‘I tried embracing ‘microjoys’ for a week. Here’s how it shifted my perspective on life.’

I wouldn’t call myself a quitter but when it comes to mindfulness and meditation techniques? Well, that’s a different story. 

My gratitude journal lasted precisely four days into the new year, I have a selection of untouched meditation apps on my phone, and any practice that requires me to sit still and take deep breaths only sends me into an episode of hyperventilation as my mind ruminates on all the things I should be ticking off my to-do list.

Watch Mia share the joy she finds in her wardrobe. Post continues below.

My lack of recognition for my mental health coupled with my addiction to perfectionism and stress really is a toxic personality trait. Too often, I bottle up my emotions, store them deep down inside and hope for the best that they disappear if I can distract myself with the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I put on a positive front and force myself to be a glass-half-full person when in actual fact, the mechanics inside of me are a little chaotic.

As a result, unfortunately, when difficulties in life strike, all the stored emotions begin to bubble to the surface and I channel a Kim-Kardashian-losing-her-diamond-ring-in-the-ocean vibe. Cue: the cycle of attempting mindfulness techniques to solve my problems and achieve happiness. 

So, when I came across ‘microjoys’, a relatively new practice that requires zero journaling or apps and very minimal effort and time, yet promised to provide that enviable level of positive mental clarity I’ve always aspired to skill up on, you bet I was intrigued.

What are microjoys?

The term was coined by author and positive-thinking expert Cyndie Spiegel, in her book Microjoys: Finding Hope (Especially) When Life Is Not Okay, and refers to the practice of uncovering joy and finding hope at any given moment. 

Spiegel came about this concept after a string of personal tragedies in 2020 that caused a world of mental, emotional and physical turmoil. In the midst of the coronavirus crisis, the author’s nephew was murdered, her mother passed away unexpectedly, her brother-in-law was admitted to intensive care after a stroke and to top it all off, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. 

But even through all this tragedy, Spiegel still managed to access a level of euphoria via a practice she later came to call ‘microjoys’. 

Living in a time of provocative headlines and the roar of social media, we’re left deeply attuned to what’s the loudest, shiniest and most popular, leaving moments of joy, humour and meaning to pass us by. Microjoys require you to pay attention to these missed moments by being present, appreciating and celebrating how wildly imperfect life is and digging deep to find the beauty in the awareness of every fleeting second — no matter how dark or bright it is. 

With this in mind, I implemented microjoys into my daily life for a week to see if it could positively shift my mindset. Here’s what I learned from the process. 

Microjoys aren’t actually micro.

Contrary to their name, microjoys aren’t exactly about the scale or size of things; rather, ‘micro’ refers to how easily accessible joyful experiences can be. 

“While the term ‘joy’ describes a more all-encompassing emotion, ‘microjoy’ describes the momentary or short-lived sense of pleasure experienced in a moment even when the individual might be feeling a bigger, less positive emotion like grief or sadness,” psychologist Breanna Jayne Sada tells me. 

For example, a microjoy can be anything from listening to the sound of running water as you brush your teeth in the morning to watching the sun’s rays shine through a window, seeing a bird in the sky, taking note of a line in a song playing on the radio, observing a mother hold their baby, kissing your partner good night or smiling at a stranger in the streets. 

“It’s a way of describing the smaller, fleeting parts of our day that we can look for in any moment,” Jayne Sada added. 

By becoming more aware of your surroundings and appreciating the wonder of nature, life and objects that you admire, you’ll begin to see how the practice of microjoys can make you feel good without trying, or just get you through a difficult day. 

Listen to this episode of Fill My Cup on apps for wellbeing. Post continues below.

There’s beauty in ‘grey’ moments.

What I found most interesting and challenging was grasping the concept of what Spiegel refers to as ‘the grey’ space.

Grey is neither black nor white. It’s not happy or sad, right or wrong, angry or grateful, grieving or joyful. Humans often see things through a lens of one or the other, leaving little room for nuance in the human experience. So, finding the middle space, or ‘grey’, can teach you to accept multiple, even opposite, truths at once. 

“When we allow ourselves to simply be in that middle space, all things can be true,” Spiegel writes in her book. “And this deep knowing is both benevolent and permission-giving. It grants us the compassion to accept joy in all forms always, even when life is most difficult.”

