'My week as a full-grown adult living for The Summer I Turned Pretty.'

Look, I'm a grown adult with a mortgage, back pain, and a favourite Bunnings aisle. 

And yet…each week, I find myself mentally transported to Cousins Beach — living like I'm a carefree 21-year-old with no responsibilities and excellent hair.

Yes, I've been deep in The Summer I Turned Pretty — and by "deep," I mean emotionally committed to the point where I briefly considered buying a volleyball and penning angsty diary entries.

Watch: The trailer for The Summer I Turned Pretty Season 3. Post continues after video.

Here's how that's going for me.

Monday: I'm lying to myself.

I start the week like any other responsible adult.

Calendar open. Coffee brewed. Mentally prepped for meetings and deadlines.

But in the background? I'm already spiralling.

I've rewatched last week's episode twice since Saturday, and now I'm scrolling TikTok for soft edits of Conrad looking tortured on a beach.

Totally fine. Totally normal.

Tuesday: The countdown begins.

I pretend I'm focused at work, but every task feels like filler content until the main event drops. 

My group chat is already heating up with theories.

"Did you see the promo?"

"Are we getting a kiss?"

"A breakup?"

"Another slow-motion volleyball montage?"

At dinner, I tell my family, "I have a big thing tomorrow."

They assume it's work-related. I let them believe that.

Wednesday: It's new episode day (aka Christmas for emotionally unstable adults).

4:58pm: I light a candle. I opened the Prime Video app. I turned my phone on 'Do Not Disturb'.

5:00pm: WE RIDE.

I gasp. I scream. I whisper "nooo" at the screen even though I'm the one who pressed play. 

My group chat is chaos. I'm taking screenshots of dialogue like it's Shakespeare.

Then, obviously, I rewatch the episode immediately — just to study the nuances.

Thursday: The post-episode spiral.

Today's productivity level: tragic. 

I spent a full hour reading theories on Reddit.

I spiral about that one lingering look from Conrad. 

I make the mistake of googling "TSITP Season 4 petition" like someone who's in complete denial that this is the final season.

I attempt to explain the plot to my coworker, who does not care. She nods politely. I make a mental note to replace her with someone emotionally available.

Friday: Meme mania.

I woke up to 12 new memes in the group chat. 

We're dissecting the episode like it's an HSC text. I sent a Jeremiah thirst trap to the group with the caption "me, ignoring all red flags."

Someone says they're "Team Belly's happiness."

They are immediately removed from the chat. Pick a side.

Saturday: Peaceful… but hollow.

The world outside is bright and full of potential. The group chat is quieter now. We all try to touch grass. Some of us succeed.

But deep down, we know the joy of Wednesday is already fading. I contemplate starting Season 1 again just for the serotonin hit.

Sunday: Emotional drought.

There is no episode. No promo. No drama. I scroll aimlessly. Life feels grey.

I consider reading the books again but remember the pain. 

I cry watching a fan-made montage of "Teenage Dirtbag." I ask myself why I'm like this.

And yet… I know I'll do it all again next week.

Next Monday: The delusion returns.

I say, "I'm not going to think about it this week."

By 9am, I was on Pinterest searching for Conrad Fisher autumn moodboards. 

By lunchtime, I'd watched three fan theories and a 27-minute YouTube breakdown called "Why Belly actually chose wrong (But also right?)."

This is just who I am now.

Tuesday: The withdrawal hits.

I try to consume other media. I attempt a different show. Nothing hits. The vibes aren't vibing.

I started noticing other characters have zero chemistry compared to Conrad and Belly.

At one point, I stare out the window and softly whisper "Cousins… was ours" like I'm grieving a fictional breakup.

Wednesday: She rises.

It's here. It's today. The group chat is alive.

I cancelled my plans. I serve the kids dinner early. I tell my partner, "Don't speak to me from 5 to 6."

I queued up for Prime. I held my breath.

I press play.

TSITP isn't just a show. It's a weekly personality shift.

Every week, I go through the stages of anticipation, obsession, devastation, and denial — and I do it willingly.

Is it healthy? Probably not.

Is it healing something deep within my soul I didn't know needed healing? Absolutely.

So see you next Wednesday. I'll be the one clutching a tissue, whispering "You don't get to say it unless you mean it."

Read more about The Summer I Turned Pretty:

• 'There was one scene in The Summer I Turned Pretty that enraged the internet. I asked the creator to explain herself.'

• The 7 questions we need answered in The Summer I Turned Pretty season 2.

• 'In 2018 my perception of pop culture changed forever. I finally got to meet the woman behind it.'

Feature image: Supplied/Prime Video.