'It's not disrespectful to talk about the Matildas' personal lives. It's essential.'

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Like many of you, I spent all weekend inhaling Matildas content. 

Not just the game itself (although it left me on cloud nine), but the articles, the social posts, the debates in the comment sections… you name it, I’ve eaten it up.

When we won the quarter-final on Saturday, the first thing I wanted to do was jump into a hug with my partner, and message my friends and family to celebrate. 

Quickly after, I wanted to go online and see the players do the same because I know how important their families are to them. I’ve seen it in everything they do: their docuseries, their social posts, and their interviews.

So, I’m not ashamed to admit that it completely knocked me off my chair when I discovered many people felt the opposite. All I could see were comments from people who wanted the evening to only focus on the players' sporting achievements. 

While you're here, watch the story behind the Matildas mural on the iconic Bondi Beach Sea Wall. Post continues after video.

Here’s why I disagree. 

People just want a way to connect.

Not everyone is a football fanatic. Some people just want to connect and enjoy this history-making moment with the rest of Australia — but in a way that feels authentic to them.

I’m a sports fan but I still need the extra behind the scenes goss to really feel involved. 

I want to know that Mini had IVF and a baby on her own before meeting her partner-turned-fiancé. 

I want to know that Coach Tony Gustavsson believes her journey of becoming a mother makes her a better player (rather than the opposite narrative we’ve heard all our lives). 

I want to know that Sam Kerr has a beautiful relationship with US player, Kristie Mewis, who gives her the breath of fresh air she needs in between matches. 

These details make me feel connected to them. And it gives an added appreciation for what they do for themselves, and what support systems they have in place, so that they can be the players who beat France in the quarter-finals. 

Women can be (and do) everything. 

I spoke to my manager at Mamamia, Maddie, about how I was feeling. And she said something that I absolutely have to repeat here for you all:

“It kind of reminds me of the Rachel Zegler controversy: how she’s saying that the new Snow White isn’t about a love story like the original, implying that love is embarrassing to want, or not feminist. But why can’t women have both? Why does it always have to be career over love?” Maddie said.

“Women are complex, and to whittle them down to one dimension, i.e. ‘she plays soccer so we can only talk about that,’ is harmful.”

Whether a player is single, married, queer, or a parent, they are a person made up of their life experiences and play the way they play — in part — because of these experiences. 

If they are a mother or utterly in love with their partner, it does not detract from their skills. 

Is it a gay thing?

Image: Supplied

My queer perspective is one coming from years of underrepresentation in the media and the world. I’m so deeply engulfed in pride because of the visibility the Women’s World Cup is bringing to families of all shapes and sizes. 

Does this make me blind to any other implications these conversations bring?

Make no mistake, I vehemently support the fight to ensure women are seen as more than our marital status or who we have sex with — women can be exceptional professional athletes, or whatever the hell they want to be.

But the Matildas, and the teams in the Women’s World Cup, are more than just teams of professional athletes. They’re a group of women and non-binary people with different sexualities and family structures.

We have never in the history of sports, or in any world event other than pride, had so much LGBTQIA+ representation and visibility. In fact, there are at least 96 out players in the Women’s World Cup this year, versus zero in the men's league in 2022. Zero. 

2015 statistics from Out on The Fields, the first international study of gay athletes and homophobia in sports, found that 54 per cent of male athletes admit to using homophobic slurs in the two weeks before the study, and most (69 per cent) had heard teammates use slurs.

Holly Wainwright hit the nail on the head in a recent episode of Out Loud when she said, “[The Matildas] represent generations of women who have challenged the way things are.” 

This is not just because they’ve played football professionally and clawed their way to success against all odds (though that’s a huge part of it), but because they’ve always challenged the other stereotypes that surround being a woman and in some cases, being queer too. 

Talking about these women holistically is essential.

I don’t want to cover women’s sports the way we cover men’s.

One of the main arguments I’ve seen pushing back is, “We would never cover men’s sports like this.”

And for all the reasons I mentioned above — that’s the point.

I’ve watched and attended both men's and women's games in my life and I — by far — feel less safe when I watch men’s sporting teams. I’m in a FIFA Women’s World Cup Facebook group where many people have shared the same sentiment.

Listen to Mamamia Out Loud where the hosts discuss the Matildas beating France for a spot in the World Cup semi-finals. Story continues after audio.

When watching a game, we all want families, little children, queer folk, and anyone, and everyone, to feel safe and included. The Matildas and the Women’s World Cup allow that. They represent so many diverse people and bring about a sense of love and family not seen in sports elsewhere.

Rather than asking women’s sport to follow in the footsteps of men, let’s let women’s sports pave the way for men so that they too can experience the same unconditional support and inclusion.

Surely as we celebrate the team's win and their immense physical and mental grit to get to the semi-finals, we can celebrate the people around them who help them every day.

As Mia, Holly, and Clare said on Out Loud, this kind of coverage comes down to timing. But how much time must we give when their physical prowess and their personal lives are so positively intertwined?

Feature Image: Supplied

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