Mamamia recaps MAFS: Never let this couple come to your wedding.

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Ring the alarm Married at First Sight fans because it's time for an INTRUDER ALERT.

Yep, MAFS must be rather grim this season because they're already having to drop intruders in to shake some life out of the cast.

But first of all, British Billy and Sierah have separated… well, they're in separate apartments. He ain't happy about Sierah having deep convos with Adrian and neither is Awhina.

I am confused. As much as I'm the last person on earth who would defend Adrian, is he not allowed to speak to another woman? And can she not confide in another man?

It's not great but where is the cheating in this cheating saga cos I ain't seeing it?? Sierah knows something is amiss after she is questioned by a producer.

"Is this going to turn into a narrative that Adrian and I have got something going on?" an exhausted Sierah asks a producer.

'If they can make room for a sugar baby, I'm down.' Image: Nine.

Yes Sierah, that's exactly what is happening. I'm tired too!

Jacqui is back on her bulls**t. She is typing away a list of all her grievances against Ryan.

She reads him the list which includes the fact that when she got dropped on her head at their wedding, she was taken to a paramedic, and Ryan didn't even check on her.

I mean, that is rich coming from the same man who spent that time ranting about how he 'protects women'.

She outlines his 'crazy eyes' insults, refusal to do household upkeep, and not buying her flowers. Jacqui is getting an edit like she's unhinged but these are all… quite fair expectations for a partner.

Ryan ends up storming off when she tells him that he didn't offer to pay for breakfast on their first date.

Meanwhile, Jacqui texted Jeff to catch up without Rhi. Another cheating scandal? Ugh, I don't have the mental capacity for that.

It's Rhi and Jeff's time to, err… do something! Image: Nine.

Jacqui, I try to defend you but then you do the things you do.

But who cares! Intruder couples are here. UK bride Beth is 'single as f**k', she's never had a boyfriend before, and the 28-year-old wants to start a family of her own.

She's matched with 'Grindian' (aka Greek and Indian but sounds like a Harry Potter house) man Teejay. He's also 28 and keen to settle down and bring more little Grindians into the world.

As is tradition, the OG couples head to their wedding. Jamie is thrilled.

When the personality hire just wants a goddamn day off. Image: Nine.

"I don't have a dress! I'm pale! I'm not going!" she screams. This is me literally every time I'm asked on a Bumble date after telling a guy I'm 'spontaneous' (I sometimes lie).

Hot Dave carries her away like a baby to go get changed. I wish I was that baby.

The only couple hating life more are Jacqui and Ryan who are barely speaking. At the wedding, sparks seem to be flying between Beth and Teejay.

I wasn't fully paying attention because Carina looks like she was being strangled by Grimace.

Blink twice, Carina. Image: Nine.

Every single word of Teejay's vows is filling Jacqui with venom. She's ropeable. She argues with Ryan for the 108th time this season.

Jacqui grins at Ryan as she patronises him about how two strangers getting married was about them 'learning'. He's over it!

"I'm FRANKLY so disgusted with you," he tells her over and over at the table.

Ryan tells the group about Jacqui's typed list of issues.

"The document had different fonts!" he seethed. I mean, this is a very funny thing to be angry at.

Relax Ryan, Jacqui is trying to have a Helvetica good time. Image: Nine.

Jacqui asks Ryan 'why was I crying this morning,' and Rhi pipes up to say "You cry when there isn't a full-length mirror in the room!"

Again. This is very funny.

Jacqui's 'why was I crying' game goes on for a loooong time. Does the winner get a prize?? Do they get crowned the next Miss New Zealand??

The rest of the table tries to convince Ryan and Jacqui to split up. Jeff speaks more than I've ever heard Jeff speak.

Suddenly, Rhi drops that Jacqui had 'messaged Jeff behind my back.' I literally don't care.

I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

When will it end??? Image: Nine.

The table turns on Jacqui who starts hysterically sobbing. Jamie asks the question we are all wondering: why TF pick Jeff to text, of all people??

It's not really answered before Jacqui leaves Ryan and exits the table. It's all so dramatic. These two are the MAFS equivalent of that toxic couple in high school everyone hates.

At this point, we've all forgotten we are actually at an intruder couple's wedding. Beth pulls Teejay aside to say she's never been in a relationship. Big suspense! What will he say?! How will this go?!

He literally doesn't give two sh*ts.

The episode ends with Jacqui loudly sobbing and forcing Ryan to hug her.

'Read Atomic Habits then we'll talk!!' Image: Nine.

The intruder couple wasn't super into this random crying lady terrorising their wedding.

Sorry folks but that's just show business.

Next episode, ANOTHER groom has ghosted his wife. I'm not even kidding! I reckon by next week, the only groom left will be Hot Dave and I won't mind at all!

Feature image: Nine.