'Moments of severe heartache.' 6 women in long-distance relationships on how they're coping.

The coronavirus pandemic has invariably reshaped the lives of approximately 7.8 billion people. Within the web of the world’s population, it has changed our routines and relationships and forced us into isolation like never before. 

For some, it’s a manageable adjustment from what their lives used to look like. For others, it’s seen them fall to life-shattering lows. And for the millions of people who are separated from their loved ones for an unknown amount of time, it feels like their heart is being physically pulled out of their chest, longing to being in the arms of their partners. 

Mamamia spoke to women from around the world who are in long-distance relationships. They told us when they last saw their partners, how they're coping and what they do to stay positive. 

Watch: What you're like dating virtually, according to your star sign. Post continues below. 

Here's what they had to say. 

LaToya

LaToya with her partner, Craig. Image: Supplied.   

My partner, Craig and I have not seen each other since November 20, 2019. We’ve been together for almost a year and a half. I live in Houston, Texas and he lives in Melbourne, Australia. 

Craig and I were coping fine with the distance until Melbourne went into stage three restrictions and now stage four lockdown. The extension of the restrictions made us both angry. We were trying to start the process to have me come to Melbourne, but will wait until the new year now. We have plans to marry in September 2021.

It is extremely difficult to stay positive when the love of your life is not coping well. I’ve lost track of the number of pep talks I’ve had to give Craig.

The only positive thing out of this whole mess is us trying our best to keep eachother strong and positive. We are focusing on why we’re together, and what we can do to STAY together and beat the odds. 

Ellie

Ellie with her partner, Leo. Image: Supplied. 

My partner Leo and I have been apart since February. He went back to France when his Visa ran out and then the pandemic hit shortly after. At first we weren't too stressed as we didn't know how long the pandemic would last. I wrote an article back in May detailing the uncertainty I felt at that point - but I think there was still some optimism back then. Three months on and not only has nothing changed but I feel like the uncertainty has heightened, especially with the second wave in Victoria and cases popping up all over the country.

To add to this, dates of when the international borders will open are constantly being thrown around the news cycle. Sometimes it's January, other times "mid-next-year" is the vague timeline we can cling onto.

Leo and I really try to be as positive as possible as we know that we can't control the situation, only how we react to it. But of course, there are still moments of severe pain, longing and heartache that I feel on a daily basis.

Postcards, gifts and FaceTimes suffice for now - because that's all we have.

Zoe

Zoe with her boyfriend, Raphael. Image: Supplied. 

My partner Raphael and I have been together since the day we met in Marrakech back in December 2018. Obviously 'together' is a loose term as we've lived 16,000km apart for about 90 per cent of our time together. He studies and lives in Göttingen, Germany and I work full time in Sydney, Australia.

I can't deny how difficult it has been. A long distance relationship is hard enough without throwing a worldwide pandemic in the mix. 

However, it hasn't been as hard as I expected. We both have an end goal and a timeline as to when we will finally be able to live together and properly commence our lives together. We have scheduled movie nights where we tile our screens and have video call/a movie playing. Usually they end prematurely with me falling asleep in front of the screen, but it's the time together that counts.

We've missed huge moments in each other's lives. Raphael turned 30 last month, and the best I could do was send him five kilos of Dutch Gouda. He sent me a Spätzle maker which made my month. We're still hopelessly in love and all we can do is just wait out these unprecedented times.

Kaylah

Lou and her partner. Image: Supplied. 

I met my now-fiancé in England over two years ago and we have been separated since March 25th 2020.

I returned home to Australia when the pandemic hit and he continued with his plan to send some time in New Zealand (he’s a permanent resident). 

 Having him so close and yet so far away is the most heartbreaking experience of our lives. We are currently waiting on the outcome of his subclass 300 prospective marriage visa before we get to experience the joys of having a travel exemption application repeatedly rejected. 

Living apart from my other half for so long has felt like I am not even living and the fact that our struggles are not part of the conversation just eats away at us. 

Every day I cannot decide if I am more upset over missing the love of my life or worrying that this feeling of falling apart isn’t reason enough to feel so defeated. I am so worried that despite my unconditional love for my fiancé, we may not make it. And if we do, then our relationship will never be the same. For better or worse.

Lou

Lou with her partner, Federico. Image: Supplied. 

I live in Sydney, Australia and my partner Federico lives in Zurich, Switzerland. We were both living in Germany last year, and came home to Australia over Christmas to visit friends and family. 

Fede had to fly back in January for work, so I stayed a couple of months longer to spend more time with my family as I hadn’t seen them in ages. A week before I was due to fly, the travel ban was placed on Australia and I now haven’t seen him since January.

We cope by speaking every day and having our dates via Zoom. I eat dinner when he is eating breakfast. I go home as he is going to work. It feels like an endless cycle and I can’t wait to see him again. Our love is strong enough to survive this. 

We did long distance before, and we will do it again! 

Lynn

Lynn with her partner, Dean. Image: Supplied. 

Dean and I met in 2018 in Hawaii while he was there on an Australian Air Force exercise and I was there on vacation. We met at a happy hour and chatted for quite a long time before we went our separate ways. When I returned home to Virginia, there was a message in Facebook waiting for me.  

Dean came back to the US a few months later for another Air Force trip and we met again. We had been talking daily for months at this point and when we met the second time it was very clear we had found something special. 

We were meant to get married in California on September 12, 2020, but that's now been postponed to next year. 

Dean and I haven't seen each other since December 1, 2019. It has been very hard.  We kept our spirits high initially; we knew it was beyond our control.  However, now that our separation has dragged on for so long we are both suffering. I am so grateful that Dean and I have a strong relationship because I can see how this would, and has, torn apart relationships.  

We are both significantly stressed- emotionally, mentally, physically. It is truly devastating to be separated from your love, especially during one of the happiest moments of your lives together (we've been apart for the majority of our engagement).  We're exhausted and demoralised. We so badly want to be together. 

 I can't bare the idea of spending the holidays apart. I can hardly think about it without crying. So, now we start the process: researching how to put together an exemption request package. We're going to give everything we have to try and see each other this December. We're both crushed with this lengthy separation, especially with no end in sight and no light at the end of the tunnel.

Our love will prevail; we are so fortunate to have a strong relationship. But, we are both struggling so much. I feel deeply for the families and relationships who are also struggling. 

Are you in a long-distance relationship? Let us know how you are coping in the comments section below!

Feature image: Supplied.

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