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Are they jeans or are they tracksuit pants? This is the most urgent question of our time and so it came to be this week when my whimsical 'jeans' delighted and upset people in equal measure. Sometimes I think I get dressed just to troll Jessie and Holly.
They are from Rag and Bone, and they're spendy, but I am confident that fashion's trickle-down effect will do its thing and cheaper versions will be available faster than you can say Jeggings But Better.
Check out the pants in question here. Post continues below.
Last week was a time. The only way I can describe it is that my brain was glitching. I find it very boring talking about ADHD because it feels like you can't pick up your phone without some basic b*tch banging on about her ADHD or her menopause or both.
Hi, it's me. Today, I am that b*tch.
Both my brain and my hormones have been quite pesky for the last, oh, 8–10 years and last week was a doozy.
It began with having to buy more sports bras because my boobs are so sore, I now need to wear two when I exercise. Next, I blew out a tyre by mounting the curb, which was expensive and logistical chaos while it got repaired. Then I got the time wrong for a dinner with a friend and kept her waiting for 45 mins when our booking was only for two hours, and she came a long way on a bus to see me.
I couldn't find my fashion groove and hated every outfit I wore. Here are some examples:
Image: Supplied.
I lost my makeup bag. Made a whole new one. Lost that one. Made a third. Then found the first one. And finally, left them all at the office.
I bought a gold skirt that I only realised is incredibly scratchy when I got home and tried it on — perplexingly, I lose my sense of touch in shops and only discover that an item of clothing is too tight, scratchy or generally uncomfortable when I get home, immediately after I rip off the tag in excitement.
I couldn't get my sh*t together in the pod studio during our Outloud records. I just couldn't find my groove and felt like I was letting everyone down.
I dropped my half-full smoothie cup on the floor (fortunately a concrete floor, not the cream carpet I usually like to drop it on) and I forgot to send another friend a diary invite for our dinner, so she turned up a week early — my mistake, not hers.
Finally, I accidentally stole these protection glasses from the dentist after my appointment.
This bewildered look on my face is indicative of how I felt for most of last week. Image: Substack.
Just walked right out with them.
And these are just the f**k-ups I remember. The pervading sense of being off-kilter, unable to focus, to organise my thoughts or my time has been ever present this week.
The thing about the medication I take for my various issues - antianxiety meds, HRT and ADHD meds — is that while they are mostly really effective and allow me to function the way I need to each day, they're not magic pills.
Sometimes my issues poke through the meds. It might be something going on in my life, my body or something going on in the world (dear god, the news cycle) and I've come to understand — albeit reluctantly — that I will fluctuate — mentally, physically and emotionally.
This sounds obvious — and indeed those fluctuations are what it means to be human, I guess — but when my brain glitches, I feel such shame for making the lives of those around me harder and not being able to manage life in the way it seems everyone else does effortlessly. And when my body glitches from menopause (why do I have a period RN) I feel oddly displaced inside myself.Anyway, that's the vibe. The good news is that I know these things come in waves and, mentally, what I often need to do is just have some quiet focus time to recalibrate. On the weekend, I had almost total social-rest, saw nobody but my family, zoned out to Severance, and it all helped a lot.
Onwards we go. All I can say is that it's lucky I don't have a detachable penis.
I remembered this song for some reason the other day and played it for my children, who were quite confused. "This is as exciting as music got in the 80s", I told them.
Some recent outfits I felt good in…
I love camo and red together, and I wanted to try wearing fancy flats as per the 'wrong shoe theory'. Image: Supplied.
They look like jeans, don't they? They're TRACKSUIT PANTS THO. Rag and Bone. Image: Supplied.
Camo and leopard! Another fave. Image: Supplied.
This shirt is men's UNIQLO. I should have worn skin-coloured undies and tucked it in so you can't see it through the skirt. Image: Supplied.
Another men's shirt from Uniqlo. This bag from COS is my MVP of the summer. Image: Supplied.
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Feature image: Supplied.
