At 20, MAFS' Katie Johnson tried to help someone. It ended in trauma she never thought she'd survive.

Content warning: This story details an alleged sexual assault.

For years, Katie Johnson has kept a devastating secret.

Behind the confident, self-assured woman we met on this season of Married At First Sight, there's a story of trauma, resilience, and a journey toward healing that she's never shared publicly — until now.

"It hasn't been an easy decision to do it," Katie, 37, told Mamamia of sharing her story on A Current Affair. "But I feel like I always weigh up what's the benefit versus the setback, and I feel like this is going to have way more benefit than setback. So I just went for it."

Katie Johnson opens up to A Current Affair. Post continues after video.

Katie was just 20 years old, working nights at a bar to save money to open her second massage therapy clinic. She had big dreams, a solid plan, and her whole life ahead of her.

Then one night, a group from the New Zealand Navy came into the bar.

When her shift ended, one of the men approached her in the parking lot with a story about being stranded. His friends had left, he claimed, heading to the same area where Katie lived.

Could he possibly get a lift?

"It wasn't exactly a stranger because we'd been talking all night at the bar," Katie explained. "So there was a sense of familiarity."

It's the kind of split-second decision so many of us have made to be kind, to help someone out.

But that decision led to a horrific assault in her own home, one that Katie still finds difficult to talk about. As she recounted the details, her voice wavered.

"Sorry if I get emotional," she said. "Whenever I relive it, it just brings it all back."

Katie tried to do a good deed. Instead, it ended with her being violated.

"I got pinned into this pillowtop mattress and I felt like I was trapped," she said.

Katie tried to fight. She said no. But it was no use, he was too strong.

"My whole body just went limp and numb," she said.

Terrified, Katie gave up, hoping if she didn't resist it would make it end quicker.

In the aftermath, Katie's world imploded. She isolated herself for two weeks, only leaving her apartment when a severe UTI forced her to seek medical help.

"I blurted out then like 'I think I've been raped,'" she recalled of her hospital visit.

Katie on MAFS. Image: Channel Nine.

It took time for Katie to understand the gravity of the situation.

"The Hollywood version of it is like, you fight your way down and they beat you up," she said. "You don't see... there's no communication around what can happen in all these situations."

This confusion was only compounded when she eventually sought help from a psychologist who cautioned against reporting the assault.

"She said to me, 'If I was in your position, I wouldn't (press charges) because they're just going to make it your fault and you have no proof,'" Katie said. "I took that as, 'It's your fault.'"

What followed was a complete life upheaval. Katie abandoned her thriving business, left her life, and fled across the country to Canberra — as far from any Navy ports as possible.

"I bailed on my business. I left my clients all high and dry... and just ghosted everyone in my life. And I felt really ashamed of that," she admitted.

There, she threw herself into studying philosophy and psychology, desperate to understand both her attacker's mindset and her own response to trauma.

"I wanted to understand what I'd been through and how I, for lack of a better word, how I was in this position mentally... I blamed myself. Why did I not understand what had happened to me? What the f*** happened?"

Katie says she finally feels ready to tell her story. Image: Instagram/itswildbykatie.

The armour we build.

Katie shared that she has always had a complicated relationship with her body, as she was bullied for being on the heavier side as a girl.

Then, in her 20s, a relationship ended with her partner body-shaming her.

This made her relationship with food more complicated.

When the pandemic shutdown her thriving hospitality business, which she later had to liquidate, she felt as if life couldn't get worse.

"I really started to binge-eat and just go, if I'm going to be judged for my physical appearance, I'm going to give them something to judge," she said.

"I think I'd given up on life and I was like, f*** it. I'm just going to be the nothing that the universe is forcing me to be."

In her mind, protection came in the form of weight gain. It was a physical barrier between herself and potential harm.

"I realised that it was my physical armour and it's the thing that makes me feel safe," she explained. "Different people manage their trauma in different ways."

This dark period led to depression, anxiety medication, and thoughts of ending her life. Her beloved dog became her reason to keep going — until she had to put him down too.

"That was like the worst pain I've ever felt actually, having to say goodbye to him because he'd seen me through this," Katie shared, the emotion evident in her voice.

Image: Instagram/itswildbykatie.

Finding herself on MAFS.

When Katie applied for MAFS, she believed she had reached a turning point. After years of internal work, affirmations, and healing practices, she felt ready for love.

"I got myself to a place where I was like, I really f**** like who I am. I'm a great person and I am a strong person and I'm f****** resilient," she said.

"I still had weight on me because I hadn't really sorted that side of things out because that's my armour. I can't take off my armour. I'm not ready for that."

Many of us watched as Katie's pairing with self-proclaimed "nice guy" Tim Gromie quickly deteriorated on screen, marked by Tim's admission that he didn't feel a "spark" for Katie and his expressed preference for a different physical type. (Specifically, "petite and blonde".)

What we didn't see was the complex emotional landscape beneath those interactions.

"It was another f***ing blow to the system," Katie said of the experience. "But the only difference between this blow and all the others was that I felt really unaffected by it."

That moment represented real growth.

"I'm not going to ever let another person reduce me to my physical assets," she said.

Katie said watching herself on MAFS, she realised how strong she truly was. Image: Channel Nine.

Watching herself on MAFS was a revelation for Katie.

"I saw myself as a strong, capable, independent woman with some work to do," she reflected.

But she also saw something else.

"I realised I'm not physically at my best, and I've been avoiding that part of my life for a really long time," Katie said.

She realised her "armour" had helped her feel safe but she was "sending myself to an early grave".

Recent health scans showed concerning levels of visceral fat, prompting another shift in Katie's self-love journey.

"I was just like, 'This is not good. Katie, what have you done?'" she shared. "I'm so much better than what my body was showing me."

Now, Katie is committed to getting physically healthy, while maintaining the emotional healing she's worked so hard for. She's assembled a support team and is already seeing progress.

"I want my mental, my emotional, my physical all taken care of," she said. "And I'm the only one that can take care of it."

In sharing her story, Katie hopes to connect with others who might be struggling with their own trauma or self-acceptance journeys.

"I really want people to realise that no matter where they're at in life or how little they have around them, or how much everyone else seems to have their sh*t together, you can still self-love where you're at," she said. "It's not a feeling reserved for the wealthy."

As for finding love again? Katie's not sure that's part of her immediate future.

"I'm not convinced anymore that finding a man is going to be part of my journey," she admitted. "Until I feel like I really have that self-love cup overflowing, I'm actually not interested."

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, help is available. Contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or visit 1800respect.org.au

Feature image: Instagram/itswildbykatie and Nine.