'When my ex said these three words, I knew I had to dump him.'

There is a trend going around at the moment; a trend involving men. And while some are laughing it off, others are raising alarm bells.

It started with what seemed like two innocent photos that were posted to TikTok.

The first was of a man, and the caption read: "Sorry boys, I can't come out tonight. The missus said no."

The second was of a woman. This time, the caption read: "I'm the missus. I told him to go and have fun with his friends."

Watch: Relationship red flags. Post continues after video.

Lighthearted in its intention, the video received a mixed reaction. While many girlfriends in the comments found the scenario relatable, others saw it as a huge red flag.

Soon, the whole thing became a trend. Girlfriends everywhere began posting photos of their boyfriends with the same captions.

Him: "The missus said no." 

Her: "I told him to go have fun with the boys." 

It didn't take long for the trend to capture the attention of Abbie Chatfield, who was firmly in camp critic.

"If you relate to this trend and your partner uses you as an excuse to not see his friend, lies about you, throws you under the bus, makes out like you are controlling and crazy, if your partner does these things, I'm telling you, dump them," she said in a video response.

And that is exactly what Heidi* did when faced with the same scenario.

@abbiechatfield

Do not be with someone who would rather defame you than admit they like spending time w you??? GIRLS STAND UP

♬ original sound - Abbie Chatfield

The 28-year-old didn't realise her boyfriend was using her as an excuse until a group dinner.

"One of his friends made a joke about being shocked that I 'let him' come out. I kind of laughed it off and forgot about it, to be honest" she told Mamamia.

Until it happened again.

"At another party, one of his friend's girlfriends asked if I was feeling better. I had no idea what she was talking about, so I asked, and I found out that my partner had told her boyfriend that I was sick the other day, and had made him stay home to look after me. Which I didn't."

Heidi had never been one to tell her partner that he couldn't go to any event — or at least, certainly not in the way he had made it seem.

"There were times when I'd ask him to stay in, like if I was really sick, or we had plans together, but it was never a demand. It was always a conversation, and he had the choice.

"He would just straight-up lie that I had said 'no' because he didn't want to go, so he used me as a scapegoat," she said.

"I was never even the type to check up on him constantly. If he wanted to go out, go. If I wanted to go out, I would go."

When Heidi confronted her partner about it, he brushed it off. Soon, she recognised it as a pattern of behaviour. Whenever he didn't want to hang out with his mates, he would rely on the same three words: "Heidi said no."

"I told him it made me look controlling, and we went back and forth for a bit, but he got defensive, which really annoyed me," Heidi said.

"I think he was too much of a coward to just say, 'I don't feel like coming' or 'I want to spend time with Heidi'. He probably thought his friends would hassle him, so instead of owning his decisions, he made me the bad guy."

Heidi tried pointing out the double standard, but it fell on deaf ears.

"I said to him, 'If I told my friends that you said I couldn't come out, they would tell me to dump you, because that is controlling behaviour. So what must your friends think of me?' But he got defensive and said that his friends 'don't think like that.'"

Eventually, Heidi realised something had to change.

"There were already issues in our relationship, but this was the final straw. Especially because he didn't really take accountability for it. I realised we weren't a partnership, and I needed someone who wouldn't throw me under the bus because it was 'easier.'"

When Abbie Chatfield responded to the trend, she said that men who use their girlfriend as an "excuse" are trying to seem cool to their guy friends by diminishing how much they like spending time with their partner.

"They would rather make you look bad than admit, 'I actually love my girlfriend and I'd rather hang out with her.' That means two things. A, they're weak, but B, they see loving you as a weakness."

This is something that really hit home for Heidi.

"I think a lot of men, like women, are conditioned to seek male validation above all else," she said. "You know, they don't want to seem 'whipped' because it's emasculating.

"At the end of the day, I just don't want to be with someone who thinks loving me is something to be embarrassed about."

Feature Image: Getty.

*Heidi's name has been changed for privacy reasons.