Mamamia recaps MAFS: The most chaotic dinner party this year, darling.

Keen for all the latest Married At First Sight gossip? Keep an eye on our MAFS hub here.

Pour one out for all the Married at First Sight we've endured watched thus far, because this is second-last dinner party of the season.

Time flies when you're barely holding on by a thread, hey?! (Just me?)

Ahead of the dinner party, Dave gifts Jamie a $400 'rich people' perfume (albeit still in its bag from Mecca) and he's quickly won her back. All is forgiven!

I think it was Shakespeare who first wrote that an overpriced fragrance heals all wounds.

Beth ain't feeling good about where she stands with Teejay. In fact, she regrets bringing him back to meet her family for homestays.

Teejay tells Beth: "It's not like we hate each other, or anything", which absolutely BOGGLES my mind.

What is going on with these men, who seem to think that telling a woman he doesn't HATE HER is some sort of compliment?

I'm unwell! I can't go on in these circumstances!

Make it make sense, darling! Image: Nine.

Beth has ditched her wedding ring and says she wants to arrive alone, BUT they walk in together anyway. Methinks this man doesn't want to face the group alone (and/or face any consequences) which is… actually pretty smart.

Jacqui is still reeling from Ryan's friends attacking her, and says she is 'disgusted' that Ryan didn't defend her. "I've realised supporting him as my husband is a detriment to the world," she states.

A few weeks ago, this would have stunned me. These days? I don't bat an eye. I've been positively Jacquied.

Meanwhile, Ryan is ready to end it all. "Nothing can make this right between us," he tells a producer. "NOTHING!" I add, for dramatic effect.

Awhina and Adrian arrive first — usually an honour bestowed on the most solid couple. What is happening?? THE WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN.

Thankfully, Rhi and Jeff are up next to save us all.

Jeff and Rhi: our only hope this season (derogatory). Image: Nine.

On the flip-side, Beth tells the girls about how Teejay told his friends he didn't see a future with Beth instead of, well… telling Beth that. Jamie is activated!

Ryan is singing little songs to himself on the way there as Jacqui plots his demise. She fills the group in on what happened with Ryan's friends shouting at her, but they don't believe a word she says.

"Ola!" Ryan inexplicably shouts as he enters the room. Jacqui asks if he has anything he wants to say to her; he waits until dinner to answer the question.

At the table, Ryan recounts the events of the homestays. He also tells them that Jacqui asked him to shave his beard, before threatening to shave it off in his sleep.

"His body, his choice," Adrian bizarrely offers. Alrighty my guy, it's time for you to never say things you don't understand — aka all the things.

'I just have to get permission from my warrior life coach first!' Image: Nine.

Ryan continues to list the other incidents, like the 'small brain' comment and how Jacqui made judgemental asides about his home and dog. He relays the lunch with his friends. Ryan says that while he doesn't condone how they behaved, he denies that they yelled at her, when, umm… they definitely did.

But it doesn't matter what Jacqui says. The whole group is against her. Every time she says something that happened, they're all, 'But how did you cause that reaction?' which is not great.

That said, Jacqui does deny a few things that she definitely did, like disparaging Ryan's career in her letter.

Jeff rightly calls out Jacqui, and says he can vouch for what she wrote in the letter. It's awkward, because Jacqui seemingly didn't count of MAFS' resident fact-checker Jeff to prove she was lying to the group.

The group gang up on Jacqui, and she starts laughing. Teejay asks her to 'own up' to her mistakes, and she replies that she is 'too honest'. Oh, Jacqui.

Jacqui is sorry that people are so jealous of her when she can't help that she's popular. Image: Nine.

Jacqui pulls Ryan aside to try to resolve their feud privately. She gets choked up reliving the awful friend lunch, demands an apology, tells him "I'm doing you a favour," and says that he is acting below her standards.

"Why don't you want to be someone great?" she actually asks him. It's a super weird way to talk to someone!

To his credit, Ryan does stay quite calm, and tells her, simply, that she doesn't like him for who he is.

She says she is his 'Eve' and he is her 'Adam' and then asks: "Is there anything here [gestures at her body] that you want to spend more time with?"

I'm at a loss…

They go in circles until Jacqui apologises and hugs Ryan. He's clearly loving her warm embrace.

The lights are on but no one's home. Image: Nine.

I don't know what to do with this couple anymore, but they do occupy more of my brain space than I care to admit.

I will note that Beth has been especially vocal against Jacqui tonight, while failing to mention what an awful time she had with Ryan during the couple-swap task. Fancy that!

Speaking of Beth, she says she felt 'blindsided' by Teejay. The group question Teejay, and every time he answers, he calls Beth 'darling'.

DARLING, FIND A DIFFERENT WORD.

Beth wants Teejay to be sure about her, but he doesn't like that he's being asked hard questions like, 'Do you see a future together?'.

'SO MANY QUESTIONS, DARLING. I CAN'T TAKE IT, DARLING.' Image: Nine.

Teejay can't answer anyone's questions, but he does show his hand at one point. Beth asks him why he's still here, and he says, 'Well… it's a dinner party.' And that says it all.

This man is staying for one reason and one reason only: he is filming a TV show.

Separating from the group, he says all her (very normal) questions are making him, err, 'claustrophobic'.

HE'S CLAUSTROPHOBIC, DARLING.

Beth wants him to be straight-up with her if he wants to leave. He can't even answer that question.

Nothing is resolved! Beth gets no answers! Bring on the commitment ceremony, darling!

Feature image: Nine.