The world's "top male escort" has shared the five weirdest things he's ever been asked to do.

A man claiming to be the “number one male escort in the world” (although we’re a little dubious about how such titles are decided) has opened up about his work in a Reddit Ask Me Anything. Under the name “AussieMaleEscort”, he reveals the strangest experiences he’s had with clients.

1. “Ballbusting”.

“I used to have a client who was into ballbusting,” AussieMaleEscort writes. “He’d arrive and with very little chit chat etc take of (sic) his jeans but leave his underwear and the rest of his clothes on and stand with his feet shoulder width apart and his hands behind his back and I’d stand in front of him fully dressed with my shoes on and kick him repeatedly in the balls.”

Listen to Luke Williams share his experiences as a male sex worker. 

2. Clients who don’t shower.

“I’ve outright refused to see people… when they’ve arrived at my place dirty and smelly and refused to shower,” he reveals when asked if he’d ever refused a client.

“None of [it] happens often. Just a few times in the entire time I’ve been escorting.”

3. Tickling fetishes. 

“I used to see a tickling fetishest where I had to squirm and giggle and pretend to be ticklish while he tickled me (actually not ticklish at all).”

4. This… insanity. 

“I see a regular who’s always tied to the bed and blindfolded by his TS domme [translation: transsexual dominatrix] when I arrive. Other male escorts see him before and after me. He just lies there restrained and unable to move all evening being f***ed by one male escort after another.”

5. And the worst experience he’s ever had with a client.

Warning: NOT for anyone with a weak stomach.

“Once a client came who wanted me to fist his ass,” AussieMaleEscort writes.

“He brought his own gloves and some weird lube sold as an aid for helping farm animals give birth. Very icky texture to it. He took my fist but it became apparent that he hadn’t douched or had an enema. There was shit halfway up my arm, on my sheets etc. It was bad.”

“I sent him to the bathroom to clean up and whatever he did in there resulted in my shower drain being blocked. He was in there up to his ankles in shitty water, still filthy and couldn’t run the shower more without flooding my bathroom. I kept my calm but when he saw my face and I saw his reaction I guess he must have glimpsed the blood rage within. He cleaned himself as best he could with a towel (which went in the bin) paid and left post haste. I plungered, drain cleanered, triple bleached and rinsed every surface, showered very thoroughly and swore never to accept a fisting booking again.”

Allllllllrighty then.