'Men made dating difficult, not my height. I didn't let their judgement decide my worth.'

I've always known the world has a complicated relationship with bodies that don't fit its ideals. But I didn't understand just how deep that ran until I was 18 years old, alone in my room, in tears, reading hundreds of online comments about my body.

A video has surfaced — a clip from a concert where I'd been hoisted onstage by a security guard, and picked up in front of a huge crowd. It wasn't something I chose. The moment spread quickly. And the way my body was described in that video, often in objectifying terms, left a mark I carried into every first date after that.

I'm four feet tall. I have short limbs and a strong personality. I've never felt ashamed of who I am. But when it comes to dating, especially online, I've had to be smart. There's a big difference between confidence and naivety. One protects your energy, the other can leave you exposed to harm.

Watch: How to know if you are in a toxic situation. Post continues after video.

For a long time, I only posted photos of myself from the shoulders up. Not because I had something to hide, but because I was protecting myself. When someone looks different, people can get weird. And that "weird" can range from creepy curiosity to outright rudeness.

I wanted people to get to know me — the real me — before making snap judgments.

One time, I met a guy for a drink. I got there early and ordered a drink. He arrived, sat down, looked at me, and said he wasn't staying. He gestured toward my arms and told me I "should've been more transparent." I reminded him that I'd already told him I was four feet tall. I asked if he expected me to send a close-up photo of my limbs. He didn't answer. He just left.

The waitress saw it all. It was humiliating, not because the date didn't work out, but because I'd been reduced to something less than human. I wasn't a person to him. I was a surprise. A problem.

I'm not sharing this story for sympathy. I don't want that. I'm sharing it because it matters — because too many people still feel they have to apologise for taking up space.

Then there was the guy I had connected with online for weeks. We often messaged, spoke on the phone, and made plans to meet in person. I had already told him I was really short. He brushed past it like it didn't matter. He seemed easy-going and genuinely interested, so I felt comfortable inviting him over for a drink before dinner.

Everything started off well. We talked easily. He was leaning in, laughing, clearly attracted to me. But when it came time to go out for dinner, he said he wasn't feeling hungry anymore and preferred to stay in.

I didn't say anything, but I could feel the shift. Something had changed, and deep down, I knew why.

After a few more drinks and conversation, I gently asked him what was really going on.

"It's just… what the world would think," he said.

Not what he thought. What the world would think.

That one hit hard. It wasn't about chemistry or interest. We had both. It was about shame. His fear of what people might say if they saw him with someone who looked different. And at that moment, I realised I wasn't the one who needed to change. He was.

I don't hold negativity toward the men who responded that way, and to reiterate, they were the minority. I imagine it would be exhausting to live in fear of other people's opinions. But it also highlights just how outdated and narrow society's idea of "normal" still is. That's what really needs to change, not the people who don't fit into it.

And it's important to say this: I've also met some truly wonderful men along the way. Smart, kind, emotionally intelligent guys who didn't flinch at difference and never made me feel like anything less than desirable and equal. But the truth is, even the rare painful experiences can leave a lasting scar. I don't want anyone else to go through that kind of damage just to learn how to protect themselves.

When I date now, I come to it with a stronger sense of self. I don't feel the need to explain or apologise for who I am. If someone isn't comfortable with that, then they're not someone I want to invest my energy in.

After that experience, where someone's shame spoke louder than their interest, something in me shifted. I stopped using photos that only showed me from the shoulders up. I started showing my full self.

I'd always had interest when I was out and about. That has never been the issue. But surprisingly, not much changed online when I updated my profile. What did change was how I felt. I didn't have to second-guess whether to explain myself. It was all there — clear, visible, and in a way, a filter. The people who engaged were already showing they were open-minded, and that made things easier from the very first message.

Some said they liked my confidence. Some said they were curious. And many said they found me physically attractive — not in spite of my difference, but alongside it. That mattered. Yes, I still wanted to hear that they found me attractive, physically, not just conceptually. I didn't want to be someone's "unique experience." I wanted to be seen, respected, and desired, like anyone else.

If I could go back and tell my 18-year-old self anything, it would be this:

"Don't be afraid. Be curious. Meet different people and take the time to understand how they see the world. Even the uncomfortable moments will teach you something valuable. Others' reactions are not a reflection of you. They're a reflection of them.

You are not less than. You bring value, insight, and presence to every space you enter. And the more you trust that, the more fully you'll show up, not just in dating, but in everything you do."

Dating isn't about settling. It's not about being grateful someone stayed. It's about finding someone who sees you, all of you, and feels proud to stand beside you.

Daniella Biagi is a multi-award-winning Chartered Accountant and an advisor to entrepreneurs and businesspeople. She's a passionate advocate for body confidence and authentic representation.

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Feature image: Supplied.