The Twins recap Married at First Sight: 'Mate. That was disgusting.'

March 30, 2021

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The couples are waking up on their holiday (from nothing) and there’s one person on everyone’s mind: Bryce.

We’re shown sweeping shots of the retreat but it’s like… no one’s going to use any of these facilities because there’s so much bitching to do about Bryce and so little time???

Over in Bryce and Melissa’s room, Bryce thinks they should handle all this conflict by being themselves and no offence but that’s a terrible idea.

Meanwhile, Bec believes Jake could’ve been the bigger person last night in his argument with Bryce, and we really fkn disagree.

... touché.

March 30, 2021

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But shh pls because we forgot Alana and Jason are no longer speaking. According to Jason, their relationship can’t come back from the fact that Alana betrayed his trust by telling everyone about the time he called Bryce’s behaviour ‘heroic’.

He’s responding with maturity and dignity, by refusing to leave his room. For the foreseeable future. Or at least until he can go home. Which seems excessive.

Bryce commends Jason for ‘having his back’ through ‘thick and thin’ and yeah dude look where that got him it literally cost him his marriage.

For Booka, however, everyone else’s f*cked marriages have led her to wonder if Brett is really that bad. Yes he bad-mouthed her on national television. Yes his best friend wrote her what can only be described as hate mail.

But compared to Bryce, and relatedly, Jason, maybe he’s… fine?

Congrats!

She asks him to come with her to feed the ducks, and they decide to start from scratch, as though they’re meeting for the first time. It sounds lovely, but also like something you shouldn’t need to do when you’re five weeks into your marriage.

Johnny and Kerry have taken on the role of peacekeepers and are spending the day with Melissa and Bryce, who they think actually make quite a good couple. We don’t mean to be rude but you guys just haven’t spent enough time with them? To see? All of it? Just trust the nation? When we say it’s f*cked?

But shut up because Bryce is doing sponsored content now.

Returning to the house after playing tennis, he casually says to the group, “We’ve got a bunch of YouFoodz meals in here,” and Sir we can guarantee you're not being paid enough.

But dear God WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL US.

As they’re eating their #YouFoodz, Bryce attempts to give Jason relationship advice. About Alana. Who he’s fighting with. Because she so passionately hates Bryce.

The group starts discussing whether Jason should have a chat with Alana tonight ‘one on one’ and… like yeah probably? Given that they’re married?

For reasons that are unclear, Johnny and Kerry throw a pizza night for everyone, and we don’t know if this is also sponsored content but we feel like someone is trying to sell us… (bad) homemade pizza.

....

no thank you.

They’re hoping everyone can put all the drama aside and just chill tonight, but what, no? Why?

Luckily, that’s impossible.

Bryce keeps muttering that the company is boring which seems quite impolite but fine. We guess you’re allowed to behave that way if that’s what your best behaviour… looks like.

Eventually Belinda has a few too many wines and yells that things are awkward and there’s an elephant in the room. Bryce demands to know why and it’s like okay five minutes ago you were telling people you were bored??

The group wants him to apologise for his aggression last night, but Bryce has a good point: What about Jake’s aggression. Which was in reaction to Bryce. What about that.

Well, Patrick says, Jake actually has apologised. At breakfast. This morning.

But Bryce is now angry that he wasn't invited to breakfast. Even though he is literally staying in a different property. That we're pretty sure doesn't even belong to the producers. Like he is staying in someone's house. Unrelated to Married at First Sight. And we feel like that's a worry??

Finally, Bryce stands up to address everyone. "I apologise to the whole group...” he says.

"That someone. Is playing mind games with my wife" and SIR THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE AND IT’S ALSO NOT A REAL APOLOGY.

'Idk just a vibe I'm getting.'

He then bizarrely says he’ll crown Jake the King of the Experiment and do you even know how this show works.

But then it happens.

He approaches Bec, saying “and you are the Queen,” and tries to kiss her on the cheek. She recoils and yells, “yuck that’s disgusting,” and in Bec’s defence Bryce why did you try and kiss her that was weird.

Melissa and Bryce return to their guest house (honestly the context around this property has not been fully explored), to the sound of Bec yelling “LEAVE. NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE”.

Back in their room, Melissa says to Bryce, “I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” and WHAT. WHAT DID HE GO THROUGH.

My condolences.

At this point, Jason is starting to understand that Bryce’s behaviour is… unacceptable. In fact, it makes him realise how horribly he spoke to his own wife, and he apologises, which seems lovely until he concludes the conversation with, “let’s have sex and lots of it”.

But shut up because Belinda is doing exactly what all of us have been wanting to do for weeks. She goes to visit Melissa and asks, frankly, what the f*ck she sees in Bryce.

Melissa explains that he’s funny, and charismatic, and can always put her in a good mood, and how about the time he ranked you fourth. Did that put you in a good mood.

Belinda shares that she’s organising a girls’ night and a boys’ night (under strict instruction from John Aiken), and that she’d love for Melissa to be there.

... please.

Ahead of the night, no one, NO ONE is more excited that Johnny, who is rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

But it becomes clear that Melissa and Bryce aren’t attending, which feels rude, given that they’re… 10 steps away. From the… event.

Belinda goes to check in on Melissa, who explains that because Bryce is “really miserable” she doesn't want to leave him. Belinda is clearly frustrated because there’s a serious lack of gossip without Melissa, and the gossip would probably be really good if she just came on her own and bitched about Bryce??

At the boys’ night, Liam is paid $55 by a producer to ask who the men would want to be matched with if their current partners didn’t exist. Which they very much do.

Everyone says Kerry, which makes Johnny proud.

Back in Melissa and Bryce’s apartment, they’re busy spending quality time together, playing Monopoly. And it’s the single saddest thing we’ve ever seen.

UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.

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In case you missed our previous recaps...

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 22: No one can stop yelling at Bryce.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 21: The most embarrassing decision we've ever seen.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 20: The man who single-handedly "ruined" a marriage.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 19: Booka just learned how much her husband dislikes her.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 18: When you break up in front of your parents.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 17: The most tone-deaf groom in MAFS history.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 16: Bryce 100%, without a doubt, has a secret girlfriend.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 15: The wife who can't stop insulting her 'grotty' husband.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 14: When your wife ruins a stranger's wedding.