After murdering Lilie James, her killer's final act was unspeakably cruel.

This story mentions domestic violence.

The last time Lilie James' dad saw her alive, she was eating Vegemite toast.

"I was sitting in the lounge room, watching her eat her toast," Jamie told 60 Minutes' Tara Brown, "she eats it in a funny way, her Vegemite toast." 

In spite of the fact that the 21-year-old was due to leave for her part-time job as a water polo coach at the prestigious St Andrew's Cathedral School in Sydney's CBD, Jamie says his daughter was her usual, happy self.

"I'm looking at the clock because the train's going to come shortly, and she's off in her own little world," he continued, "but she didn't seem agitated. She didn't seem frightened, nothing. It was just a normal Wednesday."

It wasn't a normal Wednesday, though. It would turn out to be a Wednesday that shattered Lilie's family forever.

Watch: We lose one woman every week in Australia to domestic violence, but that's just the tip of a very grim iceberg. Post continues after video.

On October 25 - one year ago almost to the day - at around 8:30 pm, Jamie James received a text message from his daughter's phone saying: 

"Don't ask why or call please come to the school now and pick me up."

Jamie showed Lilie's mum, Peta, who told him: "You've got to go. At least if you go, we'll know she's safe."

While Jamie rushed to the school to find his daughter and raised the alarm, it was already too late. 

"I just couldn't find her," he says of his increasingly desperate search for his daughter once he arrived at the school. "I couldn't find her. And it was getting late and I couldn't track her down. I had her bag at this stage, I had her pass, and all of a sudden, police came. Ambulance came."

Shortly after 7 pm, Lilie had been beaten to death with a hammer by Paul Thijssen, a fellow St Andrews staff member and coach of the hockey team. CCTV footage would later reveal the 24-year-old Thijssen following Lilie into a bathroom in the school's gymnasium, then leaving alone an hour later.

When police discovered Lilie, left with severe head injuries in the bathroom, her body was so badly beaten it was at first unrecognisable.

Because of the established timeline of her death, police concluded the text message was sent from Lilie's phone by Thijssen himself.

Read more: Her Name Was Lilie James and she's the 55th woman to be killed by violence in 2023.

Lilie's parents believe it was a final act of cruelty, intended to cause ultimate devastation.

"I think he wanted Jamie to be the one to find her," says Peta.

The pair had been involved in a brief relationship that had begun about five weeks prior, but had called things off earlier that week. 

While things had seemed amicable, Thijssen was hiding a sinister, violent side.

According to an ex-girlfriend who spoke to 60 Minutes, the former sports captain at St Andrews, who many described as a normal, friendly guy who showed no red flags for this kind of capacity for violence, made her fear for her safety.

Describing him as "increasingly obsessive," the ex-girlfriend, whose identity was concealed by producers, described an incident after the pair broke up in which Paul Thijssen punched a tree, explaining he did so because "he couldn't punch the thing he actually wanted to punch". 

Later, he showed up at her house, looking, according to her, "like he was unhinged, in some sort of episode."

"I don't even know how to explain it," she told producers, "it's like he was deranged like there was something not right about him."

Captured on CCTV footage hours after Lilie's death, dumping some of her belongings, Paul Thijssen was last seen in Vaucluse, in Sydney's Eastern Suburbs. 

Just before midnight, he made a call to authorities to report the crime, which was traced back to The Gap, a cliff at nearby Watsons Bay, where a backpack containing some of Thijssen's belongings was found. 

A search commenced for the man, and ultimately his body was discovered at nearby Diamond Bay on October 27.

A year on, Lilie's friends and family are still piecing together life without their beautiful girl. 

"We haven't even made her bed since that morning she got out of it," says Peta sadly. "We've just left her room exactly as it was."

Read more: 'The sweetest person.' Lilie James' life was just beginning.

Lilie's mum Peta is also battling cancer, diagnosed just before Lilie's death.

"I have melanoma in both lungs and maybe a lymph node or two, depending on who you ask," says Peta. "We just take my health day by day, and see where we end up."

In spite of it all, the James' are determined to make sure something is done to stop the epidemic of male violence and entitlement in this country.

"He can rot in hell," Jamie says of Thijssen. "He was self-centred, entitled, selfish and just wrong."

"We're bringing up women who are strong, educated, who know what they want and will go after it," says Peta. "But are we teaching our kids how to handle the rejection involved in relationships?" she ponders, "I don't know that we're teaching our kids that not everything is going to go their way."

Peta and Jamie James, Lilie James' parents on 60 minutes Australia. Image: Supplied.

They're also determined, in the midst of their pain, to honour Lilie's memory.

"She was hardworking, she loved being involved. She could be very nosy," chuckles Peta. "But she just wanted to make people's days better. She was always there with a quick smile or conversation. I really think she just wanted to make people smile."

Listen to The Quicky where we take a look at the 'Good Bloke Syndrome' and why it's time some men held a mirror up to their own behaviours to understand what is happening to the women of Australia.

If you or someone you know is at risk of violence, contact: 1800 RESPECT.

Mamamia is a charity partner of RizeUp Australia, a Queensland-based organisation that helps women and families move on after the devastation of domestic violence. If you would like to support their mission to deliver life-changing and practical support to these families when they need it most, you can donate here. You can also donate to their Christmas Appeal here.

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Feature image: Facebook.