We asked women to share their acts of micro-pettiness. Prepare to take notes.

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I have a confession: I make my dad uncomfortable in restaurants and he has no idea.

That's right, I'm a micro-pettier, and it's time for my truth to be heard.

Every single time I go out to eat with my family, my dad makes a beeline for the booth seat. You know the one — that coveted, cushiony throne against the wall that everyone secretly wants. Without fail, he claims it like it's his divine right, leaving the rest of us perched on those plain, hard wooden chairs (a haemorrhoid sufferer's worst nightmare).

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From when I was a kid, I developed a habit of revenge against my poor, trusting father. Throughout our meals, I conduct what I like to call 'The Great Table Migration'. Inch by inch, I subtly ease the table towards my side. After doing it for over 10 years, it's become an art form.

What results is him having to lean further and further forward to eat his meal. I've perfected this move — it's just enough to make him slightly uncomfortable without ringing any alarm bells.

Honestly, he's getting a free core workout from this, so maybe it's not much of a petty tactic. But will I stop? Never.

There are three distinct rules to micro-pettiness:

The act has to be smaller and more subtle than regular pettiness.

It should be not easy to detect.

And it shouldn't make someone feel bad, but it should definitely make you feel good.

For some petty inspiration, here's what other women told us about their acts of micro-pettiness:

"I'll stop using exclamation marks when I talk to them over email or Slack!""If someone is driving like an idiot behind me, I sometimes slow down to p*ss them off, oops.""Sitting in someone's 'usual seat' at family dinner when they have p*ssed me off."

"Leaving my husband's clean washing on his work desk when he hasn't put it away within 48 hours."

"I had a friend that used to pull out the top of her boyfriend's thongs if he annoyed her so he couldn't wear them anymore."

"I tell my best friend if her boyfriend is mean to her, she should take small things from his house (nothing important, just inconvenient) like the base of his phone charger — leave the cord, just take the plug, one of the stove dials (ONLY ONE), the little spinny thing under the plate in the microwave so it won't turn, one shoe but leave the other."

"I go from signing off every email with 'many thanks' to just 'thanks.'"

"My ex suddenly became obsessed with counting every calorie and noting every ingredient as part of a new PT program to lose weight. I discovered he was cheating. While I was quietly getting my legal and financial ducks in a row before confronting him, I secretly added butter to all my cooking."

"My worst is with my name — lots of people call me by my surname or spell my name wrong in emails, so I call them by their last name or spell their name wrong too."

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"I often have to send emails to my team and have to enter the addresses manually. I always put the email address of my most annoying team member last.""When I first started working at 18, I used to work with a horrible, rather rude woman who thought it was okay to boss me about and ask me to bring her cans of Coke from the fridge (I wasn't her direct report and didn't work with her, but I was young and had no boundaries). On occasion, I'd shake the can up before giving it to her and walk away."

"Saying my husband's favourite food was sold out if he annoyed me."

"My sister's manager said nurses were not to wear stockings with their skirts (for no reason other than personal preference), so she purposefully wore stockings every day."

If you want more from Emily Vernem, follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

All submissions to this article are anonymous for safety reasons.

Feature image: Canva.