The Twins recap Married at First Sight: When your wife ruins a stranger's wedding.

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There's not much we know for sure.

But one thing we do know is that we absolutely do not need more weddings. 

We've had nine. Three of them have already failed. And it's like week three. 

When something isn't working we don't just keep doing it anyway. Ffs. 

But we're distracted because James has disappeared after last night's Commitment Ceremony. 

We get a flashback of James' joke and no don't, pls. We want to forget about it already.

His bed is still made. And he left his wedding ring behind. Jo thinks this is a Missing Persons situation, but honestly, if we made James' joke we would also go missing. Indefinitely. 

Jo keeps trying to call him and he won't answer and again if we made that joke we would not be answering our phones. 

In another apartment, Bryce wakes up still annoyed about last night. Which is mature.

Melissa tells the camera that when they got home last night Bryce told her "there's a lot I like about you". Apparently he's never said that before and she is STOKED and Jesus Christ the bar is staggeringly low. 

But PAUSE because James has been LOCATED inside his APARTMENT in which he has just returned. 

"I apologise for any confusion."

Jo says it's disrespectful to go missing for 24 hours especially when Jo had new and interesting criticisms to make about his s**t joke last night.

He asks why it's disrespectful to go missing when she is 'nothing' to him and EXCUSE YOU.

JO IS YOUR EXPERIMENTAL WIFE ON PRESTIGE REALITY TELEVISION SHOW MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT WHICH HAS NEVER WON A LOGIE OR ANY OTHER AWARD. 

But while their marriage falls apart, the experts are distracted by an exciting development. 

Mel. 

We need you to listen to us.

No more couples. 

NO LADY. 

Why don't we concentrate on the lives we're currently ruining rather than finding new people's lives to ruin?

First up they have Liam who they confidently match with Georgia... and you know the saying "have the confidence of a middle-aged white man"?

Yeah. Well our new motto is, "have the confidence of a Married at First Sight expert who has exclusively failed for seven seasons." Because that s**t is inspiring. 

Their next match is Johnny and Kerry, both who have been previously married and divorced. 

Weirdly, we like Kerry and Johnny. Thanks in no part at all to the experts, they seem like a good match. Our suspicion is that there were only two people left at the bottom of the pile and the only ones the experts didn't intentionally match. Which is why they're not a mess. 

Never heard of them. 

But excuse you because this year there is a TWIST. 

The current couples are invited to the weddings. They've never done this before on Married at First Sight and the question is should they be trialling... this kind of... mingling... during... COVID. 

Mel explains that every year they continue to raise the stakes in this experiment and DO YOU NOT SEE THAT AS A PROBLEM. 

At Liam and Georgia's wedding, a group of six strangers arrive and Patrick is grossly underdressed for the occasion.

Sir.

Liam and Georgia recite their vows and we remember that we were sick of vows literally six episodes ago. 

But Liam has a secret that he is very scared about sharing with his new bride.

He's bisexual.

That's it. That's the whole secret. 

As always, it's unclear why he needs to announce this to a stranger when they just met two hours ago but alas here we are. 

After discovering the six strangers at their wedding, Georgia and Liam introduce themselves. Beck asks some inaudible question and then someone mumbles "are you bisexual" which is a question never asked on MAFS before and Liam shouts "YES" while sweating profusely and wtf just happened. 

Everyone starts asking, "really REALLY really REALLYRELALALYLAELRLGLSFDHL" and for goodness sake control yourselves the man is bisexual. This is neither rare nor scandalous it's 2021 for christ's sake. 

Georgia is... fine with the revelation about Liam's sexuality, mostly because she's a normal person. 

Meanwhile, it's Kerry and Johnny's wedding day, and yes six strangers arrive in a van. 

EXCUSE US GLADYS.

Johnny puts together that the rogue wedding guests are current MAFS couples, and he's clearly concerned that a majority of them appear angry and broken. 

But during the ceremony, Jo in particular is very happy for the new couple.

All the well wishes idk

At their reception, Kerry and Johnny establish that they've both been married and divorced before, which they think will help them with this second marriage. Except this is nothing like your previous marriages in that it's not real - legally or socially. Or... philosophically. 

They do, however, seem to genuinely like each other? As did Georgia and Liam, which begs the question: did the experts randomly start trying with these last two couples? And if so... why didn't they start trying earlier.

But nevermind because Jo and James literally cannot look at each other during the wedding and this seems cruel, which we guess is on brand. 

At the reception, James yells that Kerry and Johnny make a 'great couple', but Jo is still pissed at him about the time he went missing. So she mutters (very loudly) "FROM THE OUTSIDE".

Jo.

"You’ll be happy for the first five days then the roller coaster will begin."

Jo. Why you say that out loud sweetie. Like everyone knows this won’t end well we don’t need to talk about it openly. We were all polite at your wedding. 

Aware that Jo is about to blow up a stranger's wedding, James asks if they can go for a chat. They discuss how they 'used to be' like Kerry and Johnny, and guys it's been three weeks not 47 years. You don't get to be... nostalgic. When you got married... earlier that month.

They decide to give their marriage another go, which sounds like a terrible idea. 

UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.

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In case you missed our previous recaps...

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 13: The most embarrassing thing we've ever seen.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 12: "I hope everyone in Australia hates your guts."

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 11: We're kind of... into this cheating scandal.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 10: You can't just force people to have sex.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 9. When you're a d**k to your wife on national television.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 8: The beginning of a dirty cheatin' scandal.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 7: How was any of that... allowed.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 6: John Aiken just changed the rules.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 5: When you see your match and can't stop crying.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 4: A bride just realised she had a one night stand.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 3: Precisely no girl wants to be told she's 'not ugly'.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 2: Coco's husband would like to be brutally honest.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 1: You can't just comment on someone's... teeth.