Think you've seen a big penis before? You haven't met Micha.

This story is huge.

Meet Micha (or should I say meat?). He is 45 years old, lives in Berlin and is extremely well hung.

But he wasn’t always enormously endowed, a few years ago Micha underwent an irreversible penis enlargement.

His penis now measures a whopping 9 inches in length and 3.5 inches across, which for us sods still using the metric system is nearly 23cm long and 9cm wide. Aka: fucking enormous.

“Whether it weighs 7.5 pounds of 9.5 pounds, I can’t say right now,” he says.

“I just know that my kitchen scale, which shows up to 6.6 pounds, hasn’t been enough for a while.”

Remind me never to borrow your scales for baking, Micha.

Concerns about standards of food preparation aside, Micha is now the the subject of a new documentary from Vice called, wait for it, Monster Meat. Because his giant appendage really does just need to be seen to be believed.

Did you catch it?

The documentary is both fascinating and actually quite moving. Because behind his giant bulge, Micha is just a shy guy looking for love and self-acceptance.

“I didn’t have my penis enlarged because it makes me feel more beautiful,” he tells the camera, “but rather because it makes me feel better.”

The film explores the underground world of penis enlargement, dangerous procedures, extreme implants and the biggest question of all… Does size really matter?

“If a woman gets a breast enlargement,  nobody says anything about it. If a man does something very similar to his body, it’s worth making a whole documentary about,” he says.

“People’s reactions are really different. I definitely get looks.”

Micha also confides that it can be difficult to tell  if his partners really love him or just his giant dick.

“There’s always that danger also in a relationship. But I think if you take the time to get to know the other person, then I can tell what I mean to him. Whether he really loves me or just part of me. And then I make a decision, which may be against the partner.”

You can watch the whole thing here. It’s NSFW, but you knew that already (the post continues after the video).

Now, we didn’t include this originally, but by very popular demand, we’ve included an image of Micha naked below (via VICE).

As for what it looks like from the front, Micha says, “I’ve been told that my penis looks like an ass or a mouth from the front.” How about that?

And to answer the one question that everyone keeps bombarding us with:

How does the penis affect Micha’s sex life? Apparently, “after you reach a certain size, you can’t do certain things any more. At least not with everyone and not without some foreplay. But there are other things you can do with it. You just have to free yourself from established roles and hardened ideas about sex and be ready to play.”

It turns out that there are a few unexpected options: “Of course you can penetrate my foreskin. A lot of guys have offered to do that. But I don’t get a lot out of that sexually.”

As for whether there are any drawback, Micha says his life is fairly ordinary, but “it isn’t as easy as buying a new pair of pants.”

And while we’re talking all things wang… Here are some things tat accidentally look like penises (you’re welcome):