your favourite candle (even better if you know theirs), or a dessert, it's a great way to show appreciation for being invited to celebrate."

Don't:

"Overshadow the birthday person's moment. Avoid elaborate gifts that might outshine what others bring; it's about the celebration, not the expense!"

*"If the birthday person has a prior admiration of alcohol (wine, gin, etc) a bottle to contribute to their cellar is permitted," Kate added as a disclaimer. "As a general rule, however, alcohol is not suitable as a gift as it doesn't always consider individual preferences, health reasons or personal beliefs."

Housewarmings.

Do:

"Bring something homey," Kate suggested. "Think of things that make a space cosy, like a decorative plant, a candle, or even a cute kitchen gadget. Do they have a small missing utensil from their collection? That's the gift. It's all about making their new space feel special."

Don't:

"Bring something too specific for their décor. Unless you know their style well, avoid bold or overly personalised items that might not match their vibe or aesthetic."

Farewells.

Do:

"Choose a meaningful memento. Something that reminds them of shared memories or the place they're leaving (a framed photo, a small local item) can be a lovely, thoughtful touch," the expert suggested.

Don't.

"Give anything bulky or heavy. They might be packing up and moving, taking a flight and can only carry so much, so skip large or heavy items that add extra weight to their luggage."

Newborns.

Do:

"Focus on practical or meaningful gifts," she said. "Think of essentials that new parents always need, like adorable outfits in sizes other than 'newborn'. I always give sizes 6-12 months and 12-18 months, as the parents and close family members always have the smaller sizes covered."

She also suggests preparing food for the new parents.

"Take some meals around for the new mother to have some spares handy for the moments where she's not slept for days/weeks and needs something quick and easy to keep her own nourishment in check," Kate explained. "Always arrive at the new parents home with food/snack for mama (breastfeeding is hungry, thirsty work) and be prepared to help clean/tidy while she nurses."

Don't:

"Overload them with items they may already have. Steer clear of generic or very common baby items (a classic I see are new mums with dozens of baby blankets oozing from their cupboards) — new parents often get lots of these already. Instead, aim for a unique or practical touch."

The expert also emphasised to NOT to show up unannounced to the hospital, or expect an invite to their house. And, yes, this includes family members.

"The first few moments after birth are incredibly important for the new parents to have close skin-to-skin contact and establish a feeding routine," says Kate. "Respect the couple or mother's wishes — this also includes not posting the happy news to your social media until the parents have had the chance to. It's not your news to share, so don't rob them of their happy moment."

Engagements.

Do:

"Celebrate the couple," Kate said plainly. "Simple, romantic gifts like a bottle of bubbly or a beautiful frame for their future memories can be perfect. More often than not, a heartfelt well-written message in a beautiful card will do the job."

Don't:

"Go too 'wedding-y'. Engagements are separate from weddings, so skip gifts that are more fitting for the big day, like elaborate household items or high-end appliances."

Weddings.

Do:

"Stick to the registry, if there is one," the expert urged. "Couples often spend time selecting items they truly need or want, so going with their registry shows you respect their preferences. There are always items in varying budget categories, so stick to the one(s) you can comfortably afford.

"For destination weddings, do communicate early that you will be attending and confirm travel and hotel arrangements to avoid overspending (gifts are not required as the expense comes in guests preparing for, travelling to and staying in locations which are already pricey)."

Don't.

"Give overly personal items. Weddings are about starting life as a couple, so unless you know both parties well, avoid gifts that might appeal only to one person's tastes — or worse, just yours. What you need (or needed when you married 'back in the day') are not suitable here. Think of the couple, not yourself."

Graduations.

Do:

"Go for something symbolic or practical," Kate suggested. "A meaningful book, professional gear, or a useful gadget are all great ways to support their next chapter."

Don't:

"Overspend on luxury gifts. A graduation is a milestone, but it's best to keep gifts celebratory rather than extravagant unless you're very close to the person (and your budget comfortably allows for it)."

Anniversaries.

Do:

"Choose something for both partners," the etiquette expert advised. "If you're giving a gift to a couple, consider items they can enjoy together, like a gourmet food basket, tickets to a show, a lovely piece for their home or a contribution to their upcoming vacation."

Don't:

"Give anything too personal to just one partner. Since it's a shared occasion, aim for gifts that honour their partnership."

Milestone birthdays.

Do:

"Make it memorable," Kate said. "Milestone birthdays are special, so a thoughtful gift with sentimental value — a scrapbook, an experience or something they've always wanted — will make it unforgettable."

Don't:

"Make it about age. Avoid gifts that overly emphasise the milestone number, unless you know they're okay with it. Not everyone loves the reminder of ageing."

Secret Santa.

Do:

"Keep it light and universal," Kate said. "Secret Santa gifts are meant to be fun and inclusive, so go for something that anyone could enjoy. Think of cosy mugs or even a little desk plant. It's a safe way to avoid any awkwardness while still bringing a smile."

Don't:

"Overstep the spending limit. Secret Santa typically has a budget, and for good reason — it's about the spirit, not the splurge. Going way over budget can unintentionally create discomfort, so stick to the limit and embrace the challenge of finding something wonderful within that range."

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