'More than one can bear.' Melissa Leong reflects on grief, following the death of Jock Zonfrillo.

For Melissa Leong, she has said grief for her is "a poignant tugging at the heart to remind us that we are alive".

This week in her Stellar column, Leong opened up about the nature of grief and her experiences with it. The column comes a month following the passing of her MasterChef Australia co-star, Jock Zonfrillo.

"The passing of someone from life is a powerfully shared experience. Even more so when that person lived a huge life and touched the lives of many," she noted.

"In my life, I have had the unfortunate courtesy of being old friends with this most enveloping of emotions. I'm versed in being caught in its rip-tide, engulfed by waves, feeling unable to find the surface or the ground, to come up for air."

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For Leong, she said something specific to her about coping with loss is finding comfort through food.

"You know I'm a feeder by nature, so this one should come as no surprise to you. Whether it's you or someone you're caring for, you need to eat and hydrate. Shock does many things to the body; we ostensibly go into fight or flight mode, which means that nourishment is the last thing on our minds," she explained.

"But comfort food is called that for a reason, and it does help. For me, it's congee, chicken soup, a bowl of pasta. Simple soul food helps soothe the nerves and allows us to continue to function, which is crucial."

She detailed a time years ago when she experienced grief that it was a simple act of kindness via food that helped her through the tough time.

"As I sat catatonic in bed, a chef mate came over with a curry and rice, all vacuum-sealed in bags (because, chef). Each bag had a piece of masking tape with instructions written in a Sharpie pen. On the rice bag, the words read: Swallow your Asian pride and microwave me. It was the first smile I cracked in a week, and the nourishment of that meal on all fronts will never be forgotten."

For Leong, she's come to realise how we all deal with loss differently, the classic stages of grief being felt by all at different times and speeds.

"As you navigate reaching out to someone who's grieving, know that a message of support left unread isn't the recipient rejecting you – sometimes the deluge of support can be more than one can bear. And what people bear can be a lot, because grief often stirs up remnants of other loss, compounding it into something that feels insurmountable."

Image: Instagram.

She finished her column by reflecting on what grief taught her recently: that it's human to feel.

"To feel grief is to know that the one we lost meant something important to us," Leong said.

"What we feel in grief is proportionate to the joy and light that person gave you – a bittersweet reminder that in life, as we connect to each other, the more that's given, the greater the loss is felt."

In early May, Leong posted a tribute online for Zonfrillo, saying he was "supposed to be the bulletproof one who outlived us all".

"You showed me what true excellence looks like both in the kitchen and outside of it," she said. "This all feels too raw to process still, I suspect it will for some time. Such is the impact of a life lived so large, with so much levity and entirely on your own terms."

During The Project's TV special dedicated to celebrating the life of Jock Zonfrillo, fellow co-star Andy Allen said his experience with navigating grief has been complex as well.

"I want to say I'm okay but I'm not great. This has hit me like a tonne of bricks," he reflected.

As for how he feels about watching the latest season of MasterChef Australia, Allen said it will be tough but important to do.

"I've told myself that I will watch it, he'd want that... And it's going to be hard to, don't get me wrong, but it's not about me, it's about him. This is him doing, right now, what he's best at."

Feature Image: Channel 10.

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