I pushed my husband to make new friends. I didn't expect it to end our marriage.'

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"I felt like all I kept reading about was this male loneliness epidemic," explained Sophie*. 

"And then I'd look at Martin*, who could go months on end without meeting up with a friend for a beer, and realise it was a real thing." 

The 'male loneliness epidemic' describes a growing challenge many men face: finding it increasingly difficult to maintain meaningful friendships beyond their romantic relationships.

For Sophie, who noticed her husband beginning to gradually withdraw from things he once enjoyed, it hit home. 

"I'd organise barbecues with my friends and their husbands and kids, and he'd always be polite and chat with the other dads, but I could tell he missed having friends with a shared interest that he could hang out with," she said.

Sophie says Martin was and is a dedicated father, who'd often say "I only need you guys" when she gently pushed him to develop his social life a little more.

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"He would never begrudge me the chance to go out with my own girlfriends, and understood it was something I needed in my life, but whenever I suggested he catch up with an old friend, he'd put it off, or it just wouldn't line up. It's like he kind of forgot how to run a social calendar over the years," she said.

Keen to help her husband engage more with life but unsure how to help, when Sophie heard about a local soccer league she thought it sounded like a perfect fit. 

"Some of the school mums were talking about a team their husbands had started up, and I knew it would be right up his alley if I could just get him there," she said. 

The next Thursday night, Martin headed off for his first casual game.

"He was always super athletic in his twenties and thirties," said Sophie, "and when he got back from the soccer game, all sweaty and flushed, he actually looked really happy. I was thrilled for him." 

Sophie says the months that followed cemented soccer as a new hobby for Martin, who, for his part, seemed to be thriving within his newfound social group. 

"They'd often go to the pub together after playing a match, and then a couple of the guys on his team started a running club on weekends that he joined as well," Sophie continued, "and I can honestly say, hand on heart, I was genuinely thrilled for him. He was in a better mood around the house, was in great shape, and I thought I was the best wife in the world for encouraging him to 'get out there'."

Then, Martin's new running group — made up mostly of team members from his soccer team — decided to enter a triathlon together. 

"A whole group of them booked to go interstate to compete in the race together, and booked an Airbnb for the weekend," explained Sophie, saying she didn't think other partners and spouses were attending. 

"I didn't think anything of it again," she said, "until he literally didn't call or check in for the entire weekend he was gone." 

When Martin came home, Sophie knew something was wrong from the second he put down his keys. 

"He wouldn't look me in the eye, said his phone had been playing up," she said. 

"I went off. I knew he was hiding something — but stupidly, I thought it was that he must have done drugs or something, which he knows I'm very against. I was completely blindsided when he caved and told me he'd slept with someone." 

Martin had fallen for a woman on his soccer team. 

"I'd met her a handful of times, she was married as well," said Sophie. 

"I couldn't compute it — how had this happened? How do you get the time to 'fall' for someone in-between blows of the ref's whistle at soccer?"

"He started crying, told me he had fallen out of love with me a long time ago," said Sophie sadly. 

"We separated about four weeks later. It was heavy and sad, and I was almost too devastated to be angry at first — although that didn't last. Now I'm furious."

It's been months since the day Sophie found out about the affair, and still, she can't understand how it happened. 

"I just thought there would be some kind of sign, looking back, that I would realise had been a red flag," she said, "but honestly, I never thought he was the cheating type — after all, he never bloody went anywhere!" 

While the pair co-parents amicably, Sophie says she now feels a lot of contempt for Martin — and disbelief that she ever put so much effort into fixing his social life. 

"I'm convinced this male loneliness epidemic is actually a male laziness epidemic," she quipped, "if I hadn't pushed Martin to get out there — basically organised it for him — I'd probably still be 'happily' married."

"Although now that I've seen his true colours, I suppose I should be grateful I'm not." 

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Feature Image: Getty. (Stock image for illustrative purposes only).