'I lent my best friend money after her divorce. How she spent it blindsided me.'

As told to Ann DeGrey.

I always saw myself as being a good judge of character. Especially when it came to my friends. But after what happened with Bianca*, I've started to second-guess everything.

Was I too trusting? Or just foolish?

Watch: 8 Signs of A Toxic Friendship from Sharon Livingston's TED talk. Post continues below.

We met in our late twenties, when we were fresh out of terrible relationships and building careers and new lives as single women. She was loud and fun to be around. She could make small talk with anyone and I always admired that about her. When I went through a particularly tough breakup, she was there for me while I sobbed like a baby.

We became close over the years, laughing about terrible dates, supporting each other through family dramas, and every chaotic moment in between.

So when she went through a tough divorce last year, I was happy to be there for her once more. Her ex-husband hadn't left her much money and she refused to hire a lawyer to try and get more from him. She told me she was practically broke, with legal bills piling up, rent overdue and she'd lost a job due to taking too much time off.

She didn't ask directly, but she threw some heavy hints around about how she needed money, otherwise she'd have to leave her rental and move into her elderly parents' house, which would've been a big blow to her. I'd always been a very good saver and had a healthy bank balance, so I offered to lend her some money.

Not a small amount, either; enough to cover three months' rent and get her back on her feet.

She was hesitant at first and said she didn't want to mix money and friendship. But I reassured her. "It's not a big deal. You'd do the same for me," I said. She hugged me and was just so grateful, I knew I was doing the right thing.

I transferred the money that same day, no questions asked. She cried on the phone, telling me I'd saved her life. I felt happy with myself, very content that I was helping someone I loved.

But a few weeks later, everything changed.

A mutual friend messaged me late one night with a screenshot: a post from a private social media account I didn't follow. It was Bianca on a beach in Thailand. Not just any beach, but one of those stunning white-sand, turquoise-water resorts that costs more than my monthly rent. The caption was something like, "Healing, finally. #Gratitude #SoloTrip."

I stared at it for a long time. At first, I thought it was just an old photo. I knew she'd been to Thailand years earlier. Maybe it was a gift from someone else. Maybe I was being paranoid.

But then came more photos.

Business-class flight selfies. A designer handbag. Fancy cocktails. Spa days. It was all there, broadcast across this secret holiday account, like she was living in some glossy influencer fantasy.

This was the same friend who'd told me she couldn't afford groceries two weeks earlier!

I felt very betrayed. This is what she used my hard-earned cash for?

When I confronted her, she didn't deny it. She said she "needed a break" from the stress and the trip was "a form of healing." She actually had the nerve to say that she was going to pay me back eventually, and that I should be happy she was doing better.

Happy? I was speechless.

I tried to explain how deeply that upset me. That it wasn't about the money; it was about the trust. About how I dropped everything to help her, no hesitation, and she turned around and used that help to treat herself like a celebrity on vacation.

But she didn't get it. She acted like she didn't care. Either way, that conversation was the last time we spoke. I realised she was a fake friend and I don't want her in my life.

Since then, I've thought a lot about what happened. Part of me feels foolish; like I should've seen it coming. But I didn't. I really loved her like a sister, and I never imagined she'd take advantage of me like that. It's not like I'm filthy rich, I'm mildly comfortable, that's all.

But mostly, I just feel sad. I'm upset that someone I trusted saw my kindness as a kind of loophole. It's very hurtful to me that she got to fly off into the sunset – literally – while I sat at home, checking my bank balance and wondering how I let this happen.

Because generosity is one thing. Being played? That's something else entirely.

The author of this article is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons.

Feature Image: Getty.