It’s finding that balance of seeking beauty in the seemingly mundane while also honing in on accepting life and situations as they are. It’s not about only seeing the best in things or brushing off the negative — those still exist and can’t be removed. 

Microjoys are not the same as happiness.

If someone was to ask me if I’ve been happy lately, I would say ‘yes’. But if another person was to ask me if I’ve been sad lately, my answer would also be ‘yes’. I’m neither one nor the other. I guess that’s why I, along with most people, reply to the question ‘How are you?’ with a thoughtless ‘good’. 

To me, being happy implies a longer-lasting feeling and something that gives me hope for a better future or goal. 

On the other hand, the crux of microjoys removes the need for things to be happy or hopeful and allows moments to be just as they are: a mixture of good and bad, okay and not okay and joy and sorrow. 

It’s more of a logical, immediate and deliberate emotion that forced me to be in the present moment and deal with concrete facts instead of an unknown future or forced bliss. 

Humour really is life’s most excellent medicine.

When Spiegel was processing multiple traumatic events, she actively searched for humour to access more microjoys in her day-to-day life, which helped pull her out of her darkest depths of sorrow — and science backs this. 

Countless studies have proven time and time again that humour boosts mood, strengthens the immune system, diminishes pain and protects from the damaging effects of stress, so it’s only wise to adopt laughter - or at the very least, a smile — every day. 

I made a conscious effort to smile at strangers on the streets, smile at my food before digging in and smile every time I received a text from a family member or friend. 

While not everything should be taken as a joke or deserves a smile, practising this was a humbling reminder to release some of the seriousness and expected level of maturity that’s often associated with being an adult. 

It only takes two minutes a day.

The biggest selling point - well, especially for me - was that, unlike all the other mindfulness techniques I previously tried, microjoys literally took me less than two minutes a day to do. 

Every day I set a timer for two minutes on my phone, blocked out all my internal thoughts and just observed. Some days I did this outside amongst nature while on other days I did it at my desk in front of my computer. I especially liked microjoy-ing first thing in the morning while lying in bed because, to my surprise, it made the process of getting out from under the doona a whole lot easier. A true mental game, really. 

No matter what environment I was in, I picked up on minute details that I wouldn’t have otherwise noticed if I hadn’t dedicated the time. 

At first, it was a struggle getting in the right headspace and then proceeding to grasp onto those feelings for the remainder of the day. However, by the end of the week, pinpointing microjoys almost came naturally and I was able to do it both within and outside of my dedicated two minutes. 

“If you really get into the zone and focus, you should be able to feel the benefits pretty instantly, simply from an improved mood or perspective,” Jayne Sada notes. “Perhaps, the feeling is only fleeting to begin with but the more you do it, the more you will find you’re able to hang onto that feeling for longer.”

Don’t overdo it — the beauty is within its subtlety.

There was a point during my week-long trial where the line between microjoys and gratitude became a blur because I was so fixated on only seeing the positives. It was mentally exhausting and I’m pretty sure I was on the borderline of adopting toxic positivity.

I needed to remind myself that microjoys can’t change reality or life-changing events but they do allow us to realise joy still exists, ultimately keeping us buoyant, moving forward and blissfully dodging the cynicism of the everyday. 

“If someone becomes fixated on identifying microjoys, this too could become problematic and upsetting,” Jayne Sada says. “Observing microjoys needs to be done authentically.”

There’s no glitz and glamour associated with the practice and it’s a humbling reminder that when it comes to making positive change, big things aren’t needed. It’s supposed to be an achievable activity that can be implemented into anyone’s daily routine.

So, did microjoys help me?

Even though I know people swear by positive mindset techniques, they’ve just never worked for me. This is partly because the whole notion of chasing the pursuit of happiness feels somewhat unattainable and mentally draining and partly because I lack the effort to commit to one practice for longer than a few days. 

But the simplicity of microjoys removed all of this pressure — and that’s what I liked the most about this process. 

The biggest learning lesson was accepting life’s abnormalities and understanding that it’s more than acceptable not to be so serious about everything. I’ve gone my whole life thinking joy is better than sorrow, sweet is better than sour, being okay is better than not being okay, light is better than dark, rich is better than poor and life is better than death. But recognising that two opposite truths can coexist and actually benefit from each other, allowed me to relax and experience everything about life. 

Going forth, I’m making a proactive effort to embrace microjoys, let go of perfectionism and embrace life as it comes and goes.