What Would Matt Preston Do?
What’s the best thing about Masterchef? The tears. I mean, the judges. Without the judges, there’d be no drama. There’d be no pressure. There’d be no cravats.
If you want your life to be more like Masterchef, you need to act like a Judge. WWMPD. What would Matt Preston do?
How to: Be a MASTERCHEF JUDGE.
1. Yell some obvious things out at the top of your lungs, at any time of day. My favourite is, “Remember, that chicken needs to be cooked!”. Or “You want your dish to be full of flavour”. Or “Me like good food. You make good food now.”
2. You don’t really need to know how to cook, but you do need to know how to stress other cooks out. Wander in as your mum or your partner or a local pizza guy cook your dinner. Fire questions at them. “Are you sure you haven’t missed something?” When they look confused, just shrug and walk away. Or “mushrooms? In a pan? That’s not how I would do it. Definitely not how I would do it.”… And then shrug and walk away.
Or simply stare at them, stare into the pot, stare back at them…. And then shrug and walk away.
Want more Masterchef-related goodness? ‘Sorry Masterchef, I love plain food’
3. Eat with the reverence and lethargy of a two-hundred pound baby. Close your eyes as if the food is making you sleepy, don’t move your jaw much. Just suck it, say nothing, and then have a nap with your blanky.