The four items Kate Middleton always keeps in her handbag.

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A woman’s handbag is a mysterious place.

And by mysterious I mean am I the only one who can never find what I’m looking for in mine?

If you looked in there right now you’d probably stumble upon a few crinkled up old receipts and approximately 6,000 lipsticks. Oh but when I need one? Zero.

It’s like a junky, make-up-hoarder version of Mary Poppins’ bag

With that in mind, what does a royal handbag look like, we wonder?

How many shades of lippy reside in there?

Well, thanks to Kate: A Biography by Marcia Moody, we’ve just found out exactly what Kate Middleton keeps in hers (and there’s not a lipstick in sight).

According to Moody, The Duchess of Cambridge travels with only four items in her royal purse.

What are they, you ask?

...We'll tell you after you've watched this video of royal etiquette in real life.

*Drumroll please*

Item number one: a compact mirror - to check if she has food in her teeth (we assume).

Two: blotting paper - to mop up a sweaty forehead on a humid day (probably).

Three: a handkerchief - for snotty-nose disasters (or maybe for waving at people, we don't know).

And item number four: lip balm, of course, because chapped lips are unseemly.

All very regal items.

BUT WAIT.

What about... her phone?

Kate Middleton would... have a phone, right?

We know she's not allowed to have an Instagram account, but surely her and Prince William need to text each other... and, you know, tag each other in memes. Surely.

We can only assume she's constantly wearing clothing with pockets for phone storage.

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