The tragic and mysterious death of little JonBenet Ramsay back in 1996 never happened, you guys. The whole case was a well-designed plot to ensure the pop-world domination of one Katy Perry, 31.
Finally, finally we’ve gotten to the bottom of this case. The facts of this matter have been uncovered by warriors for truth and justice who reside, hopefully, solely on the internet.
The proof, once you hear it, is irrefutable.
It includes the telling similarity of their eyebrow shapes, the startling fact that they both have parents, and most damning of all, both Ramsay’s and Perry’s affinity for cowboy hats.
JonBenet Ramsay became Katy Perry. That’s a fact. So if any of you continue to lie, about this person dying you are in fact a false witness to murder and death. That’s a fact. If any of you have told people in the past that this person died, you need to go and tell them that you were wrong.
Excuse me, I have to make some phone calls.
One of these intrepid investigators, with an admirable lack of concern for his own safety in the face of the Illuminati, is, I’m proud to say, Australian.
Listen to his take on things here. Post continues after audio…
Oh, and I hope you can handle some more of his truth bombs! Cause they’re droppin’.
Michelle Obama is gay. BOOM!
Selena Gomez is a man. KABOOM!
DINOSAURS NEVER EXISTED. KABLAMMO!
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The Spill
