Why Lindy Klim ended her marriage and left Bali with just two suitcases.

When Lindy Klim met property developer, Adam Ellis, he seemed almost perfect. 

The pain of her separation from swimmer, Michael Klim, was fresh, and Adam was showing up for her just the way she needed him to. He was showing up for her children — Stella, Rocco and Frankie, as well. 

"He was a fantastic stepfather to my kids, which was what I really needed at that time," shares Lindy. 

"He was also a great support during my divorce with Michael. That's what made me fall in love with him, and I thought everything was going to be amazing."

And for a while, it was.

Watch: How to support someone going through a separation or divorce. Article continues after the video.

Lindy and Adam got married, and raised their blended family, including a daughter they share together, Goldie, in Bali. 

"I was so in love," says Lindy. "In hindsight, I probably rushed into things. I was in a very vulnerable state."

Lindy always knew there were some issues with Adam's mental health, but they were manageable. But then Covid hit, and the dynamic of their relationship slowly began to change.  She says it was a very controlling relationship.

"His behaviour started to spiral, with weird patterns emerging. Because it happens over such a long period, you don't notice it as much. You get used to that behaviour and the manipulation. My friends would see it, my family would see it, and my body could feel it — I was sick all the time."

Years went by, and for Lindy, life became almost unbearable, though she couldn't quite pinpoint why. Then the borders opened, and she returned to Australia. Suddenly, she was able to view her relationship from the outside. 

"My friends and family could see how unwell I was getting. I went to a GP in Australia who put me on antianxiety medication. That gave me space to view my relationship differently. I wasn't being as triggered by his behaviour anymore. I wouldn't react, but his behaviour continued. That was a big eye-opener."

Lindy says she realised she was living a life based on hope, longing for things to return to how they once were — a phenomenon many victims-survivors of coercive control experience. 

"I might have had four unbelievable times in a year with him, that were just incredible. Then the rest of the year, I'm hoping and wishing for those four times back again, doing everything I can, pleasing him, walking on eggshells, just to see those glimmers of hope again."

Lindy says spending time in Australia gave her perspective on the situation. Image: Instagram/@lindyklim.

Still, Lindy tried everything to make things work — counselling, medication, exercise, and breath work. 

"Everything possible to help myself, which really did help me see the light. But seeing him not taking charge of his own life was probably the catalyst," she says.

"I had to leave, especially for the kids. I didn't want them to have that dark energy around all the time."

Before ending her marriage for good, Lindy tried one last time to convince her husband to join her in doing the work.

 "Around June last year, I got a place and told him it was for the kids and me, and he could move out. I didn't want his energy in the house anymore. He would float in and out to pick up Goldie for school but wasn't really hands-on. 

"The door was open for about four months, I was hoping he'd come back and get the help needed. But then he did something I couldn't forgive, and that's when I decided to return to Australia."

Adam's erratic behaviour meant Lindy felt she needed to leave Bali quickly, so she left everything behind, returning to Australia with nothing but a couple of suitcases. 

"I was scared at the time. In Bali, the law is different, it's very corrupt, and police don't really help. So, I put everything in storage (and left).

"It's part of my nature — even with Michael (Klim), I didn't keep anything from that marriage. I just get up and go. It's this cleansing thing I do, starting fresh."

Despite being faced with an array of financial and emotional challenges, Lindy says making the move was the best decision she could have made, for herself and her children. 

"I'm feeling great now. In Bali, I was carrying the family, earning the money, doing all the household things, and holding up someone with dark energy. 

"Now, even though I'm broke and constantly exhausted doing everything, I'm just so happy. I don't have that mental load anymore. 

"The kids are happy, we're laughing, nobody's fighting. The energy flow is just so nice."

Lindy says the family is feeling happier these days. Image: Instagram/@lindyklim.

Lindy has recently started dating businessman, Paul Mullert, but says she's taking things slowly. 

"I didn't want to meet anyone at first. I'm very adamant about having my own house and him having his — not moving in, not getting married. 

"I'm still working on myself to ensure I'm not carrying stuff from the last relationship into this one."

Lindy is sharing her experience because she wants other women to know there is a way out. 

"People often talk about physical abuse in relationships, but not many discuss mental abuse. 

"Everyone's hoping and wishing everything will be okay. But, you need to look at what's happening now — that's more important than hoping for something in the future that may not happen. 

"I know it's overwhelming and scary. At one point, I thought I might have to be in a shelter for women. But there's always a way out, somewhere and somehow."

For now, Lindy is focusing on the future. Her intimate skincare brand, Fig Femme, is doing well, with a five-year-deal recently secured in the Middle East. She's also getting back into modelling. 

"Which is fantastic at almost 50, with all this inclusive movement, it's turned around," she says.

"Right now, though, it's really week by week, trying to get through financially with the kids. I don't have any big dreams at the moment, just focusing on getting through the next months of paying rent. 

"All I care about is that we're happy and smiling and having a good time."

Lindy believes her experience will resonate with other women who may be feeling trapped and unable to leave. 

"It's the fear of not knowing and not having a place to go. We live in this world of perfection, so it's hard to talk about. I've gone from having beautiful homes and all these things to absolutely nothing, but I'm actually the happiest I've ever been."

Feature image: Instagram/@lindyklim.