It's not about housework. This is the real reason women are choosing to be single.

She books his dentist appointments. She manages his social calendar. She absorbs his work stress while juggling everything else. And increasingly, women are saying: "I'd rather be alone."

Across Australia, women are walking away from relationships in record numbers. Not because they can't find love, but because they're tired of being unpaid life managers for grown men.

The signs are everywhere once you know what to look for: She keeps tabs on his friendships so he doesn't become isolated. She walks on eggshells, managing the household vibe while he gets to check out whenever he wants.

Sound familiar? There's finally a name for it.

Watch: The default parent. Post continues below.

The invisible load has a name.

"Let's call it what it is. Women have been the unofficial life managers in relationships for decades," says Kris Byrnes, a mindset coach who works with women exhausted by carrying the emotional load in their relationships. "We're the emotional safety net, the peacekeepers, the social organisers, the ones always clocking how everyone else is feeling. And to be honest? We're done."

The term gaining traction is "mankeeping" — and it's not just about doing more housework or remembering anniversaries. It's the mental and emotional burden of being responsible for another adult's wellbeing, growth and basic functioning.

According to Byrnes, these women aren't just tired — they're burnt out from managing the home, the kids, the calendar, and their partner's feelings. Meanwhile, their partners are often emotionally stuck and outsourcing their inner work to the women in their lives.

She calls it what it is: emotional offloading disguised as intimacy.

When love becomes labour.

"This whole term 'mankeeping' that's floating around isn't new. It's just finally been named," Byrnes explains. "It's the invisible load that so many women carry — unspoken, expected and so deeply ingrained that we don't even realise we're doing it until we're completely burnt out."

"But so many women are in relationships where they've become the emotional default setting," Byrnes notes.

The breaking point.

The problem isn't that women are naturally nurturing or want to support their partners. The issue is when that support becomes one-sided, expected rather than appreciated and completely draining.

"And the truth is, at some point, it's no longer supportive. It's enabling," Byrnes says. "This is the work I do. I help women come back to themselves. To stop mothering grown men. To stop holding emotional labour that was never theirs to begin with. To understand that wanting peace, partnership and to be met fully isn't asking too much. It's the bare minimum."

Choosing single over settling.

Rather than enter relationships that require mankeeping, many women are making a radical choice: they're staying single. They're recognising that being alone is preferable to being in a partnership where they're doing the emotional work of two people.

"This isn't about blame. It's about awareness," Byrnes explains. "Because when you're doing all of that without boundaries or standards in place, you're not helping. You're enabling. You're saying, 'It's fine that you don't show up — I'll keep doing it for you.'"

The result? Women are walking away from potential relationships or ending existing ones rather than sign up for a lifetime of emotional management.

"And over time, that's what drains women. Not the doing — the invisible doing. The unreciprocated effort. The emotional weight she never agreed to but somehow inherited."

Breaking the cycle.

So what's the alternative? According to Byrnes, it starts with women refusing to take on the mankeeping role from the beginning.

Her advice is clear: Stop trying to coach your partner into becoming the man you wish he'd become. Stop over-functioning. Stop stepping in when he's perfectly capable — just not required to be, because you keep making it easy for him not to.

Setting a new standard.

Byrnes practices what she preaches in her own relationship: "I want to say this because it matters. I called this in. My husband doesn't need mankeeping because I wasn't willing to enable poor behaviour in the first place. I chose a man who leads himself because I was leading myself. That didn't happen by accident. It happened because I raised my standard."

The message is revolutionary: women don't have to accept relationships that require them to be life managers for grown men.

"So choose yourself. Lead yourself. And trust that when you stop doing the work for him, you give him the space to do it himself — or not. But either way, you are no longer available for mankeeping."

The new reality.

As more women recognise the hidden cost of mankeeping, they're making a powerful statement with their choices. They'd rather be single than settle for a relationship that requires them to be an unpaid life coach, therapist, and personal assistant rolled into one.

The question isn't why women are staying single — it's why it took so long for them to realise they deserved better.

You can find Kris Burns on Instagram here.

Feature image: Desperate Housewives.