"Sorry, but Love Island UK is the best thing on TV right now, and 5 million people agree."

I have a confession. I have watched no less than 31 episodes of a UK television series that goes against everything I believe in.

But please, before you raise a brow at my low-brow television appetite, hear me out.

For those unacquainted with the perfection that is Love Island, this show is a delicious cocktail of Bachelor in Paradise, Geordie Shore and Big Brother. 

It sees 12 contestants enter a villa and “couple up” with each other as they try to find their perfect match.

Some of them are literally 20 years old. They tell us they want to find ‘the one’. We – the very dedicated viewers – don’t believe them and that’s okay. We go along with it anyway.

As the days and weeks go on, new “bombshells” intrude as they try to tempt the original contestants to stray away from their couple.

Contestants get “dumped” from the villa along the way, and the last couple standing wins 50,000 pounds (AU$89,550).

It is unequivocally both the most trashy and tasty thing on TV right now, and five million people agree with me.

Yes, five million people. That is the average number of viewers that tune in to Love Island each night in England.

So what is so good about it?

Ahem.

Firstly, there is a woman named Maura who is the best reality TV contestant in the history of reality TV. She can't quite pronounce her "th"'s and if you dare shame her for being open about her sex life, she will  have no guilt in calling you out in front of the entire villa (and world).

She has become the unexpected feminist icon this show needed.

Maura: strong, sexy, SAVAGE ????????????#LoveIsland @LoveIsland Tonight 9pm @ITV2 pic.twitter.com/acUmhaQ1HF

— ITV2 (@itv2) June 28, 2019

Secondly, the cheating. So much cheating. 

You see, there is this thing called Casa Amor. It is a separate villa, where the producers decide half-way through the season they will seperate the boys and girls, and give them a whole new set of contestants to couple up with (if they so choose).

It sees certain individuals tell their partners, "You have nothing to worry about", before proving they have precisely everything to worry about.

This season, in particular, has delivered more couple swapping than ever before.

Thirdly, this show can in fact be educational.

Because have you heard of the sex position "the eagle"? Or are you aware of the definition of a "dead ting"? And did you know that... actually, I haven't learnt anything past that.

Okay, OKAY. This is no David Attenborough documentary. (Although we did see two lizards breeding on the show the other night).

I'd like to recouple with this lizard because... #LoveIsland pic.twitter.com/3lmR5jcaYr

— Love Island (@LoveIsland) July 4, 2019

But my point stands... it is the entertainment value of this show that is unlike any other.

Love Island is my brain candy; a brief relief from real life.

Occasionally, I find myself speaking with a British accent because my addiction has gotten that bad, and I'm okay with that.  I'm not ashamed, not even a little bit.

So if you're in need of a little break, then gurl, do I have the show for you.

You can stream Love Island UK on 9now. It is currently half-way through the season, so you can binge it before the finale.

You're very welcome.