The telltale signs that you're living with a toddler.

You’ll identify. In fact, anyone who has ever met a toddler will. Because, let’s face it, there is no way of knowing that the exquisite newborn you have produced will one day turn into a tiny terrorist that will, in the end, have his or her way with you.

And don’t worry, it takes us all by surprise.  One minute you’re looking at a cherubic little human who is adorably failing to kiss your lips each time they attempt to, and the next, you are faced with a tiny tornado on two legs.

There are a few telltale signs however, so we’ve thoughtfully rounded them up for you here.

31 sure fire signs that you have a toddler in the house:

1. You can’t go to the toilet without an audience.

2. Silence scares you.

3. Dinner reservations are made for 5:30 instead of 8.

4. You no longer need an alarm clock.

6. You can’t move anywhere in the house without opening and closing seven different baby gates and safety apparatus’.

7. You automatically cut every sandwich you make into quarters.

8. You find yourself watching cartoons even after your child has gone to bed.

10. Your cat hides under the bed for its own safety.

11. Your laundry pile never seems to end.

12. Your standard answer becomes “because I said so”.

13. You have more sippy cups than wine glasses.

14. The bags under your eyes are bigger than your boobs.

15. The house looks like it’s been tipped upside down.

16. As soon as it turns 5pm, you reach for the wine.

18. You have to shut the fridge 50 times in a row because they like looking at the light in the fridge.

19. You sit quietly and calmly and eat dinner, a whole meal, together in an orderly fashion. (Kidding, you won’t sit for an entire serving again until that kid is seven.)

20. You know most of the Disney movies off by heart.

21. You hear yourself say “stop licking the floor” and you’re not talking to the dog.

22. Your pots and pans are transformed into drum sets.

23. You become a one person cheer squad when they successfully use the toilet/potty.

24. Any normal person walking into your home would presume your house has just been ransacked.

25. Your “outside” voice becomes your Inside one.

26. All you hear are the words “no” and “why”.

27. You have to empty out your shoes before you put them on.

28. You are so excited when they finally eat something that you happily cut their morning toast into hearts. Or stars. Or sharks. Or the Eiffel tower.

29. You can’t find the bath plug, or the home phone.

30. The dog is sticky.

And most importantly,

31. You are showered with hugs and love.

Toddlers are gorgeous little creatures. Effervescent and forever keeping us on our toes and I doubt any of us would have it any other way.

What about you though, can you add to the list? How do you know that you have a toddler in the house?