Mamamia recap MAFS: Jacqui's sitting on a throne of lies.

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Welcome back! If, like me, you need something to distract you from reliving this week's The White Lotus, then you're in luck. It's Married at First Sight night, baby!

ICYMI: Paul accidentally cheated on Carina out of sheer 'curiosity' and she kicked him out. She is 'done' and wants to leave the show. Paul is still defending his right to be 'curious' but admits he regrets going on a date with Hannah. Ya think!

The rest of the couples are given their final test week challenge.

Dave decides he doesn't want to 'jeopardise' his relationship with Jamie because she is his 'perfect match'. Okay, cute!

Jamie is just shocked that they found more than one person to be her match. She defends her right to be a 'nosy bitch' and finds out who her alt groom would be. But don't worry, it's not a 'date', it's a 'meet', and she's wearing sneakers and not heels, so it's totally fine!

I don't know about this. If the shoe was on the other foot (even if that shoe was some smart casual footwear), I don't think Jamie would be cool if Dave dated someone else.

'It's not cheating if I'm wearing flats!' Image: Nine.

She compares dating a man who isn't her husband with freaking out that you've lost your birth certificate. Jamie downs a few glasses of Pinot Grigio before a producer tells her that her date ditched her at the last minute. LOL.

Jamie reunites with Dave to tell him what happened. "I didn't want to go there to gain clarity on you… I just thought what a weird experience," she tells him.

This math ain't mathing, girlie.

Anyways, Dave bursts into laughter when he finds out she was stood up. Thankfully for Jamie, he's secure enough to 'trust' that Jamie wasn't trying to actually date that man.

Hot Dave is so back! Image: Nine.

In a separate apartment, Jacqui is missing watching Ryan when he watches TV shows. She doesn't want to give up on their relationship.

Ryan decides in the 'harrowing conundrum' of final test week, he will go on a date but can't stop fretting about how Jacqui will take it.

But never fear, Jacqui is too busy meeting up with her own date.

Ryan meets with Vivienne, who instructs him to 'cheer with intention' to her going to Japan soon. Ryan immediately starts mansplaining samurai swords to her.

A montage of Ryan with his samurai sword plays and Y'ALL ARE SO UNSERIOUS for this. This is peak comedy.

And also… sword. Image: Nine.

The way this man would have had to film this separate montage.

I AM LAUGHING.

I CAN'T BREATHE.

Vivienne tunes him out as he gets giddy over the fact she has a vision board at home, like ummm… precisely 90 per cent of millennial women.

Ryan does talk a lot about Jacqui. "That's nice, babe," Vivienne awkwardly offers.

Jacqui meets up with Rory, who works in sports media and does PT. She is immediately drawn to his 'rosy cheeks' and sweet demeanour.

He's not a cheerful garden gnome, Jacqui!

Get back on topic, Jacqui! Image: Nine.

Jacqui is ready to uproot her whole life for Rory because he reads non-fiction books and the newspaper. Ladies, the bar isn't low — the bar is in hell.

"If you want to give me your number…" Jacqui asks. "I'll be out of this experiment in 10 days." Oop! Says the woman who just said she wanted to fight for Ryan.

Jacqui and Ryan reunite to swap their date stories. He makes it clear that he was simply looking for relationship insights from Vivienne but didn't swap numbers or anything.

Ryan is shook to find out Jacqui went on a date too, questioning why she did that when she voted to stay. Jacqui admits Rory was compatible, but adds there was 'no flirting', neglecting to mention they swapped numbers.

Jacqui then presents Ryan with a new list of his attributes, which includes him having a good smile, giving crazy facial reactions (is that a good thing?), providing good pats, having great posture, and noticing that he 'stands well'.

Ryan loves it!

'I didn't say you talk well, did I?' Image: Nine.

He agrees to move back in. Omg, these two are heading into final vows, aren't they?? Good lord. The awkward part is that Ryan will be going into final vows without knowing Jacqui just swapped digits with another bloke. Huge yikes.

Awhina bursts into tears as she worries that if she doesn't participate in the task and Adrian does, she'll be crushed.

She breaks down talking about her son and the sacrifices she's made to be on the show. I love this woman and hate what she's been put through!

Adrian cares more about being the 'bad guy' than actually considering Awhina's feelings. So of course, he does it. "What's one more task, right?" he sneers. This man!

He meets Maxine and they bond about how the sun rises and they both live in Sydney.

'Omg, love that!' Image: Nine.

Awhina decided to go on a date after realising she had major doubts about Adrian (as she should). She meets Tim, who is the opposite of Adrian: he would embrace her son, he is open to relocating for love, he speaks in complete sentences and doesn't verbally attack her every time they interact. What a concept!

"Tim asked me more questions about my life in one day than I got in six months from Adrian," she notes.

Adrian and Awhina reunite to share their date stories. He talks about how attractive Maxine was before telling Awhina he doesn't care she went on a date with Tim.

"There is not an inch of jealousy in my body," he tells her.

She details why it's actually concerning they both participated in the challenge.

"Whatever!" Adrian thoughtfully replies. What a delight.

Jeff and Rhi enjoy each other's company instead of spending time with some rando the MAFS producers found. They're the only couple who both stayed loyal to each other which is umm… grim!

Next episode, all the couples fight about their decisions at the dinner party. Woo hoo! Let's go!

Feature image: Nine.