Mamamia recaps MAFS: Insults are flying as the first dinner party explodes.

Well, we've officially made it through our first week of Married at First Sight, and tonight marks our very first milestone: the Dinner Party.

If the weddings are about hope and the honeymoons are about projection, this phase of the experiment is all about social exposure.

Historically, it's where big personalities come out to play, loyalties are tested, private relationship dynamics become public property — and a few love bubbles are well and truly popped.

First up, a quick news roundup.

Watch: The MAFS teaser trailer. Post continues below.

Stella and Filip have spent a very lovely honeymoon in Tasmania, mostly taking baths together and vibing the house down.

In North Queensland, Julia and Grayson slept in separate beds – either because they're AI robots as previously suspected, or because they're smart, grounded people who have known each other for approximately five minutes.

Gia and Scott have finally banged, sending Scott so far over the moon I doubt he's ever coming down.

Bec and Danny had a proper chat about their "spectacle" of a week. Bec showed some genuine self-awareness around her insecurities, while Danny offered the weakest apology imaginable. "I said I'd always be a gentleman," he said, "and maybe I wasn't." The word maybe has no place in that sentence, but it was apparently enough to win Bec over and they're now back to the (overly laboured) snuggles and kisses.

Steve and Rachel are back on track (phew!), both making a conscious effort to breeze past the wine-tasting incident while privately vying to take the lion's share of responsibility – which is adorable and only reinforces my faith in them, the cuties.

As we approach the dinner party, the pre-game footage focuses heavily on building a rivalry between Gia and Bec. In chats with their husbands, Bec says they didn't mesh well from the start, while Gia believes Bec judged her on her looks. "I think she's basic," Gia sneers – although, as with the hens' party, it feels a little forced.

By now, most of us can recognise the difference between authentic, spontaneously occurring behaviour and moments that seem prompted. And while I believe tension between these two alpha women would be inevitable, the 'beef' feels distinctly producer-assisted.

Speaking of which, the voiceover informs us that "tragedy has struck a participant who is in hysterics." Naturally, I briefly assume someone's grandmother has died – but no. Chris has glitter on his shirt.

"It's not coming out," he says. "This is a nightmare."

Brook sweeps in. "That's not my fault," she tells him. "You touched me. I told you not to touch me."

Chris attributes the situation to "what happens when you fall head over heels for your wife." Like any good mother figure, Brook rolls her eyes and calls him a diva. "Far out, Brussel sprout, get over it." Chris smiles dreamily. "We're building a bond," he says. "We're such similar people."

…Are you though?

Image: Nine.

Meanwhile, Luke and Mel are legitimately upsetting to watch. He compliments her and attempts conversation -awkward, yes, but earnest. She, on the other hand, treats him like an inconvenience. "Get your pillow," she says, gesturing toward the couch. "If we don't have a blanket, we have a spare towel." What is he, a dog?

"I'm really excited to talk to someone other than Luke," she adds, and once again I wonder whether the experiment is secretly testing how mean one human can be to another on national television.

Filip and Stella are the first to arrive at pre-dinner drinks, floating in on cloud nine. David and Alissa follow, both happy and sparkly – and interestingly, Alissa's high energy is back but the performance is gone. She's relaxed enough to drop the act, because David likes her for precisely who she is; she doesn't have to apologise or pretend. And I love that for them both.

Rebecca and Silver Steve also look strong: affectionate yet dignified, demonstrably safe in each other's company. Then our AI robots arrive and oh my god are they attractive.

The mood is buoyant – until Mel and Luke walk in like estranged spouses halfway through a divorce. Mel immediately detaches herself from him and makes a beeline for the girls, with whom she's suddenly warm, open, animated – and painfully dismissive of Luke. She tells Alissa she's not attracted to him because it's not the rom-com she imagined, she hasn't been crowned a princess, blah blah blah. And look, I'm tolerant, but even I'm exhausted by this rubbish.

Dinner is dominated by sex talk. Initially, it feels open and respectful: Filip and Stella have done it; Rebecca and Silver Steve are taking it slow, as are David and Alissa. But Gia, predictably, can't help but turn it into a competition.

"We've done it like 12 times," she announces – because sex appeal appears to be how she measures her worth. The tone instantly shifts.

With Silver Steve's help, Bec tries to steer the conversation back to reality, pointing out that frequent sex doesn't guarantee longevity. And just like that, the 'beef' ignites.

So far, Bec has made an effort. At cocktail hour, she greeted Gia with warmth and courtesy, attempting to meet tension head-on. But Gia responded by slipping straight back into corporate roleplay. "Let's kick shit off," she says in an aside during dinner, the evil villain laugh practically implied.

The producers know exactly where they want said "shit" concentrated. Playing on Bec's vulnerability, they push her to suggest Gia might be after Danny. Admirably, Bec refuses. "That's bad juju," she says. "I don't want to talk about that." Yay!

They get to her later, though. "She's fake," Bec snaps, her self-control crumbling. "Fake tits. Fake arse. Fake face." Booooooo.

Image: Nine.

Gia is equally ready for battle, deliberately poking at Bec's discomfort. When Fiji comes up, Bec is forced to answer for both herself and Danny – which makes me so mad. While he sits back tossing out empty clichés ("Gentlemen don't kiss and tell," "Comparison is the thief of joy"), Bec scrambles to sell a rosier version of their honeymoon: one where she made mistakes and he's the best friend she didn't know she needed.

Naturally, no one buys it.

"He's leading her on," Gia says. "And he's looking at me a bit too much."

For once, I believe her.

Meanwhile, Mel continues to drive me absolutely insane. It's like she's stuck in time, trapped in the trauma of the gum and his lateness, and she cannot find a way out. Farmer Luke is dead to her. Her stonewalling borders on cruel. She also appears confused about whether chicken counts as meat.

Thankfully, the other women gently intervene, pressing her on what exactly Luke has done to deserve the ice-cold treatment.

Mel thinks about this.

"He listens to the TV really loudly," she offers.

There's a pause. "Does he turn it down when you ask?" someone wonders.

"I don't ask," Mel replies – and this, apparently, is all anyone needs to know.

"Relax," Julia suggests, "and find the qualities that do light you up?"

"Try to see the good in him," says Gia.

"Create a friendship at least," says Silver Steve.

Mel looks like she doesn't know what they mean. "I know I'm not being the nicest person," she says. "And that's really hard for me."

Luke nods, diplomatic but visibly worn down. At one point, I genuinely think he might cry. "It's not fair for me to have to sit through it," he says – echoing the thoughts of every single person watching.

Join me next episode for something called Revelations Week, where – according to the teasers – the show exposes participants' dark sides (read: audition tapes), and everyone promptly loses their minds.

*Rubs hands together with glee*

Feature Image: Nine.