"10 things I will miss about being pregnant."

Approaching your due date is exhilarating – so much to look forward to – a beautiful baby, parenthood, your new family, sleeping on your stomach again, wine. But it would be remiss of me not to equally spruik the joys of pregnancy– as there are many, and a significant portion of them have suited my lazy carefree state of being.

They include:

1. Not having to pick things up off the floor.

When one is ‘with child’ (I LOVE saying that – it sounds so Mr. Darcy) it’s perfectly excusable for anything that falls below the knee to stay there, or, be swiftly kicked under the bed – i.e. ‘cleaning’.

2. Food requests, like chocolate ice-blocks and salt and vinegar chips, are prioritised (by those around you).

With the same swiftness as a parent addressing a two-year-old in the grocery aisle with a quivering lip. A hangry, pregnant woman with cravings loses her ‘glow’ pretty quickly.

3. Glossy, healthy hair.

In my mind I am an unpaid Pantene model, and carry on that way in the privacy of my bathroom/home.

4. Wearing free-flowing, matronly smocks (oooh how lovely is movement/space/not feeling like a strapped ham), tops, and track pants.

Style has never been a realistic goal for me, so it’s nice to have an excuse.

5. ‘Filling out’ tops and dresses (with actual boobs) as designers intended.

6. Having good reason for being uncoordinated and spilling things on myself.

My go-to line is “I have 16kg on the front of me – balance is difficult to navigate.”

7. Five-hour napping sessions.

I like to say, “I’m going for a Denis Napthine” because I think I’m hilarious.

8. Saying what you really think.

“No sorry, there’s a queue, and it starts BACK HERE!” Then being able to dismiss it (if necessary) with “Sorry, must be the hormones!”

9. Conversely, mostly everyone being super kind to you.

When it’s finally clear you’re ‘with child’ as opposed to ‘with cheeseburgers’ people are lovely – they hold doors open, allow you to go first, make conversation, give you their seat. It’s almost like you’re famous, without any specific talent/enter reality TV star name here.

10. Having something amazing to count down to.

As a child it was school holidays, Christmas, or the ‘Ekka’ (equivalent of the Royal Easter Show). As you mature, you get less excited about these things, and have fewer meaningful things to count down to. But the impending birth of a child – oh my goodness! Just a few more sleeps to go!

What is one thing you miss about being pregnant?