Please don't use this as a sign to text your ex.

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Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck smiled at each other on a red carpet and, suddenly, half the world has forgotten why getting back with your ex is an absolutely terrible idea.

Arguably one of Hollywood's most chaotic — and nostalgic — couples, the pair reunited at a New York screening of Jennifer's new movie, Kiss of the Spider Woman, which Affleck executive produced.

Despite the flash of a thousand cameras, they looked friendly, composed and suspiciously like two people who once shared a mortgage, a yacht and possibly a midlife crisis.

And, like clockwork, we all seem to have decided it was a sign. 

Watch: Jessie, Mia and Amelia explain why you should 'Lemon Law' your next date on Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.

A sign to believe in second chances. A sign that maybe our own ex wasn't that bad. A sign that perhaps sending a text that says, "Hey, how have you been?" at 11:42pm is the universe guiding us toward love and not, in fact, the wine talking. 

Let me be very clear with you: it is not a sign. It is pure delusion. 

For those who have managed to avoid the past two decades of pop culture déjà vu: Jennifer and Ben met on the set of Gigli in 2002. They got engaged, with Ben presenting J.Lo a pink diamond that was approximately the size of a golf ball. Then, under the weight of "intense media pressure" (and, arguably the box office bomb that was Gigli), they called it off. 

Fast-forward to 2021. The world was locked-down, emotionally unhinged and positively feral for a fairytale. After marriages, children, divorces — and in J.Lo's case, several additional fiancés — "Bennifer" rose from the ashes, like a painfully photogenic phoenix. 

They gave interviews about love that "finally made sense" and said they were thankful they "got a second chance". They got re-engaged, married in Vegas, held a three-day wedding celebration in Georgia and, for a minute, it worked.

Until it didn't. 

Rumours of "living separately" began, followed by divorce papers that ultimately confirmed what we'd already guessed: that love might get a sequel, but it rarely gets a happy ending. 

Just nine months later, here they are again. Smiling. Laughing. Looking like they haven't at all trauma-bonded over almost three decades of tabloid headlines. 

Don't let this convince you to give them another chance… Image: Getty.

And, because we are all deeply unwell, we want to scream: BENNIFER 3.0! 

But here's the thing about exes: they are exes for a reason. Relationships end for a reason. And nostalgia? It's an expert liar. It edits the story, skips all the bad parts, adds a soft sepia-toned filter to the dysfunction and quietly whispers, "Maybe next time it will be different." 

Spoiler: it won't. 

I say this with love (and with the authority of a woman who has tried, failed, and re-tried anyway): people don't really change in the way we hope they do.

They grow, sure, but usually it's in opposite directions from ourselves. Getting back with an ex isn't romantic; it's digging up old bones like you're performing some sort of emotional archaeology, hoping the skeleton will come back to life.

Breakups happen because something fundamental stopped working, whether it be the timing, maturity, compatibility, self-worth, communication or all of the above. If you're tempted to go back, it's often not because you've evolved. It's because you're tired. Because starting again is hard, and nostalgia is easy. But going backwards isn't healing.

When you see your ex again, your brain doesn't play the horror movie. It plays a highlight reel. It plays back the lazy Sunday mornings and the inside jokes. It recites the texts that made your stomach flip, and it shows you the version of yourself who still believed it was forever. It's not love but muscle memory, and sometimes the hardest part of moving on is admitting that missing someone doesn't mean you were meant to keep them.

We all want to believe in the cinematic comeback. The 'we found our way back to each other' narrative. But in real life, there's no swelling soundtrack, no perfectly timed rainstorm and certainly no publicist spinning the storyline.

There's just two people making the same mistake twice. 

Let's not forget this is no spontaneous romantic reunion: J.Lo and Ben are promoting a film. That's not fate, it's just press and the reality that the Bennifer brand still prints money (after all, Hollywood loves a redemption arc). But you and I? We aren't promoting anything… except perhaps our own spirals. 

Where Ben and Jen have stylists and PR representatives, we have an unhinged group chat, a therapist and an unhealthy reliance on Uber Eats. When we text our ex, it doesn't end in an iconic red carpet moment — it more often than not ends with regret, a half-eaten pizza and a 2am spiral soundtracked by Taylor Swift (The Tortured Poets Department-era, not the new one where she's thriving and happy and in love.)

So, no, don't look at these photos and think you should "check in". You don't need closure disguised as a casual coffee catch-up. You don't need to convince yourself that time heals all wounds and distance makes the heart grow fonder when, really, it just made you forget how bad the last round felt. 

Please, please don't be tempted to recycle someone who has already taught you the lesson they were meant to. 

My advice? If you're feeling that itch, do yourself a favour: close Instagram. Hide your phone in the cushions of the couch. Go outside. Touch some grass. Text literally anyone else. 

You don't need closure. You need a nap, a friend to talk you out of it, and maybe a snack.

Feature image: Getty.