A psychologist on how to ease your kids' anxieties about going back to school.

Thanks to our brand partner, Ramsay Psychology

Whether your kids are preparing for their first day of kindy or they're heading back to the classroom after the holiday season, there may be a few big feelings on the horizon — for both you and your child.

To help ease these nerves, clinical psychologist Sonja Kram from Ramsay Psychology offered her top tips for smoother drop-offs and a more relaxed start to the term.

She pointed out that while some children may be eager for the holidays to end —looking forward to returning to routine and reconnecting with friends — others may experience a typical adjustment period, such as feeling a bit of "end-of-holiday blues" or mild anxiety about the year ahead.

"We see so many families struggling with this issue," she explained. "We just need to ensure we're distinguishing between normal or mild anxiety and more concerning levels of anxiety and depression, which are the main contributors to school attendance difficulties."

Sometimes this may look like changes in sleeping patterns or appetite, or increased somatic symptoms such as tummy aches, headaches, a racing heart or shallow breathing. Other signs could include increased irritability, mood swings or a withdrawal from usual activities and family time.

"Mild levels of this can be normal whenever we're doing something new, but if this impacts your child's normal level of functioning, that's when you may need to seek the expertise of a professional," she explained.

So how do we proactively help our children in the face of rising anxiety? It starts with compassion, forward-planning and a little help from those in the know.

Speak to the experts.

If you've noticed any of the above issues of concern, Kram suggested reaching out to the professionals at Ramsay Psychology who provide child and teen psychology services either in-clinic or via telehealth.

"We have clinics throughout Australia and we provide high quality care," she said. "Our practice managers are highly experienced at matching clients with the best clinician for their situation."

Importantly, each highly skilled psychologist tailors their approach to best suit the needs of children and their parents — supporting the whole family through some of life's trickier transitions.

Plan ahead.

Like all of us — children are creatures of habit, and if they've been enjoying longer sleep-ins, access to the fridge whenever they want or increased screen time during the holidays, these behavioural habits will need to be readjusted when returning to school.

"Parents should think about this prior to school starting, so they can begin adjusting routines to help kids get back into the right mindset around bedtime, mealtimes and cutting back on screen time. It's also important for parents to adjust their own routines," said Kram.

"Adjusting these behavioural habits and routines prior to school starting is one of the best things parents can do because it helps kids understand there's a change coming up."

Validate big feelings.

If your child has revealed their worries about returning to school, it's important to remind them that these emotions are all understandable.

"You might tell them that lots of kids feel this way or that you've even felt that way at one point — and then reassure your child that you will support them, and ask lots of curious questions to try to identify what your child is worried about," said Kram.

For those starting a new school or starting school altogether, Kram suggested giving them as much information as possible in the lead-up to ease their anxiety.

"This might include driving past the school a couple of times to give them that clear visual of the front gate, or making sure they know how to take the bus if they're starting a new commute," she added.

If, however, parents notice their kid seems increasingly moody, withdrawn or more irritable, these may be indicators that something deeper is going on.

"These early warning signs provide opportunities for parents to start a conversation with their child," said Kram. "You might say, 'I've noticed you're not quite yourself. Are you thinking about school starting?'" she explained.

"It's about asking those curious questions to see if you can get to the core of what your kid might be thinking about so you can start addressing those fears."

Keep it social.

Encouraging social relationships with fellow classmates outside of school can be pivotal.

"These social relationships are so important because they help your child realise they won't be on their own at school," explained Kram.

"Parents can arrange playdates before the start of term just to re-connect kids to their friends before they have to face that first week back." 

If your kid struggles socially, Kram recommended working directly with the school to see if there are clubs or lunchtime activities that children can join to help them meet other kids. This may also help with easing separation anxiety.

"You might even talk to your school about whether a teacher can meet your child at the gate so you can have that handover from one attachment figure to another," added Kram.

"For older kids, you can arrange for your child to travel to school together with a friend, or schools can arrange for your child to meet another student at the gate, so there's an immediate and positive social connection."

Aim for balance.

While it can be easy to get flustered when emotions are running high, Kram emphasised the importance of parents keeping their cool.

"If your child is struggling with separation anxiety or with usual school attendance, research shows that punitive methods from the parent or school make the problem worse, so we have to have a nurturing response that validates their distress while reminding them to be courageous," Kram noted.

This may include helping your kid map out their day and what it will look like — that way, if they encounter an issue, they'll already know what they need to do.

Head to Ramsay Psychology to help settle into the new school year.

This information is general in nature and does not replace the advice of a healthcare professional. As with any health condition and vaccine, always seek health and medical advice from a qualified pharmacist or your healthcare professional.

Feature Image: Getty.

Find out more at ramsaymentalhealth.com.au 

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